Informix job in India.
Ardenta are still looking.
Upgrade webcast due soon.
Sunday, 30 November 2008
A useful idiot
The police chief who ordered the raid on Damian Green's home played a key role in trying to help the Home Secretary force through the plan to detain terror suspects for 42 days without charge.
Robert Quick, the head of the Met's anti-terrorist unit, sent nine of his officers to arrest the Tory MP.
Earlier this year, Mr Quick was vocal in his support for Jacqui Smith following claims that her ill-fated plans for 42-day detention would not help the 'war on terror'.
This chappie sounds like a pretty nasty piece of work, prepared to suck the pink pole of totalitarianism in exchange for bigger boots to jump up and down on us.
I'm not sure I'd piss on him if he was on fire.
Jacqui "Tits" Smith: Body language of a liar and a knave
Baby P Review
I get the distinct impression from Lynne Featherstone that there is nothing unexpected in the Baby P review that Ed Bollocks wants to hide from us. My guess is government incompetence, council fuckwittery and arse covering, Shoesmith's head deserves to roll and embarrassment for Labour.
I wonder if Lynne will be getting a visit from the anti-terror rozzers next?
I wonder if Lynne will be getting a visit from the anti-terror rozzers next?
It's all OK folks ...
... it's perfectly fine to arrest opposition MPs, because:
Kerry, I look forward to the day when David Cameron's iteration of the Stasi arrest you for doing your job (if you ever do!) Because you deserve to be chucked in the slammer for a decade for such an arrogant dismissal of a fellow human being, let alone a fellow parliamentarian.
And the fact that you are "hardly Aung San Suu Kyi" will make it all better for you.
Hat tip to Liam H.
Damian Green is hardly Aung San Suu Kyi.
Kerry, I look forward to the day when David Cameron's iteration of the Stasi arrest you for doing your job (if you ever do!) Because you deserve to be chucked in the slammer for a decade for such an arrogant dismissal of a fellow human being, let alone a fellow parliamentarian.
And the fact that you are "hardly Aung San Suu Kyi" will make it all better for you.
Hat tip to Liam H.
The name of the mole?
So, who knows the name of the 26-year-old who is being detained off the radar by ZNL's wonderful Stasi?
It would be nice to build a memorial to him one day when this is all over.
Update: Chris Galley: a man who stood up to the deceit and mendacity of ZaNu Labour. I will raise a glass in his honour.
And a tip of the hat to Guido for this video of another shadow cabinet minister proudly claiming to procure misconduct in public office:
It would be nice to build a memorial to him one day when this is all over.
Update: Chris Galley: a man who stood up to the deceit and mendacity of ZaNu Labour. I will raise a glass in his honour.
And a tip of the hat to Guido for this video of another shadow cabinet minister proudly claiming to procure misconduct in public office:
In other news ...
... Gorgon Brownshirt has his fingers in the till:
How long until someone else has their collar felt by a posse of anti-terror police?
The Sunday Times is reporting that the Electoral Commission is to investigate whether, in breach of electoral law, Ed Balls continued working for Gordon Brown while on the payroll of the Smith Institute charity before becoming an MP.
How long until someone else has their collar felt by a posse of anti-terror police?
Saturday, 29 November 2008
Informix Roundup: 29 Nov 2008
In praise of InfORmix (see what I did there?) in CAD/CAM.
SQL Performance Tuning ... perhaps not the warmest review.
Proof that automated selling isn't always a useful idea.
Migrate your 4GL to Java or .NET. Allegedly.
SQL Performance Tuning ... perhaps not the warmest review.
Proof that automated selling isn't always a useful idea.
Migrate your 4GL to Java or .NET. Allegedly.
