Sunday, 31 August 2008

Pass the beta blockers ...

I can't find the words to convey my amazement:

AN SNP COUNCILLOR CAUGHT ON camera firing an AK-47 assault rifle was yesterday spared expulsion from the party by Nationalist officials.

The SNP disciplinary committee rejected dumping Jahangir Hanif, who also passed the deadly weapon to his children, in favour of a two-month suspension.

In a bizarre turn of events, the hearing nearly collapsed after SNP bosses bungled the initial complaint made to the committee.

Tory MSP Bill Aitken said: "Maybe the SNP think this is an adequate disposal, but frankly most people will think this man should not be holding public office. His conduct is a disgrace to his electorate."

The probe into Hanif's conduct followed footage released earlier this month that showed the 46-year-old Glasgow councillor firing an assault rifle while on holiday in Pakistan in December 2005.

The revelations were made worse after it emerged that Hanif had passed the weapon to several of his children, including a daughter who was five at the time.

Another of his daughters, 17-year-old Noor, said she and her siblings fired the gun.

Hanif was immediately suspended by the party and an investigation was launched by the Nationalists' disciplinary committee, which responded to a complaint by SNP national secretary Duncan Ross.


What?

What?????

Truly: WHAT THE FUCK???

Even more: WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?????????

I've read the article several times now, and I cannot see what it is that this man has done to merit a suspension. He fired a gun. Whoop-de-fucking-doo. So what? He gave it to his kids to show them, including (shock! horror!) a five-year-old. His daughter also shot the gun. And?

Was anyone hurt? Did kittens die? Did little baby Jesus get a cattle prod shoved up his jacksy?

I can't even begin to explain my incomprehension as to how any of this was any fucking business of the SNP or what gives them the right to punish Jahangir Hanif for simply shooting a few rounds with an AK47.

Can somebody please explain it to me?

Oh, and Bill Aitken: you're a fucking pointless twat. Help yourself to a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut, you pathetic excuse for a human being.

Oh, the Righteous gnashing of teeth and wailing ...

I had to change my kecks after reading this:

Tarique Ghaffur and his family are being protected by private bodyguards, following his public claims about discrimination in the force.

His lawyer, Shahrokh Mireskandari, accused the Met's deputy commissioner, Sir Paul Stephenson, of "inciting hatred" by telling Britain's top Asian policeman to "shut up and get on with his job".

"That is inciting hatred," he said.

"We are extremely concerned."

Mr Ghaffur added: "In light of the tone of Sir Paul Stephenson's statement, I am now extremely concerned for my personal safety and those close to me including family and supporters alike."


I'm sorry, "inciting hatred"? How the fuck does "shut up and get on with your fucking job" constitute "inciting hatred"? Does this mean that I can demand police protection when my boss tells me to "stop talking and get on with what I pay you for"?

Fucking result!

Jesus, are these people all fucking barking mad, or what??????

Top cop hides graft

It couldn't happen to a nicer guy, could it?

Sir Ian Blair faces a new investigation after whistleblowers accused the already embattled Metropolitan Police Commissioner of turning "a blind eye" to corruption allegations surrounding murdered Special Constable Nisha Patel-Nasri.

It has emerged that in 2003, three years before her husband plotted the murder, the Met had been alerted to a possible corrupt association between the couple and a senior officer.


Hmmm...

The tip-off came from a police sergeant in another force who sent three detailed reports to the anti-corruption unit, which was then under Sir Ian's command.

One report warned that the couple were running a prostitution racket and had boasted of having protection high up in the police.

An IoS investigation can reveal that a senior officer based at Scotland Yard was named in the second report. It said he had provided confidential information about a client of the couple's escort agency, Seventh Heaven, who owed money.

However, the claims were not investigated. And lawyers for Fadi Nasri, who was convicted of his wife's murder in May, say that anti-corruption detectives never questioned him.

Now, a whistleblower who worked on the murder inquiry claims she was told not to research the corruption allegations.


And of course:

Sir Ian is already under investigation by the watchdog following allegations of improper links with a businessman who was awarded Met contracts.


Wonder how many other skeletons are in this sanctimonious cunt's closet?

So, who's voting for some lower-order copper being scapegoated, and who's voting for Ian carrying on with the tough decisions necessary for the improved production of tractors by the police? Because you know he's not going to go, don't you?

RIP Geoffrey Perkins

He ... produced the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, one of the most successful radio shows ever made.

He became head of comedy for BBC TV with highlights of his TV career including The Catherine Tate Show, The Fast Show and Channel 4's Father Ted.


Sorely missed.

Tech Tip du Jour: Moron Informix Pricing

My apologies to non-geeks, it's time to revisit this incredibly tedious subject again.


Over on comp.databases.informix, Captain Pedantic wrote:

The point being that the sexy Continuous Availability features are only as purchasable optional extras in a version, Enterprise, where - no two ways about this - Informix is *already* more expensive than Oracle and DB2 even before you buy the optional extras!

The pricing of the features is a huge disappointment.

Now that is something that IBM could easily do something about, even just to put IDS on the same footing price-wise as DB2 ...


So, I cracked open my pricebook once more ... Assuming a single-CPU Intel box again:

IDS Enterprise Edition: $51,500
Oracle EE: $47,500

Twiddly bits for a 4-way cluster:
CAF: $20,000
RAC: $23,000

Licensing total:
IDS: $286,000
Oracle: $282,000

Assumption for the above: Oracle to be fully licensed (EE+RAC) on each RAC node. I'm sure an ACE Director will be along shortly to tell me if I'm wrong.

I'm willing to be that you'll save that $4,000 just in installation and configuration time on IDS vs Oracle. Chuck in Dataguard and there's no real difference. Chuck in Partitioning and IDS is cheaper. I don't think a <1.5% list price difference is a particularly "compelling" argument, especially when you factor in negative scalability. ;o)

Just for shits and giggles, though:
SQL Server EE: $25,000
SQL Server cluster: $0
SQL Server HDR: $0
SQL Server Total: $100,000

Further assuming that a 4-way cluster is even possible in SQL Server, of course. I have no idea.

Note that I am not saying I agree with the pricing, I'm just saying that at that level, list price differences aren't really the issue. I'd love IDS to be able to take the fight to SQL Server on price and my personal take on this is that EE should include everything.

But, er, hey! What do I know? It's not like I'm sitting here naked and blogging!

Oh wait, I am!

Saturday, 30 August 2008

Another great reason not to windfall tax energy companies ...

Who do you think owns those obscene, greedy profits? Well, via your pension, you do.

It's not often a tech article makes my flesh crawl ...

... but this one managed to make it happen:

A decade ago, European countries leapt out of the gate to take the lead in the radical open source movement -- none more so than France -- and left U.S. developers in the proverbial dust. Through policies and high-profile projects, the French Republic for years has been advocating for all open source all the time, in government and education.


Riiight ...

Today, France is arguably the most fertile ground for open source development in the world. The well-known and respected OW2 Consortium for open source middleware has its roots there. Giant corporations, such as France Télécom, have embraced open source whole-heartedly.


Okaaaayyyy ...

The fruits of this labor reveal a lesson that U.S. developers would do well to take note: Everyone prospers when working together under a single, shared technology vision.


Ewww ... doesn't that just make your skin creep? "Everyone prospers when working together under a single, shared technology vision" ...

Just imagine: everyone prospers when working together under a single, shared technology vision, everyone prospers when working together under a single, shared economic vision, everyone prospers when working under a single, shared political vision ... Straight out of the little red book, that is.

"The French social model was appropriate for innovators and entrepreneurs to start working on alternative solutions [to proprietary software], fostering the creation of new projects in which a good mix of experienced professionals and skilled computer science students work together."


Wow! What a revolutionary idea: experienced professional and skilled students working together! Say boss, how about this brilliant idea? What do you mean, "am I taking the piss"? Oh, we've been doing this since the 60s have we? Sorry.

Freed from the shackles of narrow point products, secretive software components and forced workarounds, French open source developers are encouraged to experiment creatively and liberally.