Still a bit stunned
Apologies for the lack of blogging, but I'm still a bit discombobulated by the fact that the ZNL Stasi feel confident enough to arrest a sitting MP on such a ludicrous, trumped-up charge. I'm surprised by the mendacity expressed by Gorgon and Jacq the Ripper in denying all knowledge of this, and I'm slightly taken aback by the hypocrisy of Gorgon ordering this little putsch-ette, given that he established his own reputation off the back of a series of leaks.
But I hope that a number of the 646 residents of the Westminster home for the terminally bewildered have now realised why they got a copy of 1984. Because no-one is safe anymore. That much is clear.
Mr Creedy is feeling bolder.
But I hope that a number of the 646 residents of the Westminster home for the terminally bewildered have now realised why they got a copy of 1984. Because no-one is safe anymore. That much is clear.
Mr Creedy is feeling bolder.
Obama starts a new Kennedy-esque space era
We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too.
Or perhaps not:
U.S. President-elect Barack Obama's NASA transition team is asking U.S. space agency officials to quantify how much money could be saved by canceling the Ares 1 rocket and scaling back the Orion Crew Exploration Vehicle next year.
Obama pledged during his campaign to inject an additional $2 billion into NASA aimed in part at narrowing the gap between the space shuttle's retirement and the introduction of a successor system.
And so it begins ...
The other part of the Damian Green scandal
Bad enough that the motherfuckers arrested a sitting MP for doing his job, but what about the "leaker" that was also arrested on ludicrous trumped-up charges and is now being "being looked after in a secret location because the Home Office owes him a duty of care". Dude, WTF?
I've got a fiver here that says he's going to meet some unfortunate and unlikely accident, thanks to this "duty of care". Or possibly "commit suicide."
I mean, it's not like the Home Office could possibly get themselves into any deeper shit if he was to go public, huh? I wonder if they're waterboarding the poor cunt before dropping him off in the woods with a penknife.
Jesus, this country has turned from a pile of shit into a fascist hell-hole in no time at all.
Update: Old Holborn has another eye-popper. Civilian security forces?
What. The. Fuck?
I've got a fiver here that says he's going to meet some unfortunate and unlikely accident, thanks to this "duty of care". Or possibly "commit suicide."
I mean, it's not like the Home Office could possibly get themselves into any deeper shit if he was to go public, huh? I wonder if they're waterboarding the poor cunt before dropping him off in the woods with a penknife.
Jesus, this country has turned from a pile of shit into a fascist hell-hole in no time at all.
Update: Old Holborn has another eye-popper. Civilian security forces?
What. The. Fuck?
Bollocks
Talking out of the arse:
Bullshit. Vendors have been saying for decades that there's a lot of information out there and offered solutions with various degrees of "comprehensiveness" (is there such a word) ... cunts just haven't been buying them.
Stop playing the "poor hard-done-by luser" card, you mong.
Are you frustrated with how difficult it can be to find information? What makes this more irksome is that the vendor community seems to have just woken up to the fact that there's a lot of information 'out there' to manage. Translated, this means that some of the larger vendors have recently got their act together with information management solutions (IMS) technology. The rest of the world has dealt with the challenge since time immemorial.
Bullshit. Vendors have been saying for decades that there's a lot of information out there and offered solutions with various degrees of "comprehensiveness" (is there such a word) ... cunts just haven't been buying them.
Stop playing the "poor hard-done-by luser" card, you mong.
Friday, 28 November 2008
Damian Green, continued
I'm still in a state of shock that they actually had the temerity to arrest an opposition MP for exposing government lies. As Danny Finkelstein says, it's pretty hypocritical of them. And John Redwood points out a couple of other leaks that might be worth following up, because they caused real damage.
Everyone is denying responsibility, my money is on "Tits" and that mongtard fuckmonkey Blair. Dangerous pair of cunts, those to.
Everyone is denying responsibility, my money is on "Tits" and that mongtard fuckmonkey Blair. Dangerous pair of cunts, those to.
The wonderful Metropolitan Police
Here:
I've been saying for years now that the police are more interested in protecting the state than protecting the individual. And the Big Mac agrees:
Scrap the whole fucking lot and start again, please!