The irony that a French company, Alcatel-Lucent, has just shut down the American innovation hotbed of Bell Labs is, apparently completely lost on Mr Kaneshige, who, by the sounds of it, is a big Obamamaniac. If that's not an insult to Obamamaniacs.

Moron malicious narratives ... er ...

Via this, I find this:


I was disappointed to find an approving link from a fellow ScienceBlogger to this sort of rant by Matt Stoller:

We all know that winning this election is not enough. It's just not. It's not even close. This is the most unpopular President we've ever had and our opponent is a crazy cancer-ridden dishonest madman. Our nominee should crush this guy.

"Crazy cancer-ridden dishonest madman"? Nice. I wonder if Matt spit out the term "cancer-ridden" with the same amount of contempt and venom while typing as he did when he spit out the terms "crazy," "dishonest," and "madman." I wonder if he thinks "cancer-ridden" is just as bad an insult as the other terms.

As a cancer surgeon, I found that bit about "cancer-ridden madman" to be a truly despicable rhetorical gambit, not to mention irrelevant. John McCain had melanoma. He was successfully treated for it, and has been cancer-free for seven years, making the likelihood of a recurrence very small. Whatever reasons one might have for not wanting him to be President, even if his having survived melanoma is one of them (an aspect of the overall package that, in McCain's case, I rank pretty darned low on the list of reasons not to vote for him, given the low likelihood of his tumor recurring), using the term "cancer-ridden" as part of a string of disparaging adjectives gives the impression that the vile moron who wrote the above sentence views being a cancer survivor as something to be ashamed of, something on the same order of being dishonest, crazy, or a madman.

And this blogger is not alone. For example, here are some other similar, equally vile, descriptions of John McCain:




Hmmmm ... what was it Sunny was saying about right-wing "malicious narratives" again? Glad to see that the Democrats are not resorting to the negative campaigning, of which, they accuse the Republicans so often.

Hat tip to Unenlightened Commentary.

My 2c on Palin

From what I can tell, she'd make a better president than either John "Chips Glorious Chips" McCain or Obamalamadingdong. She's shown that she has actual principles; she's not scared put her money where her mouth is or pick a fight with her own party; she's actually run something, which neither Mr Chips nor Obamalamadingdong have; she doesn't seem to have any closet skeletons, openly admits to smoking dope legally; counters the Mr Chips age thing; ticks the diversity box ... I struggle to see a downside, really.

In fact, suddenly the McCain / Palin ticket looks like a genuine agent for change and makes the Obama / Biden ticket look like rhetorical, policy-free, business as usual pork-barrelers. I reckon if you're not sure you can go for fully-fledged Libertarianism, the Republicans look like a marvellously bolshie pair who are going to upset a lot of big government applecarts.

But then I'm pretty sure Americans aren't looking to me for advice on how to vote any more than they are the Graundia or any of the other non-American pundits.

Is the Mirror a credible news source?

I don't know. But this is pretty scary stuff:

Thirty under-age teenage drinkers have been arrested by police using anti-terrorist legislation.

Youngsters who use borrowed, stolen or forged IDs to get into pubs and clubs are being held under the new laws - which makes it an offence to misrepresent documents for ID purposes.

In six weeks 30 youngsters have been held. One case has gone to court.

Police said they have the backing of licensed traders.


Who gives a fuck about the licensed traders? But this, this is the real kicker here:

Insp Neil Mutch in Sheffield, South Yorks, said: "It is one way of trying to keep kids out of clubs. The act was brought out for terrorism but it suits us very nicely."


I bet it does, you cunt. Don't you already have an actual law you could enforce?

So, anti-terror legislation used to intimidate hecklers, spy on your bins, keep kids out of nightclubs ... yeah, I feel safer under Labour. No, really, I do.

Cunts.

Friday, 29 August 2008

Not nice at all

Roy Hobbs, a recently blind person, said: "In my experience NICE aren't really very nice at all.

"They should change their name to the Clinical Unit for Not Treating the Sick."
From the Daily Mash ...

Hat tip to Resistance is Useless.

Something to get that ghastly taste out of my mouth

Tech Tip du Jour: IDS is cheaper than supported MySQL or PostgreSQL

Non-geeks may want to look away now.

There was a discussion on comp.databases.informix between two arrogant, opinionated arseholes:

Ian Michael Gumby wrote:
the support license costs [for MySQL or PostgreSQL] are much less than those of IBM or Oracle.

Obnoxio The Clown replied
Are you absolutely sure of that?

Ian Michael Gumby wrote:
OTC, yeah I'm sure. Unless you're also including certain very large customers who qualify for J level discount and then negotiate a 90% discount on top of that.

But that's not the market that we're talking about. We're talking about the SMB customer who at best could get a 20-25% discount from list.

You can check the prices and maintenance renewal.


Since I'm babysitting tonight, I cracked open my trusty business partner's guide to pricing:

Assuming a single-CPU Intel box (which isn't entirely unreasonable for an SMB):
  • Picking a PostgreSQL support vendor at random, I got a price of $2995 per annum for support. (Plus the bastard is in the US, so no bloody use to me.)
  • MySQL is also $2995 for support.
  • IDS Express Edition is $1035 for support. (Plus I get to speak to the wonderful, patient and mild-mannered Big Potatoe!)

So, for a five year period:

PostgreSQL: $14975
MySQL: $14975
IDS: $9315

And that's list. And pretty SMB.

The resident Oracle shill then piped up:

And if IDS were free one might use your numbers as an argument in its favor: Alas it is not. Why don't you put up all of the relevant numbers?

Let's see:
Oracle SE1 $7,076 with support.
SQL Server SE $5,999 with support.

Really whipping them into a frenzy there OTC.


But, as I replied: for $9135, you get to use Informix. You may as well compare a BMW with a Kia Picanto. I know what I'd rather work with. (And the license costs are included.)

Gumby then said he was talking about the full-fat, Enterprise Edition. But really, if someone wants to buy that, then it's all a lot more complicated, Oracle EE pricing goes way up, there's all sorts of option buying and stuff that PostgreSQL and MySQL can't do or can only do with lots of buggering around and extra costs.

I reckon if they're looking at supported PostgreSQL or supported MySQL, then really, Express Edition IDS is more than adequate.

There, Timmy, are you happy now?

That has got to be the dullest blog post I've ever made here.

The New York Times looks at the DNC

We must close the book on the bleeding wounds of the old politics of division and sail our ship up a mountain of hope and plant our flag on the sunrise of a thousand tomorrows with an American promise that will never die! For this election isn’t about the past or the present, or even the pluperfect conditional. It’s about the future, and Barack Obama loves the future because that’s where all his accomplishments are.


Here.

A Gold'en Shower

This is why IT people should not comment on politics (ipse dixit):

This legal crap makes my blood boil. You can mow down a kid in your car and get off with a fine or suspended sentence. But hack into a US set of computers and you're dead in the water. Truly.


I detect a certain, rather peculiar slant to his thinking here: most people who do mow down kids in their car certainly do not set out to do so. And I'm fairly certain that even though any person who did so who probably punish themselves more harshly for the rest of their lives than the CPS would, a fine or suspended sentence for a driving death is not likely to be on the cards. Finally, Mr Gold seems to have something against motorists overall: why leap in with the emotive example of an accidental, unintended death, when there are so many examples of young people being knifed or shot, or people being targeted by actual, malicious and above all intentional criminals?

And let's just back off from the emotive language here: McKinnon knew that he was committing a crime. As a consultant, I connect to many different systems, and military systems always get plastered with zillions of warnings about how you're committing a crime if you're accessing this without due authorisation.

Funnily enough, last time I looked, "wanting proof about UFOs" did not constitute due authorisation, even if the security was lax (and I'd require some serious convincing of that, too.) He's claiming that he did no damage, the Americans are blaming him for all sorts of shit. Somewhere in the middle is the truth, I suspect.

However, the papers say this:

Mr McKinnon had become obsessed with a theory that the US was using alien technologies to create weapons and “free energy”. He gave up his job and spent hours every night hacking in search of evidence. [You may want to remember this!]

He hacked into 53 US Army computers and 26 US Navy computers, including those at US Naval Weapons Station Earle in New Jersey, which is responsible for replenishing munitions and supplies for the Atlantic Fleet. Calling himself Solo, he left a threatening message: “US foreign policy is akin to government-sponsored terrorism these days? It was not a mistake that there was a huge security stand-down on September 11 last year . . . I am SOLO. I will continue to disrupt at the highest levels.”

He was caught in November 2002 as he tried to download a grainy black-and-white photograph that he believed was of an alien craft held on a Nasa computer in the Johnson Space Centre in Houston, Texas. [You may want to remember this, too!] He was easily traced by the authorities because he used his girlfriend’s e-mail account.


So, he definitely hacked, he left threatening messages after 9/11 and he disabled military computers. I'm struggling to find sympathy.

And what awful sentence is he facing? Because old Gold seems to think he's facing the death penalty or something:

If extradited, Mr McKinnon faces trial on eight charges of computer fraud. Each charge could carry a sentence of ten years in jail and a $250,000 fine. It is likely that he would receive a much lighter sentence and that, under a plea bargain offer, he would spend six to 12 months in a US jail before being returned to Britain to serve the rest of his sentence.


Given that this was the biggest hack of all time (allegedly), this seems like a pretty reasonable trade. The Americans get to save face back home, Gazza comes home and spends the rest of his time smoking weed and playing a PS3 at taxpayer's expense in some light security prison. And when he comes out, a lucrative career as a white hat hacker, money-spinning book deals, ego-stroking speaking engagements ... it all beckons.

The difference between Gaz (and Mr Gold) on the one hand and the Yanks on the other is that Gaz seems to think he has suffered enough. Just being caught and threatened with jail is bad enough. Well, folks, I think he's clearly committed criminal activities, he's confessed to them, he should stand trial and if he's found guilty, he should pay the price. If you can't do the time, don't do the crime.

Oh, those things I said you may want to remember? Well, have a look at this:

Mr McKinnon has previously said: “What I did was illegal and wrong, and I accept I should be punished. But I am not a member of al-Qaeda. I believe my case is being treated so seriously because they’re scared of what I’ve seen. I’m living in a surreal, nutter’s film.


You reckon, Gary? I agree. The difference is, I think you're the director.

Anyway, back to Mr Golden Showers:

I'm really very, very, VERY angry about the McKinnon case. It's been badly handled from beginning to end. The Yanks will now get their xenophobic and misanthropic legal paws on a Brit and the UK government has done Jack for him.

I'm beginning to understand how Russia feels when it sees the Yanks swaggering around the Baltics. I hope the Yanks get their nose bloodied in the Baltics. It will serve them right for being the overbearing, hypocritical nation they are...


Me? I'm beginning to understand why Americans think we're self-important, overweening cocks who haven't got the balls to do anything for ourselves but go running to everyone else whenever someone stands up for their own rights. If Mr Gold thinks that a resurgent Russia bodes well for England, he's fucking wrong about that ... as well as everything else.

And if an American ever hacks Mr Gold's servers, see who does more to punish the guilty.

Shaved Chimp vs Economic Genius

Gweeds makes a good point:

If all our economic woes are made in America as Gordon claims, why is that their economy is showing healthy growth (despite high oil prices) and the U.K. economy is flat-lining?

Could it have something to do with George Bush's timely $150 billion bi-partisan growth stimulus package in February?


I was in the US earlier this year, and the TV and papers were full of "how to get your cheque as quickly as possible" advice. Cutting taxes, giving (their own) money to people to spend on essentials that those people want. Here, on the other hand, we have "tax and spend" and each of the three big parties bragging how much more they're going to tax and spend than the other guys.

Result? UK has 0% growth, US has 3.3% growth, despite having all the same economic factors that Gorgon "The Fuckwit" Broon blames on the bloody Yanks! The bit that really, really baffles me though: when I talk to people down the pub or in various online forums, they still seem to think that tax and spend is going to help.

WAKE UP PEOPLE: TAX AND SPEND DOES NOTHING TO HELP ECONOMIC GROWTH! IT ONLY PLACES GREATER AND GREATER LONG-TERM DRAG ON THE ECONOMY.

I don't quite know what to make of this ...

WTF?

While I don't approve of people who encourage kids to flagellate themselves with knives in the name of any religion, or indeed people who push any religion at kids, I think that the government pushing multi-culti divide and conquer perks at Muslims on one hand and demonising dusky beardies on the other is enough to make anyone mad.

Right, so what do we make of the story then?

Three men questioned over an alleged threat to assassinate Gorgon Brown have been charged with terror offences


Terror offences? What are they, then?

possession of an article in circumstances which give rise to a reasonable suspicion that possession is for a purpose connected with the commission, preparation or instigation of an act of terrorism


and

collecting or making a record of information likely to be useful to a person committing or preparing an act of terrorism


I promise, I am not making this up.

Is that a slightly vague and nebulous pair of charges, or fucking what? I mean, for the love of Christ, printing out a map of London that includes tourist attractions could be considered "making a record of information likely to be useful to a person committing or preparing an act of terrorism", couldn't it? A copy of the V for Vendetta comic could be then subsequently be considered "possession of an article in circumstances which give rise to a reasonable suspicion that possession is for a purpose connected with the commission, preparation or instigation of an act of terrorism".

It is understood no actual plot was in place but officers discovered a written threat on an extremist jihadi website


No plot, huh? The threat in question?

"target all the political leaders especially Tony Blair and Gordan Brown [sic]" and "all embassies, crusaders centers and their Interests through out the country."


Target them? With a paintball gun? Flour? Balloons full of rotten egg? Nuclear devices? What?

Fucking hell, what does that make me, anyway? I've said a thousand times I'd like to see T. Bliar and the Gorgon swinging from lamp-posts, a fate they richly deserve. Does that make me a fucking terrorist now?

I cannot help but feel that the running (police) dogs of the socialist morons in charge of us are putting this on for show. I mean, with charges as vague as that, they've got to be pretty fucking desperate.

And isn't it wonderful that the map in your car or a list of tourist attractions is theoretically sufficient to get you done on terror charges?

God help us all. (And I say that as an atheist.)

The End of an Era

I was very sad to read this, after all my years in IT:

After six Nobel Prizes, the invention of the transistor, laser and countless contributions to computer science and technology, it is the end of the road for Bell Labs' fundamental physics research lab.

Alcatel-Lucent, the parent company of Bell Labs, is pulling out of basic science, material physics and semiconductor research and will instead be focusing on more immediately marketable areas such as networking, high-speed electronics, wireless, nanotechnology and software.

The idea is to align the research work in the Lab closer to areas that the parent company is focusing on, says Peter Benedict, spokesperson for Bell Labs and Alcatel-Lucent Ventures.

"In the new innovation model, research needs to keep addressing the need of the mother company," he says.

That view is shortsighted and may drastically curtail the Labs' ability to come up with truly innovative discoveries, respond critics.

"Fundamental physics is absolutely crucial to computing," says Mike Lubell, director of public affairs for the American Physical Society. "Say in the case of integrated circuits, there were many, many small steps that occurred along the way resulting from decades worth of work in matters of physics."


I agree with the critics. The provision of labs and funding to do truly left-field research was one of the areas where I felt large corporates really could give something back to society in a way that smaller organisations and individuals couldn't.