Update: From the Telegraph:
Happy coincidence, huh? No way that this wasn't coordinated by the spawn of Mandelsnake.
Update 2: Carswell and Blaney are outraged. Guido thinks Gorgon is behaving just like Syphilis Bob. Personally, I detect the heavy hand of "Tits" in this.
Update 3: Dizzy doesn't believe the government line. Mrs Dale has a detailed analysis. RedBox talks about the pernicious laws used for this egregious attack on the body politic.
The news that Tory Immigration spokesman Damian Green has been arrested by the Metropolian Police and held on suspicion of "conspiring to commit misconduct in a public office" shows that the Metropolitan Police have lost all sense of both their own role, and the role of politicians.
I've been saying for years now that the police are more interested in protecting the state than protecting the individual. And the Big Mac agrees:
Machiavelli finds it absolutely astonishing that the police should have acted is such a cavalier, heavy-handed, high-handed, partisan manner. Sell peerages for party donations? Be my guest. Take over £100,000 in illegal donations during the Labour deputy leadership campaign? Well... maybe we won't prosecute. Invade other peoples' countries on a false prospectus? What can we do to help?
It seems that, under the leadership of Ian Blair, the Metropolitan Police have lost all sense of their proper responsibilities and of their impartial, non-partisan role. They have become the law enforcement wing of the Labour Party.
Update: News reaches Machiavelli that yesterday evening a 67 year old woman in Essex Road, Hackney, was arrested by police and held on suspicion of obstructing a public highway. It is understood that the woman was a Lollypop Lady.
Scrap the whole fucking lot and start again, please!
Update: From the Telegraph:
Tory sources angrily pointed out that the police move came after Parliament rose for a five-day holiday.
Had the Commons been sitting, they said, MPs could have immediately raised the matter with the Speaker.
The police search of Mr Green's office had to be authorised by the Serjeant at Arms, who answers to the Speaker.
Happy coincidence, huh? No way that this wasn't coordinated by the spawn of Mandelsnake.
Update 2: Carswell and Blaney are outraged. Guido thinks Gorgon is behaving just like Syphilis Bob. Personally, I detect the heavy hand of "Tits" in this.
Update 3: Dizzy doesn't believe the government line. Mrs Dale has a detailed analysis. RedBox talks about the pernicious laws used for this egregious attack on the body politic.
Thursday, 27 November 2008
The best bit is...
Quentin Letts:
Fantastic.
Oh, and that "best bit"? You are paying extra, specifically for this behaviour, out of your tax money.
Guido has more.
George Osborne, Shadow Chancellor, tried to make a speech. It is possible he gave a good speech, or an indifferent speech, or maybe a truly awful speech.
Much of it, alas, was inaudible, such was the shrieking from Labour.
An astonishing 17 members of the Government Whips' Office rushed in as Mr Osborne started speaking, to mix with Labour backbenchers and give an impression of widespread outrage.
The way they appeared from nowhere it was as though someone had just lifted a manhole cover and so many sewer mice had come scampering into the cockpit of democracy.
I have noted before the rising tendency of these state-paid Whips (they receive ministerial salaries which place them comfortably in the current top-rate tax bracket) to pack the Labour benches when a Tory is speaking. Never has it been so bad or obvious.
Whips traditionally kept silent in the Chamber. Under the leadership of Gordon Brown - the same Gordon Brown who poses as a defender of Parliament and who claims to want to hear the Tories make their case - this custom has been trashed.
The Whips are now rent-a-gob.
Today a twitchy little man called Lucas, one of the Whips' number, stood by the double doors heckling Mr Osborne like a football hooligan.
The place where Mr Lucas was standing was not officially part of the Commons playing-field.
A moment later he stepped over the red line on the carpet and strode to a seat.
So it can be said legitimately that a servant of the Crown entered the Commons bawling abuse, like a drunk entering a Wild West saloon.
Fantastic.
Oh, and that "best bit"? You are paying extra, specifically for this behaviour, out of your tax money.
Guido has more.
Unintended consequences
Remind me again about this safety net thing?
I accept that this is an unusually cynical chap, but really, does anyone believe this is the only case where people have cynically had kids to get their hands on dosh or housing? I've been horrified at the number of dole-scroungers I've met who seriously believe that it's a career option, and when they show me the numbers, they're right! You have to do pretty damn well to get a better lifestyle than "the social" will fund for you. And given that the state does everything in its power to dumb you down and park your brain in neutral, why wouldn't you succumb to the blandishments of a life on the dole.
Fuck it. Pull the plug on the whole thing. Make individual people accountable for their actions and they won't be so tolerant of the government's incompetence. "Social justice" doesn't work, and no amount of banging on about "raising children out of poverty" and other mental masturbation will undo the horrors foisted on these kids, Baby P, Victoria Climbie, and the unsung, invisible hordes of feral, ignored and unloved kids who we generally despise and / or fear when we see them heading towards us in a large group. Sure, some of them were never going to be anything other than vicious, feral cunts. But a most of them could have turned out better if they weren't simply a necessary evil for their parents.
Fuck the welfare state.
The 56-year-old fathered nine children by the girls in order to support his lifestyle, his relative said. He once offered his younger daughter £500 to have another child in order to boost his income through benefits and tax credits, she said.
"He would always have a roll of £20 notes but everyone knew he had never worked a day in his life," the sister-in-law said.
"He claimed to have a bad back but tended an allotment and built huts in his garden. He obviously thought the bundles of benefits he was getting for the children was worth the risk and was not bothered about any pain it caused them."
I accept that this is an unusually cynical chap, but really, does anyone believe this is the only case where people have cynically had kids to get their hands on dosh or housing? I've been horrified at the number of dole-scroungers I've met who seriously believe that it's a career option, and when they show me the numbers, they're right! You have to do pretty damn well to get a better lifestyle than "the social" will fund for you. And given that the state does everything in its power to dumb you down and park your brain in neutral, why wouldn't you succumb to the blandishments of a life on the dole.
Fuck it. Pull the plug on the whole thing. Make individual people accountable for their actions and they won't be so tolerant of the government's incompetence. "Social justice" doesn't work, and no amount of banging on about "raising children out of poverty" and other mental masturbation will undo the horrors foisted on these kids, Baby P, Victoria Climbie, and the unsung, invisible hordes of feral, ignored and unloved kids who we generally despise and / or fear when we see them heading towards us in a large group. Sure, some of them were never going to be anything other than vicious, feral cunts. But a most of them could have turned out better if they weren't simply a necessary evil for their parents.
Fuck the welfare state.
Wednesday, 26 November 2008
Welcome back Old Labour
[The Treasury Department's] forecasting record could not be less impressive had it employed a team of gibbons to throw darts at Old Moore's Almanack.
Jeff Randall lets go with both barrels.
Informix Roundup: 26 Nov 2008
Permanent DBA job.
3 month DBA contract.
Another ex-Informixer makes the news.
Books 24x7 has Carlton's new book online.
Data Modeling with Rational Data Architect.
3 month DBA contract.
Another ex-Informixer makes the news.
Books 24x7 has Carlton's new book online.
Data Modeling with Rational Data Architect.
There's nowt so queer as folk!
So, survey results are in. I'm seriously impressed. Thinking of Anne Widdicombe in mid stroke would probably wilt me completely, so hats off to the 20% of you who chose her as a mild passion-killer.
Only 10% felt that Tessa's Jowls would do the job, which was my choice.
Unlike the 10% of you who thought "Tits" would put you off your stroke, I could imagine having a lot of fun with her, a ball gag and some Rohypnol; I disagree in a similar vein with the majority of people (24%) who felt Harmperson would do the trick -- nothing that a ball gag and Rohypnol wouldn't fix. And the videos would be something to treasure forever.