Click here for a fairly complete list of achievements, but for me, these stand out:

* 1937 Clinton J. Davisson shared the Nobel Prize in Physics for demonstrating the wave nature of matter
* 1956 John Bardeen, Walter H. Brattain and William Shockley received the Nobel Prize in Physics for inventing the first silicon based transistor

During its first year of operation, facsimile (fax) transmission, invented elsewhere, was first demonstrated publicly by the Bell Laboratories.
In 1926, the laboratories invented the first synchronous-sound motion picture system.
In 1927, a long-distance television transmission of images of Herbert Hoover from Washington to New York was successful.
During the 1920s, the one-time pad cipher was invented by Gilbert Vernam and Joseph Mauborgne at the laboratories; Bell's Claude Shannon later proved that it was unbreakable.
In 1931, a foundation for radio astronomy was laid by Karl Jansky during his work investigating the origins of static on long-distance shortwave communications. He discovered that radio waves were being emitted from the center of the galaxy.
In 1933, stereo signals were transmitted live from Philadelphia to Washington, DC.
In 1937, the vocoder, the first electronic speech synthesizer was invented and demonstrated by Homer Dudley.
In 1947, the transistor, probably the most important invention developed by Bell Laboratories, was invented by John Bardeen, Walter Houser Brattain, and William Bradford Shockley (all of whom subsequently won the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1956). As for the spectacular side of the business, in 1956 TAT-1, the first transatlantic telephone cable was laid between Scotland and Newfoundland, in a joint effort by AT&T, Bell Laboratories, and British and Canadian telephone companies.
A year later, in 1957, MUSIC, one of the first computer programs to play electronic music, was created by Max Mathews.
In 1958, the laser was first described, in a technical paper by Arthur Schawlow and Charles Townes.
In 1960, Dawon Kahng and Martin Atalla invented the metal oxide semiconductor field-effect transistor (MOSFET); the MOSFET has achieved electronic hegemony and sustains the large-scale integrated circuits (LSIs) underlying today's information society.
In 1962, the electret microphone was invented by Gerhard M. Sessler and James Edward Maceo West.
In 1969, the UNIX operating system was created by Dennis Ritchie and Ken Thompson.
In 1970 Dennis Ritchie developed the C programming language as a replacement for the interpretive B for use in writing the UNIX operating system (also developed at Bell Laboratories).
In 1976, Fiber optics systems were first tested in Georgia and in 1980, the first single-chip 32-bit microprocessor, the BELLMAC-32A was demonstrated;
In 1983, the C++ programming language was developed by Bjarne Stroustrup as an extension to the original C programming language also developed at Bell Laboratories.
In 1988, TAT-8 became the first fiber optic transatlantic cable.
In 1990, WaveLAN, the first wireless local area network (LAN) was developed at Bell Laboratories. Wireless network technology would not become popular until the late 1990s and was first demonstrated in 1995.
In 1991, the 56K modem technology was patented by Nuri Dağdeviren and his team.
In 1997, 50 years after inventing the original transistor, the smallest practical transistor (60 nanometers or a mere 182 atoms wide) was built.
In 1998, the first optical router was invented and the first combination of voice and data traffic on an Internet Protocol (IP) network was developed at the Laboratories.


That's a lorra, lorra fucking clever stuff right there: transistors, UNIX, C, C++, 56K modems, WiFi, transatlantic cables, VOIP ...

Think how much worse off we would all be if it hadn't been for all the geniuses at Bell Labs, and let's raise a glass in their memory ... and in the memory of a fantastic research organisation.

Quote of the picosecond ...

Real Blokes don't listen to Satnavs or female navigators. The difference is that satnavs don't gloat.


-- lola, here.

It's all a conspiracy, I tells ya!

Over at the aptly named "Liberal Conspiracy", Sunny Hundal froths at the mouth:

As its a slow news day, I might as well highlight this blog post at the Guido Fawkes blog. Paul Staines asks: ‘Is Brown bonkers?’, adding later on that:

It is low politics to hurl cheap abuse at opponents, but this is not borne of malice towards Brown, Guido feels like the boy who pointed at the naked emperor and said what everyone was too embarrassed to say.


Erm, yeah right. He’s as concerned about Brown’s sanity as I am about trainspotting. What Staines is doing, and what the political right excels at, is starting and constantly promoting malicious narratives. Their hope is that it becomes a talking point for the mainstream media and that is how he becomes framed. The Republicans in the United States have been great at this for decades.


One inch to the right of this, and two inches down, we have a comment on this story at the Liberal Conspiracy:

McCain: 'Off-balance and dangerous' by, er, Sunny Hundal.

Michael Tomasky is right, John McSame shouldn’t be near the US presidency.


Are you promoting a malicious narrative, Sunny?

Just asking is all.

Update: Just spotted "Boris: The gaffopedia" Clearly, no "malicious narrative" here! (Even though I think Boris is a bit of a disappointment, myself.)

Thursday, 28 August 2008

Midnight creeps so slowly into hearts

When the Righteous disagree...

I couldn't help but laugh at the concept of the twattish, up-his-own-righteous-arsehole, Sir Ian "I'm So Politically Correct, I Fart In Urdu" Blair, being sued for ageism, racism and Muslimism.

Sir Ian has rejected the claims against him and said he has a "long, honourable and occasionally blood-stained record on the championing of diversity".


It's so delightful to watch such a fervent campaigner for Righteousness being hoist on his own petard, being penalised for not doing enough of the things he wants us all to do.

Divide et impera, Ian! Enjoy your stay in that gibbet you've worked so hard to create!

Number Crunching

Number of deaths in 2007 caused by C. Diff. and MRSA by 1.5 million "health professionals" under state control: 4958

Number of deaths in 2007 caused by 35 million speeding (amateur) drivers: 980

Julie Moult is an idiot

It's not often I have a kind word for Bloggerheads, but they definitely earned a mention today.

Caption competition

... in all this confusion ...

Wednesday, 27 August 2008

To Protect and Serve

I'm ambivalent about this.

On balance, I'd have to say he had no business being a copper, though.

Look out behind you

On a lighter note

The scientists were unable to distinguish between the head and rear of the cattle, but could tell that the animals tended to face either north or south.


The man's a genius, I tells ya!

I apologise...

I didn't start this blog up to rag on the police (any more than anyone else, anyway!) but they just keep coming up with new ways to astonish me:

Police are investigating after the body of a newborn baby was found at a waste recycling plant.

Cambridgeshire Police said the death was being treated as suspicious.


You just can't fool those razor-sharp minds, can you?

£1000 an hour to catch speeders

Is this a good use of the precept?

MOTORISTS are being warned they could be caught speeding by a police helicopter armed with a radar detection device.


Brilliant. £1000 an hour of taxpayers' money to catch speeders. Fucking bargain. Like the TPA says:

The TaxPayers’ Alliance said the helicopter – at a cost of about £1,000 an hour to run – would be “a very expensive speed camera”. A spokesman added signs warning motorists of a helicopter was “possibly not the best way to encourage drivers to keep their eyes on the road”.


And where?

The signs are being trialled on the B184 from Ongar to Dunmow, the B1057 from Great Dunmow to Finchingfield and the B1012 Lower Burnham Road.


Or: three of the best roads in Essex for having an enjoyable drive.

Killjoy cunts.

Update: Via leg-iron, reflect upon this.

Cunt of the nanosecond

I fully support Jenna Delich's right to express her opinions, however odious they may be. However, she has no right to use legalistic bullying to shut down Harry's Place, even though they're a bunch of wankers that I never read.

So, Jenna, accept that the intermong is full of people who might disagree with you, and take that criticism with good grace.

Cunt.

The extended police family

There are days when I really struggle to find the words to express myself. Days when I wonder what has happened to this "green and pleasant land" and when the rage is overwhelming.

But today -- today is special. Today I have discovered something so contrary, so outrageous, so completely unspeakable, that I actually feel like I have wandered across a parallel dimension gateway, possibly in my sleep. Consider this:

Local government officials and private security workers have been given police powers to enforce on-the-spot fines for littering, dog fouling and motoring offences.

Despite lacking formal police training, hundreds of civilians have been made part of the "extended police family" by the Home Office under little-known legislation.

They have not been asked to wear any special uniforms to identify themselves, but must wear only a badge that can be as small as 73mm x 80mm.


I wonder if the badge looks like this:



The Home Office revealed yesterday that more than 1,600 non-police officers have been given enforcement powers under its so-called Community Safety Accreditation Schemes.

The schemes, introduced in 2002 legislation, give chief constables the power to serve penalty notices for activities including disorder, truancy, cycling on pavements, littering and dog fouling. They can also be used for seizing alcohol from under-age drinkers and to demand people's names and addresses.

The Home Office has carried out an audit of police use of the powers which showed that 23 police forces have Community Safety Accreditation Schemes in place.

A total of 1,406 staff from 95 "approved organizations" including local councils and private companies have been given enforcement powers.


Seriously, what is going on with the Home Office? Are they all mad? Who the fuck do they think they are? Who in his right mind would think that it's acceptable to create a load of unaccountable, undisciplined, uncontrolled fucking authoritarians who will never, ever abuse their powers, sure.

How many fucking people are there now who can stick their nose into your business? What happens if you tell one of these incognito busybodies to fuck off and mind his own fucking business? Are you going to wind up in jail?

Listen you cunts, Hitler was wrong, the Stasi was wrong, Stalin was wrong.

STOP FUCKING TRYING TO IMPROVE ON THEIR TOTALITARIANISM!

Could the Greens please make their fucking minds up?

Via the ASI, this (I know it's in the US, but you know the same thing is going to happen here) :

the greens are blocking the very transmission network needed for renewable electricity to move throughout the economy. The best sites for wind and solar energy happen to be in the sticks -- in the desert Southwest where sunlight is most intense for longest, or the plains where the wind blows most often. To exploit this energy, utilities need to build transmission lines to connect their electricity to the places where consumers actually live.


It seems obvious that you'd need to join the energy source to the consumer, doesn't it?

In California, hundreds turned out at the end of July to protest a connection between the solar and geothermal fields of the Imperial Valley to Los Angeles and Orange County. The environmental class is likewise lobbying state commissioners to kill a 150-mile link between San Diego and solar panels because it would entail a 20-mile jaunt through Anza-Borrego state park. "It's kind of schizophrenic behavior," Arnold Schwarzenegger said recently. "They say that we want renewable energy, but we don't want you to put it anywhere."


It gets better:

Wind power has also become contentious in oh-so-green Oregon, once people realized that transmission lines would cut through forests. Transmissions lines from a wind project on the Nevada-Idaho border are clogged because of possible effects on the greater sage grouse.


Fucking hell! Some trees and some sage grouse are more important than saving the planet! How the fuck does that work then? I suppose they want the transmission lines around all these critters and greenery, leading to even greater losses in the miniscule amounts of energy created.

In addition to other technical problems, the transmission gap is a big reason wind only provides two-thirds of 1% of electricity generated in the U.S., and solar one-tenth of 1%


So, that is three-quarters of 1% of US energy that is currently produced by "renewables", the greens themselves are fighting vital infrastructure and their target for renewable energy is ...? Well, Barack O'Blimey wants 10% across the whole nation by 2012. California has mandated 20% by 2010.

I predict a


Amusingly, it's the rugged, God-fearing and mostly Republican Texans who are doing the best at making use of green energy.

Texas is now the wind capital of America (though wind still generates only 3% of state electricity) because it streamlined the regulatory and legal snarls


Putting their legislative money where their mouth is.

By contrast, though Pennsylvania's Democratic Governor Ed Rendell adopted wind power as a main political plank, he and Senator Bob Casey are leading a charge to repeal a 2005 law that makes transmission lines slightly easier to build.


Amazing! "We'll create lots of 'clean' energy but we'll just leave it to rot."

the states, with the exception of Texas, didn't make transmission lines easier to build, though it won't prevent them from penalizing the power companies that fail to meet an impossible goal.


How very New Labour of them.

Tuesday, 26 August 2008

Baby's into runnin' around

Not tonight, Josephine! The Fingermen are outside!

Christ on a fucking trike!

The sex lives of council-tax payers are being secretly monitored by local authority inspectors to establish whether residents claiming single person’s discounts are really living alone.

Undercover snoopers are being used to find out how often lovers visit and whether supposedly single residents are sharing a bed every night with the same person.


Pardon?

Local authorities have adopted the techniques after the government urged them to carry out “spot checks” on properties where a single-person council-tax discount is claimed. Councils are also demanding that householders give access to their bedrooms in return for the single-person discount. Inspectors can use the searches to check bedrooms for evidence of live-in lovers not disclosed to the authorities.


I can barely breathe, I'm so angry. Who the cunting fuck do these fucking cunts think they are? Which fucking moron believes that this is a sane thing to be happening outside of a Soviet dictatorship? How did this happen in England, the home of freedom and tolerance?

Labour, take your moral bankruptcy, your totalitarianism and your corrupt incompetence and leave now. Now. Before people start taking direct action. Because you won't like the results.

(Sorry, hat tip due to leg-iron. I got so angry I forgot.)

The Indy: inhabiting an alternative reality since 1986

I kid you not:

The truth is simpler. Italians are fed up with governments that do nothing; that scrape into power in cynical coalitions, stick around just long enough to get some friends out of jail and give juicy contracts to the rest. They looked around Europe and saw Blair, Zapatero and Sarkozy promising big things, getting into power and then actually taking steps to fulfill these promises.


I'm sorry? What the fuck did Blair ever actually do in any kind of constructive fashion? Or is "pissing huge amounts of taxpayer money up the wall" and "starting a war" some kind of fucking achievement nowadays?

More on Derrick Campbell

Or should that be "moron Derrick Campbell"?

Via comments on Mark Wadsworth's blog, the woman on a raft shares a couple of interesting URLs (her tale is well worth a read):

Derrick chipping in about a blacked-up Cameron.

Derrick has his say about gay adoption.

Derrick has a rethink about his attitude towards gay adoption.

Did I call him an utter cunt? I was wrong. He's a hypocritical, utter cunt.

More Slavery Shite

Fuck. Via DK I see that the morally righteous and permanently indignant are fucking with education again to justify more professional victim cockwaffle make it clearer how much we owe slaves for enriching our lives.

As he says, I wonder if they will actually tell kids that
the nineteenth-century costs of suppression were bigger than the eighteenth-century profits

or that
it was costing financial capital – Britain did indeed pay heavily in ‘subsidies’ to other European countries to induce them to give up or at least curtail their trade in slaves; somewhat less to numerous chiefs on the African coast for the same purpose; vast sums to its own slave-owners in the West Indies to purchase the freedom of their slaves in 1833; more again to meet the costs of maintaining a squadron on the coast of Africa. It has been estimated that great as was the wealth generated by the slave trade in the half century before 1807, the costs of suppressing it added up to a similar sum:¹ “.. by any more reasonable assessment of profits and direct costs, the nineteenth-century costs of suppression were certainly bigger than the eighteenth-century benefits.” Above all, the campaign was costing the lives of British seamen: a sacrifice that might be worth making to put an end to the slave trade, but a sacrifice wasted if the only result was further suffering for many of the trade’s victims.


So ... Britain already paid hugely over the odds in both money and lives to end a trade that was common practice in the world for milennia before (and probably still goes on today to a much lesser degree in dark shadows.) Will our educators be trumpeting the great moral victory that our ancestors achieved? Will there be respect for the thousands of British seamen who died for the slaves? Will there be accolades for the vast sums of money paid to people from other countries to stop them slaving?

Or do you think that professional victims will be given a new base upon which to build a client base of further victims? Will this be a way of encouraging professional victims like Derrick Campbell to milk more "community cohesion funding" from us? Will there be Counselling Centres built in Sandwell for victims of slavery?

Shall we flip a coin, or do you want to hazard a guess?

Got a problem? Build a database!

Strangely, this has nothing to do with technology, really. It's more about knee-jerk reactions:

A flagship database intended to protect every child in the country will be used by police to hunt for evidence of crime in a "shocking" extension of its original purpose


I can't imagine why anyone is still shocked by scope creep from an "innocuous" or "helpful" government database. And why am I equally not surprised to see our glorious, Peelian police, protectors of our well-being and general all-round good eggs going forth on the path of policing by SQL. The useless cunts aren't interested in doing any physical work relating to the catching of criminals, from what I can see. I can only imagine that in ten years' time, the hottest crimefighters will be those guys who can really shake their SQL.

And the really cool thing? I suspect that ContactPoint is a dry run for proper policing by database with the ID Card database.