19% of you felt that the Chipmunk was a passionkiller, personally, I think she is probably a lot of fun in bed. I've no idea why I think this.
Moving over to the gay blokes: Gorgon wins this erection, followed by Meltyface, Fatso and Mike the Impaler.
Only 10% felt that Tessa's Jowls would do the job, which was my choice.
Unlike the 10% of you who thought "Tits" would put you off your stroke, I could imagine having a lot of fun with her, a ball gag and some Rohypnol; I disagree in a similar vein with the majority of people (24%) who felt Harmperson would do the trick -- nothing that a ball gag and Rohypnol wouldn't fix. And the videos would be something to treasure forever.
19% of you felt that the Chipmunk was a passionkiller, personally, I think she is probably a lot of fun in bed. I've no idea why I think this.
Moving over to the gay blokes: Gorgon wins this erection, followed by Meltyface, Fatso and Mike the Impaler.
What do you mean: "it gets worse"?
Nooooooooooo:
I don't think I can take any more of this pleasure.
the PBR book includes an unexplained projection of higher than normal tax revenues from 2011. Table B10 on p198 to be precise shows what looks like a revised rate of growth in tax receipts from 2.8pc to 4pc. Where is that money coming from? Is this another bit of the PBR that wasn't tidied up in time by the Treasury? The Tories say such an increase would generate £100bn extra over four years, so even if the cancelled 18.5pc VAT trick was taken into account, there's £75bn of extra taxes that are unacccounted for.We will learn more in the hours to come, but it's this £100 bn "black hole" that looks like the real bombshell. Not to mention the one that has blown up under the Treasury tonight, just when the department was getting its act together.
I don't think I can take any more of this pleasure.
Disappointing PMQs
Tried to pay attention, but I was spending a lot of time moderating on Cover-It -- which is really shit work. Fuck's sake, you cunts, mouse-clicking on random parts of the screen is so fucking 90's, read a usability manual.
Anyway, it was the usual crap: Dave asking a question for which the answer was in the public domain, and Gorgon failing to simply acknowledge the truth of the question, followed by a series of pointless filibustering drivel, planted sucking on the Brownshirt pink pole and the very odd good, pointed question. All of which were answered with the same smarmy, blathering waffle.
Tedious as fuck.
Listen you fucking monocular mentalist mong: the "Q" stands for questions, and you're supposed to answer them.
Cunt.
Anyway, it was the usual crap: Dave asking a question for which the answer was in the public domain, and Gorgon failing to simply acknowledge the truth of the question, followed by a series of pointless filibustering drivel, planted sucking on the Brownshirt pink pole and the very odd good, pointed question. All of which were answered with the same smarmy, blathering waffle.
Tedious as fuck.
Listen you fucking monocular mentalist mong: the "Q" stands for questions, and you're supposed to answer them.
Cunt.
£42??
Christ on a fucking trike, what do I pay National Insurance for? My "free at the point of delivery" NHS dentist wants to charge me £42 for a cunting filling.
I've paid less than that to go fucking private!
I've paid less than that to go fucking private!
Want to ask Gorgon a question?
Douglas Carswell is number 9 in the queue today, he may get a chance to ask, he may not. However, in the interests of direct democracy, he is offering the opportunity to have your question asked if it's a good one.
Try him in the House or in the home.
Try him in the House or in the home.
Tuesday, 25 November 2008
Darling to resign just before PMQs tomorrow?
An anonymous commentor left an extremely off-topic observation on my Informix roundup.
Personally, I can't see it. Why would Darling voluntary release the levers of power (even if he doesn't really hold them) and forgo all that yummy money? And what about Mandelsnake and Campbell -- losing control of the media narrative like that would show that their grip has been severely weakend.
Mind you, I did read recently how disruptive being Chancellor is to his home life, I wonder if that wasn't a bit of spadework. Having the Chancellor resign just before PMQs would certainly piss in Gorgon's chips.
Where are these rumours coming from? Who benefits by spreading them? Who benefits if it's proven false? Who benefits if it's proven true?
And at the end of the day: who really cares? If Badger does fuck off, some other nonentity will feel Gorgon's fist reaching up his fundament and take control of his jaw. Even if it does bring the whole sack of shit government tumbling to a fall and Cameron takes hold, we'll still be fucked, we'll still be ruled by the EU, our economy will still be pebble-dashing the lavvy, and one bunch of unprincipled, power-hungry fucks will be replaced by another bunch of unprincipled, power-hungry fucks.
Whoop de fucking doo.
Update: I suppose I should say that I would glean some enjoyment from the inevitable "ferrets in a sack" that would follow.
Update 2: sounds like it was all just wild speculation. Allegedly.
Personally, I can't see it. Why would Darling voluntary release the levers of power (even if he doesn't really hold them) and forgo all that yummy money? And what about Mandelsnake and Campbell -- losing control of the media narrative like that would show that their grip has been severely weakend.
Mind you, I did read recently how disruptive being Chancellor is to his home life, I wonder if that wasn't a bit of spadework. Having the Chancellor resign just before PMQs would certainly piss in Gorgon's chips.
Where are these rumours coming from? Who benefits by spreading them? Who benefits if it's proven false? Who benefits if it's proven true?
And at the end of the day: who really cares? If Badger does fuck off, some other nonentity will feel Gorgon's fist reaching up his fundament and take control of his jaw. Even if it does bring the whole sack of shit government tumbling to a fall and Cameron takes hold, we'll still be fucked, we'll still be ruled by the EU, our economy will still be pebble-dashing the lavvy, and one bunch of unprincipled, power-hungry fucks will be replaced by another bunch of unprincipled, power-hungry fucks.
Whoop de fucking doo.
Update: I suppose I should say that I would glean some enjoyment from the inevitable "ferrets in a sack" that would follow.
Update 2: sounds like it was all just wild speculation. Allegedly.
Informix Roundup: 25 Nov 2008
Non-geeks may want to look away now.
Get published on developerWrecks.
Another name check for Informix, this time for an author.
MapInfo Professional 9.0 Build 42 supports Informix. Not going to link you to a hooky warez site, though! :o)
Someone struggling with JPA and Hibernate.
DBTyP .NET 2008 announces Informix support.
Get published on developerWrecks.
Another name check for Informix, this time for an author.
MapInfo Professional 9.0 Build 42 supports Informix. Not going to link you to a hooky warez site, though! :o)
Someone struggling with JPA and Hibernate.
DBTyP .NET 2008 announces Informix support.
Why VAT?
I just read this:
And I have to say, it gave me pause, although I don't think that Lord Sainsbury is still actively involved in (what was) the family business. He still profits hugely from it, so I suppose it could have been a motive.
But I did wonder, why VAT? I mean, it will probably help old Saino claw back some or all of his £2 million donation to Labour but I think it's probably a bit more pernicious than that: Labour's cutting VAT was an excuse to push up the price of petrol, fags and beer which will pay them a lot more in the long run.
This was not about the government doing something to help "struggling families", this was about another objective entirely: this was just another piece of socialist social engineering. VAT has been cut on some consumer items (that we're not going to buy in a fucking recession anyway), but not by enough to actually make diddly difference. However, the usual suspects (booze, fags and car juice) got heavily punished. And since people are going to be hoarding their pennies and so used to living under the cosh anyway, I can see lots of nanny-state fuckmongering being slipped in under the guise of trying to "fiscally stimulate" us.
This wasn't a fiscal stimulus in any way, shape or form.
This was just a tax grab in a frock and an assessment of how compliant we are. If we just lie there and take it, then I personally would not be astounded to see it go all the way to something like maybe an EU bailout, provided we kneel and bow our collective heads to and wrap our lips firmly around the EU's cock.