God help us all.

A Basic Requirement for a Libertarian Government: THINK!

The papers are full of this:

A stark warning that Britain’s worsening economy will cause “difficult social issues” heaped fresh pressure on Gordon Brown yesterday, as more members of his Government broke ranks to demand a windfall tax.

The Prime Minister faces the prospect of the resignation of at least one ministerial aide if he fails to impose a new levy on energy companies’ profits, The Times has learnt.


There are just so many things wrong with this, I can't be sure I'll get them all:

1. What did the government expect to happen to energy prices in their quest for green-ness? The whole idea of their green taxes are to make energy more expensive so that people use less of it. So why moan when the price goes up? What did they expect was going to happen?

2. The government has already already netted more than £1 billion in extra taxes due to the increase prices. It seems a bit fucking churlish to demand some more.

3. The windfall taxes will steal from the businesses' capacity for investment in other things that might help energy costs, such as research into alternative energy sources, exploratory drilling, etc., etc.

4. Windfall taxes damage business confidence overall. Why would I execute on this brilliant new business strategy when all it's going to do is wind up getting the arse taxed off it?

5. The "outrageous profits" are not really outrageous at all. As a Return on Investment percentage, they're pretty shit, really. It's only because there are so many consumers that the number looks big. The costs are commensurately eyewatering, indeed, more so.

6. The government already takes more tax out of the energy companies than the energy companies take profits. If it were at all possible, I'd be looking to move my business elsewhere, where the tax regime was sane.

I swear, these people really do seem to think there is never an unintended consequence and there is also an infinite supply of cash for their latest wizard wheeze. Bunch of wizard's sleeves, more like.

Monday, 25 August 2008

The voters have spoken, part 6

83 people voted on man-made climate change, 86.7% (72 people) think it's a load of crap, 2.4% (2 people) truly believe and 10.9% (9 people) don't care because they have bigger worries on their plate.

Good. Remember this when it comes to voting for the Green party, Green Labour, the equally Green Lib-Dems and the new Green Tories.

Sunday, 24 August 2008

Labour politicians say: "Die, black youths!"

Can you believe this?

Politicians are "leaving black youths to die" by cutting funding to community groups, an independent adviser to the Home Office has said.

Dr Derrick Campbell's comments follow what he said were three gang-related incidents - including two deaths - in the West Midlands in 24 hours.


What?

Dr Campbell told the BBC that funds earmarked for community cohesion were not going to the right organisations.


That's right, folks: guns don't kill people, people don't even kill people. It's a lack of funds for community cohesion going to organisations that Derrick Campbell approves of. Tell you what, Derrick, the community cohesion funds aren't going where I'd like them to go, either. I don't think there should even be such a thing as state funding for community cohesion, I think if it's that fucking important to the community, they can fucking pay for it themselves. I can't think of any reason why a farmer in Dorset or a legal secretary in Cumbria should be giving part of their salary to fund cohesion in a community they've never set foot in, either.

About halfway through reading this article, I had a sudden flash of intuition. There's a hint of the Archbishop of Canterbury about this guy. So I went off and had look on google. And yep: he's a bearded twat. And a Christian minister.

Well, Derrick, I have to say, I struggle a bit with all this community cohesion cockwaffle. I grew up in relatively impoverished household. My father was a travelling salesman and consequently absent for most of my youth. We weren't rich, we struggled to get by. I started working part time when I was 16. But I didn't dare drop out of school. I finished school with adequate grades because my mother would have killed me if I didn't.

No-one was giving us any "community cohesion" funding. My friends and I roamed the streets like feral animals from the age of five, but somehow we managed to get by without tagging, shanking, fucking, getting stoned, happy slapping, gangs, shooting or any of the other things that community cohesion funding saves us from. And I did my homework every day, too, because you'd better believe my mother would have beaten six kinds of shit out of me if I didn't.

Do you know what, Derrick? I actually think you're more of the problem than the solution. You're so keen to keep people trading on their victim status that allows them to stroke your ego with praise for all the "good things" that you do for community cohesion. I think you like to find examples of cuntish people (and we'll never be rid of cuntish people, trust me!) because you like to be able to justify your continued self-aggrandizement, the ego-stroking you receive from getting in the papers and being an adviser to the Home Orifice and possibly even your salary as a "community cohesion advisor".

Next time, when someone comes and bitches to you about racial abuse, why not point out that the world is a hard place and that it's better for you to prove some racist cunt wrong by going out there and making something of your life. Taking money from other people to fund your bitching does nothing to racists except justify their hatred in their minds.

And instead of kowtowing to little cunts who "need" community cohesion facilities or they'll go off the rails, why don't you give them a clip round the ear and tell them to go play quietly in the back room? That's all we got, and no-one I know has ever tagged, shanked, shot, or whatever. It seemed to work for us. But then, even though we were "disadvantaged" and "impoverished" and "suffering from inequality", we had far too much pride to wallow in our status and use it for an excuse for not making something of our own lives.

Stop encouraging people to have a victim status. Stop making people dependent on handouts. Stop making people shirk responsibility for their actions. Stop denying people from fulfilling their potential, especially from doing so entirely on their own steam. And stop making a fucking living off of it.

In short, Derrick: stop being an utter cunt.

Update: Perhaps you wondered what Derrick Campbell looks like?



Hat tip to Burning our Money

Do you believe in what you see?

Myra Hindley Causes Olympic Offence

Sigh. More professional "offence":

Downing Street and the mayor of London have condemned the use of a portrait of murderer Myra Hindley in a video shown at a London 2012 event in Beijing.

Marcus Harvey's portrait of Hindley was one of a number of pieces of art seen in the footage filmed in a gallery.

A Downing Street spokesman said: "The use of this image is in extremely poor taste and it should not have been used to promote London."

A spokesman for Mr Johnson said: "The mayor is deeply concerned by the realisation that a shot of Myra Hindley was shown in a short video at London House and asked that it not be shown again."

The Liberal Democrats described the decision to include the image in the video as a "regrettable choice".

The party's Olympics spokesman Tom Brake said: "Of all the many masterpieces that could have been used this was the most regrettable and the least inspired choice."

Conservative MP Ann Widdecombe told the BBC she was shocked by the use of the image.


However, Visit London said:
There has never been a complaint made about the video up until this point.


Christ, more professional "offence-takers" in action. Jumped-up cockmunchers to a fucking man.

Did any of these fucking cunts bother to check what was in the cunting video before letting it loose on a fragile world (that couldn't possibly cope without a government busybody telling them that they're not going to die if they see a cunting painting of a woman, for the fucking sake of fucking fuck!?) If they didn't check the video before shipping it out to Beijing, what the fuck does that say about them?

And if they already had the fucking video, which wasn't even specially commissioned for this, what fucking cunting fucking fuck did they spend £2.5 million on?

I'm sad to say that Boris is turning out to be different to Ken, but absolutely no fucking better.

And something I really did not enjoy reading was this:
"However, if any offence has been caused, we will withdraw it from use with immediate effect."


I think it's time to start using this fucking bansturbation craze. I think we should all find something about Boris that offends us and start writing to the Evening Standard to complain and seeing if we can get him banned, piece by piece. And then, I think, we need to start working on Government as a whole. Get the whole fucking business of government banned, piece by piece. And then the EU can take a flying fuck as well.

Fucking, fucking, fucking, FUCKING CUNTS!!!!

Saturday, 23 August 2008

Whole lotta shite

Via the leg-iron, I see this:

It has been delighting fans for almost 40 years but Led Zeppelin's rock classic "Whole Lotta Love" has been deemed too racy by Olympics organisers.

After choosing the song for the closing ceremony on Sunday they decided that some of the lyrics would have to be omitted or re-written amid concerns that they could cause offence.


Cause offence? Cause offence? For the fucking love of Jesus H. Fucking Christ the cunting song has been out there for nearly 40 fucking cunting Jesus-fucking years. If it was going to fucking cause offense it would almost certainly have done so by now.