Labour could have raised a million people out of poverty, and probably more by reducing the current disincentives of work, by changing the personal allowance and this would have cost less than the VAT change. So I wonder why they chose a tax cut that principally helps retailers rather than poor people? It would, of course, have absolutely nothing to do with the fact that the Labour Party is currently being propped up by major retailer Lord Sainsbury.
And I have to say, it gave me pause, although I don't think that Lord Sainsbury is still actively involved in (what was) the family business. He still profits hugely from it, so I suppose it could have been a motive.
But I did wonder, why VAT? I mean, it will probably help old Saino claw back some or all of his £2 million donation to Labour but I think it's probably a bit more pernicious than that: Labour's cutting VAT was an excuse to push up the price of petrol, fags and beer which will pay them a lot more in the long run.
This was not about the government doing something to help "struggling families", this was about another objective entirely: this was just another piece of socialist social engineering. VAT has been cut on some consumer items (that we're not going to buy in a fucking recession anyway), but not by enough to actually make diddly difference. However, the usual suspects (booze, fags and car juice) got heavily punished. And since people are going to be hoarding their pennies and so used to living under the cosh anyway, I can see lots of nanny-state fuckmongering being slipped in under the guise of trying to "fiscally stimulate" us.
This wasn't a fiscal stimulus in any way, shape or form.
This was just a tax grab in a frock and an assessment of how compliant we are. If we just lie there and take it, then I personally would not be astounded to see it go all the way to something like maybe an EU bailout, provided we kneel and bow our collective heads to and wrap our lips firmly around the EU's cock.
The Page 56 Rule Meme
Page 56 Rules:
My Page 56 contribution is:
I'm tagging Devil's Kitchen, Timmy, Old Holborn, Mr E., and Iain Dale.
- Grab the book nearest you. Right now.
- Turn to page 56.
- Find the fifth sentence.
- Post that sentence along with these instructions in a note to your blog.
- Don't dig for your favorite book, the coolest, the most intellectual. Use the CLOSEST.
- Tag five bloggers.
My Page 56 contribution is:
Even the very poorest man in a very elementary kind of society has some property he wishes to protect.
I'm tagging Devil's Kitchen, Timmy, Old Holborn, Mr E., and Iain Dale.
I didn't even make it through the first paragraph ...
Keynes and Roosevelt are the world's spirit guides through this crisis, because in a crisis social democracy is what works.
Polly, Polly, Polly ...
I can't believe people actually pay her to write that shit.
Update: I guess I should have persevered. Her Grace, the Cuntess of Tuscany, wrote:
Even if unemployment reaches 3 million, that still leaves 90% in secure jobs. Most people will suffer not at all in this recession: on the contrary they will do well...
Can you imagine her righteous indignation if a Tory said that?
Monday, 24 November 2008
Is that it?
I can't say it any more succinctly than this (from the bottom of the comments):
This wasn't a fiscal stimulus. This was a fisting.
So in essence: fags up, petrol up, drink up, national insurance up (next year) but VAT down for 13 months.
That's it?
Fucking Whoopee.
This wasn't a fiscal stimulus. This was a fisting.
Laugh, you cunt. Laugh. Till we get our fucking hands on you.
Like a vampire feeding off our misery ...
The boy done good!
I watched the Pre-budget election giveaway clusterfuck in Parliament today, and I was pleased to see Ozzie putting the boot in. Guido did the whole thing on CoverIt as usual, and Dolly Draper joined in ... and took his smacks like a man.
The one thing that Dolly kept on banging on about was the paucity of Osborne's alternatives. I don't think that's a valid charge for Labour to make, because every time the Tories come up with something, Labour rubbish it, wait a couple of weeks and then nick it.