The song was chosen as the centrepiece of an eight-minute £2.5million British segment at the event in Beijing at which the Olympic flag will be officially passed to the London Mayor Boris Johnson.


I'm sorry? Did you say TWO AND A HALF MILLION BRITISH POUNDS FOR EIGHT MINUTES? FIVE THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED AND EIGHT POUNDS A SECOND???????????

What the fucking fuck are you fucking doing with our money, BoJo?

Organisers of the London 2012 Games commissioned the band's guitarist Jimmy Page to record a new version of the song to be performed on top of a special red double-decker bus accompanied by Leona Lewis, winner of the ITV reality television show The X Factor, with David Beckham looking on.


Just savour that concept again. Smell its glory.

...to be performed on top of a special red double-decker bus

accompanied by Leona Lewis, winner of the ITV reality television show The X Factor,

with David Beckham looking on.


Jesus. With David Beckham looking on. That's everything wrong with this cuntry [sic], right there.

But, according to London 2012 officials, Lewis - who grew up in east London close to the Olympic site - requested a change to the song's second verse because she was worried they would not make sense for a female singer.


£2.5 million. Eight minutes. David Beckham. Jumped-up fucking useless talentless nonentity tells master of classic rock to screw up his song.

Leona Lewis, help yourself to a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut. Boris, you fucking too, you moron.

Blogging will be erratic this weekend

My new friend, Mr Ogilvy (who for some reason insists on me calling him "comrade") is taking me to see the brill new Britishness festival in town over the bank holiday weekend.

Apparently there will be some fantastic speeches from Liam Byrne that will lead to progressive trance (or possibly, "a progressive's trance", I can't remember which) and there will be lots of cultural celebrations.

Mr Ogilvy seems like a sensible sort, and I hope to interest him in joining me for a piano wire and lamp-post party towards the back end of the weekend.

Have fun!

Friday, 22 August 2008

The (very) dead hand of government

One of the few places I think state intervention is required is in the matter of road-building and maintenance. It's not practical, in my opinion, to have privately funded toll-roads linking everything together. On the other hand, I do think it's entirely possible to have private toll roads that offer faster-flowing main routes with less traffic. But in general, the state needs to provide people a decent, well-maintained road network.

But now, I'm not so sure:

The proposed bypass will address the issues within the villages by removing a significant volume of traffic from the existing route.

Following earlier investigations to provide a bypass, the scheme was restored to the road programme in 1989 and following a public consultation process a preferred route was selected in October 1993. After subsequent reviews by the government work was suspended in 1996. In July 1998 the new government published the results of its own review in “A New Deal for Trunk Roads” and included the bypass as a scheme to be progressed through the preparatory stages.

The Highways Agency’s submission to the Regional Planning bodies (North West, East Midlands, Yorkshire and Humberside) in November 2002 concluded that there were no realistic alternatives to a bypass of the villages to solve the problems that existed. In April 2003 the bypass entered the Targetted Programme of Improvements (TPI) - this is now known as the Programme of Major Schemes.

As a bypass proposal in isolation could also have the effect of increasing the attractiveness of the whole route, proposals are also being put in place to discourage road users switching to the A57/A628/A616 corridor from other cross - Pennine routes. This is to provide an equitable balance between the problems in the villages and the impacts of traffic on the Peak District National Park.



Right ... so let me get this straight: they've been fucking about with this since long before 1989, and they still haven't done ANYTHING? The only thing they have done is agree that "there were no realistic alternatives to a bypass of the villages to solve the problems that existed". Got that?

To find out about what happens next for this scheme, please see the What Happens Next page.


Well, fuck me, let's see what happens next then?

The public and other interested organisations were allowed a period of 13 weeks until 5th May 2006 to express their support, comment on, or object to the proposals. A large number of people have written in with their views and each person or organisation expressing a written view will receive a full response to the points that they have raised.

The Government has, for the first time, given regions a say in decision-making about transport schemes that affect them at regional and local levels. The Mottram to Tintwistle Bypass is one of those schemes that is considered at a regional level. The North West Regional Assembly presented advice to Ministers in January 2006 and provided a revised sequencing of priority schemes in June 2006. On 6th July 2006 The Secretary of State for Transport responded to this advice and confirmed that funding provision should be made for the A628 Mottram –Hollingworth-Tintwistle bypass beyond 2010/11.


Er, what? They decided in 2006 that they'd provide funding some time after 2010? After the next election, then? Hmmm. But wait, what's this?

[A] Public Inquiry commenced at 10 am on 26 June at Stalybridge Civic Hall, Trinity Street, Stalybridge, Cheshire, SK15 2BN.

After the discovery of a number of inconsistencies within the traffic forecasts prepared by the Highways Agency’s consultants the Public Inquiry was adjourned. The further discovery of more inconsistencies led to a number of further adjournments. Following the discovery of the anomalies a comprehensive set of checks has been carried out on the network representing the scheme. Further details of what these checks revealed can be found by referring to HA document reference HA/73. This document is available by following the link for the External Public Inquiry website found under the publications page of this scheme. Once into the Public Inquiry website the document can be found by following the link available in the news update for 4 December 2007. These findings mean that an adjustment is required to the traffic model.

Whilst carrying out the corrections to the traffic model it has been decided to incorporate an updated version of TEMPRO,version 5.3 which was issued in October 2006 and to incorporate revised National Traffic Model growth information which was issued in October 2007. Work is progressing on the production of revised traffic forecasts which will incorporate these two changes.

As a result of the above issues all documents submitted as part of the September 2007 revision no longer have any relevance and should be disregarded. The Highways Agency intend to revise the original Proofs of Evidence, Environmental Statement and other documents. It is expected that the information will not be available until after Easter 2008. This is because the traffic forecasts upon which much of the evidence is based will not be finalised until early 2008.


Oh well, I'm sure it will all be sorted out in time, because they're planning to open the bypasses in 2015.

Or perhaps not:

Following the Inquiry the Inspector will produce a report making a recommendation based on the evidence presented by the Highways Agency, the objectors, the supporters and anybody who has made a representation during the Inquiry.

The decision whether to proceed with the scheme will be taken after the Secretary of State for Transport has considered the Inspector’s Report.


To say I'm astonished is an understatement. These people have been waiting for a bypass probably since before I was born, they've been told they're getting it, then not, then they are, and now it seems, they're not. Even though it was agreed that "there were no realistic alternatives to a bypass of the villages to solve the problems that existed".

What the fuck do these people do all day long? Why is it so difficult to make a decision about this? What the fuck is going on? It sounds to me very much like "we don't have money for this, even though we need to do it, so let's keep postponing it."

But if you have £2.7 billion for election bribes, why can't these poor people have their bypass? I'm too scared to look at the rest of the website, because I've got no beta blockers to hand.

Another day, another government data loss

Sigh.

In a major coup in the government data loss stakes PA Consulting - which until Monday was one of the Home Office's favourite consulting outfits - has contrived to lose the entire prison population of England and Wales. Personal details of the 84,000 people behind bars, along with those of 10,000 prolific offenders, have vanished on a memory stick, it was revealed last night.

It's by no means the biggest of government data losses, but it shows style. Historically the prison service hasn't found it particularly easy to tally up precisely who they've got and where they are - leading to bizarre cases where we've been told that escaped prisoners might have been recaptured, but they can't be sure - so it's an achievement to get them all in the one place and then mislay them. And as it's actually the Ministry of Justice that runs the prison service these days, it wasn't even the Home Office's data, really.


If it wasn't even their data, what the fuck were they doing with it? What the fuck is this government doing, pushing ID cards when they can't even manage the simplest of databases?

And there was this little gem tucked away in another report:

The data on the stick also includes information from the Police National Computer of some 30,000 people with six or more convictions in the last year.


I'm sorry? Six or more convictions in a single year??????? Surely those 30000 people just need locking up on some remote Scottish island for the rest of their lives? What the fuck is going on with the CPS and our wonderful judiciary?

(Yes, I know it's not a very Libertarian thing to say, but FFS!)

I don't know what to make of this

I'm an only child, and I can't say how I'd react to discovering I had a young half-brother, especially not one who was half a world away from me, living in poverty and savagery. But I'm pretty sure I'd at least slip the man a couple of quid a month, if doing so tripled his take-home pay. I'm not even loaded, like an American senator and presidential candidate is.

I realise that we are not our brothers' keepers, but I think this reflects very poorly indeed on Obama. The man is your own flesh and blood, you callous fuck -- why not give him some hope?

Thursday, 21 August 2008

Utterly depressing

These two are, as far as I can tell, actual police officers:



That is a pretty shocking indictment of the training and knowledge of these two incompetents.

These two are plastic policemen:



Watch this one to the end and see if you can suss out why he got harrassed.

It's a fucking disgrace. And they wonder why people don't respect them and support them.

Hat tip to the Bearded Clam.

Update: Can it go downhill from there? Well, yes.

The Great British Weekend

Well, I have to say, hats off to the government today. On a day when I've been bludgeoned with so much state-sanctioned stupidity, when I really didn't want to even think about anything politically-oriented for at least another 24 hours, The Graundia and Liam Byrne have stepped in to make me see sense:

The August bank holiday could be turned into a "Great British weekend" that would allow people permission to celebrate everything they like about the country, and help frame the "progressive case for controlled immigration".


You what?

I'm sorry, that didn't make any sense at all, let me read it again:

The August bank holiday could be turned into a "Great British weekend" that would allow people permission to celebrate everything they like about the country, and help frame the "progressive case for controlled immigration".


You know, I'm sure my eyes must be deceiving me. I could swear that that intent of the above paragraph was to tell me that I was being given permission to celebrate everything I like about the country. How can that be? Do I really need the permission of some fuckwitted spunkbubble called Liam Byrne to celebrate what I like about this country? Tell you what, Liam, the thing I really like about this country is the way there are Immigration ministers swinging from the fucking lamp-posts in Westminster. So I have your permission to celebrate that, do I?

Odious cunt.

And what's with this fucking "progressive case for controlled immigration"? That sounds suspiciously to me like "left-wing dullards who don't have border control are looking for a way of spinning it as a good thing". Please tell me I'm wrong.

In a speech today Liam Byrne, the immigration minister, will set out the proposals drawing on Home Office research which shows public support for a Britishness day running at two to one.


Who did the fucking Home Office interview? A bunch of goat-felching "progressives" in the Immigration department, perchance?

Liam, a word to the wise mate: stop now and slink off into the dark quietly, and maybe, just maybe, you won't end up like this:


Although I wouldn't count on it.

Taking it up the Gary...

People are writing in defence of Gary Glitter, which I have to say is a good thing, because there has been a lot of reactionary abuse from the usual suspects and some from people I think ought to know better.

Anyway:

With impeccably spun timing, while Gary Glitter hunkered down at Bangkok airport to avoid police interrogation at Heathrow, Jacqui Smith, the Home Secretary, took to the airwaves yesterday to announce new initiatives to prevent paedophiles from travelling as “sex tourists”. Snatch their passports, she cried. Ground them for five years. Nail their filthy feet to the floor.

Her plans, no doubt, resonated with public opinion. In announcing them, however, she reinforced a largely unacknowledged muddle at the heart of all debate on the subject of paedophilia: is it an illness, or is it a crime?


Indeed ... the timing was immaculate, wasn't it? And which politician is going to want to stand up in front of a baying crowd and not milk it for all its worth? Which politician is not going to encourage the baying?

At the moment, galvanised by the desire to be as punitive as possible, we mix and match. When it suits us to invoke the idea of uncontrollable urges, we do exactly that - look how readily the tabloid press appends “sick!” to any mention of child abuse. On the other hand, when it suits us to argue for the throwing away of keys, as befits any rotten but otherwise common criminal, we do that instead. The truth is, it's time to choose.

If we accept that paedophilia is an illness - and there are reasoned voices who say that it is - then, by definition, we accept it as being beyond the control of its sufferer in exactly the way that we accept schizophrenia. Therefore, we should respond as such: if a man, for reasons not remotely his fault, is posing a risk to others, he should be subject to sectioning under the Mental Health Act, with all the appropriate regret, sympathy and kindness that accompanies such a move. Given the grip of the current bogeyman frenzy, it is hard to see that one playing in Peoria; nevertheless, it would be the only humane response.


I don't know if it's an illness. Sexuality is such a bizarre thing anyway, what with blood-queening, watersports, two girls one cup, anal fisting, asphyxia, etc., etc. All these things have passed me by, leaving me with a mild state of bemusement. But people want to do all these things. You might as well call homosexuals "ill" just because they deviate from the norm -- whatever the fuck "the norm" actually is.

My guess (I am not a sexologist or anything) is that it's just another proclivity but the key thing is that current Western society insists that it's one that we consider unacceptable. So I guess, after all, that "illness" might be a reasonable shorthand for "something that's not your fault but we can't let you loose in society because it has a high risk of causing actual harm or doing something that we consider unacceptable". (You'll see why I chose the last bit in a moment.)

Take, for instance, a man who had sexual intercourse with a 14-year-old girl or boy. If caught, and especially if force were involved, he would expect a severe sentence - at the end of which, he would emerge into the light of day and have his every movement monitored for the rest of his natural life. And so what, you say, shedding not a tear.

Quite so. But if that same man had broken every bone in that same 14-year-old child's body, he would similarly expect a severe sentence - at the end of which the prison gates would slam behind him and he would be totally free.


On the other hand, what do you do with the uncivilised Spanish, who feel that girls of 13 are fair (and legal!) game? Or the Portuguese who feel that 14 is OK? The nasty French are cool with 15. So those are three countries on our doorstep with long, rich histories as part of the fabric of Western society that are effectively nations full of potential paedophiles by our standards of paedophilia. Conversely, there are some countries that consider Brits to be a nation of child-molesting nonces because they regard children under 18 as taboo -- how does that make you feel?

It's a very, very confusing situation. And it's not made any simpler by people who want to have penetrative sex with toddlers who are still in nappies. Where do you draw the line? At what point do we cross over from being "kinky" to being "sick" or even "criminal"? I find the idea of sex with a two-year-old disturbing, disgusting and repellent; I also find the idea of anal fisting disturbing, disgusting and repellent. But going into google and searching for anal fisting gives over 3 million hits, many of which appear to be sites where people can voluntarily part with their hard-earned to watch anal fisting. How fucking weird is that?

If we accept that it is a crime, however, then it is something which the perpetrator can control. He may choose to offend or not, and if he chooses what is unacceptable, again we should respond as such. We catch the bastard, try him, lock him up by way of penalty and then - this is the crucial bit - once he has served his sentence we restore his liberty. In full.

This has been the fundamental principle of justice, at least within crime and punishment, that has stood us in reasonable stead since Magna Carta. Now, just because one particular category of behaviour is exciting public consciousness - pressing, as it does, all the right buttons such as “sex” and “children” - is collective gut revulsion really enough to challenge copper-bottomed, tried, tested and trusted legal tradition?


This I do agree with: society has decided that pederasty is a crime, and he's done his time, and been a model prisoner, getting an early release for his troubles. Something which would ordinarily be very happy about in a prisoner.

So, until he does something else (if he does something else) leave him be. (And if he does do something else, for fuck's sake, don't give him a fucking ASBO or a community service sentence. Put the cunt in jail.) If it's going to be treated on a criminal basis, then treat it properly. Don't create a special kind of criminal bogeyman that you can bully, while real criminal bogeymen piss on you with impunity.

I can't help but feel, as I have blogged before, that this is another case of the government whipping up moral fervour to introduce legislation against a small minority of "clearly" beyond the pale people, which same it can then use against other small minorities of beyond the pale people, and so on, until gradually more people are monitored and constrained and forbidden from travelling and so on and so on.

And if they don't have a beyond the pale minority they can pick on, by God they'll create one.


Update: while I've been trying to scrape this into some sort of coherence, Devil's Kitchen has let rip in a similar vein.

Update 2: And leg-iron ... it's the Terrible Thing...