I think Ozzie did exactly the right thing: stuck the boot in and kept his policy powder dry*. Labour gets nothing to nick and they've had to show their cards. And fuck me, what a piss fucking poor hand it was. Lots of sticking oars into places, sleight of hand increases in petrol prices, more National Insurance and a ludicrous 2.5% drop in VAT that will achieve the square root of fuck all.
This was another complete con by Gorgon and the Bearded Twat.
*Assuming he has any, of course!
The one thing that Dolly kept on banging on about was the paucity of Osborne's alternatives. I don't think that's a valid charge for Labour to make, because every time the Tories come up with something, Labour rubbish it, wait a couple of weeks and then nick it.
I think Ozzie did exactly the right thing: stuck the boot in and kept his policy powder dry*. Labour gets nothing to nick and they've had to show their cards. And fuck me, what a piss fucking poor hand it was. Lots of sticking oars into places, sleight of hand increases in petrol prices, more National Insurance and a ludicrous 2.5% drop in VAT that will achieve the square root of fuck all.
This was another complete con by Gorgon and the Bearded Twat.
*Assuming he has any, of course!
One in Ten
I am the one in ten
A number on a list
I am the one in ten
Even though I don't exist
Nobody knows me
Even though I'm always there
A statistic, a reminder
that the NHS just doesn't care
My arms enfold the death bed
Malnutrition dulls my hair
Corridors are black and dirty
With an unwashed faeces smear
I'm the corpse on the gurney
Will no-one spare some Flash?
I'm the child that dies of infection
'cause managers got all the cash
(chorus)
I'm the murderer and untouchable
The licence with the gun
I'm an overpaid middle manager
With the one clean office in a slum
I'm a Capita consultant
With a cracking bonus year
I'm a parking revenue attendant
At a hospital with dirty beds
(chorus)
I'm a dying first world mother
A sick man without a bed
I'm a trust boss hooked on consultants
I'm a patient here alone
I'm a cancer outpatient
Paying out the earth
I'm another infected baby
I'm dying from my birth.
A number on a list
I am the one in ten
Even though I don't exist
Nobody knows me
Even though I'm always there
A statistic, a reminder
that the NHS just doesn't care
My arms enfold the death bed
Malnutrition dulls my hair
Corridors are black and dirty
With an unwashed faeces smear
I'm the corpse on the gurney
Will no-one spare some Flash?
I'm the child that dies of infection
'cause managers got all the cash
(chorus)
I'm the murderer and untouchable
The licence with the gun
I'm an overpaid middle manager
With the one clean office in a slum
I'm a Capita consultant
With a cracking bonus year
I'm a parking revenue attendant
At a hospital with dirty beds
(chorus)
I'm a dying first world mother
A sick man without a bed
I'm a trust boss hooked on consultants
I'm a patient here alone
I'm a cancer outpatient
Paying out the earth
I'm another infected baby
I'm dying from my birth.
Why not have a mong?
Mnnnnnngggggf:
Indeed, it seems that the government is dead keen on everyone being illiterate, innumerate, uncritical and entirely dependent on others for survival. You might as well short-circuit the whole process and have a fucking mong. It'll save the government some effort.
Update: I have just had my attention drawn to the Daily Mash.
many parents also felt that Britain had become a much better place to bring up a child with Down's syndrome
Indeed, it seems that the government is dead keen on everyone being illiterate, innumerate, uncritical and entirely dependent on others for survival. You might as well short-circuit the whole process and have a fucking mong. It'll save the government some effort.
Update: I have just had my attention drawn to the Daily Mash.
Something that is missing from all the papers?
I dunno. I've read all about this 45% rate for people on £150K per annum and a temporary reduction in VAT which is going to be followed by a massive spike in VAT. And I have to ask, what the fuck is going on?
Why is no-one in the media saying the obvious? 45% on £150K pa will become 45% on £125K pa will become 50% on £100K pa will become 60% on £75K pa and pretty fucking soon, we're all going be on 85% on £40K pa. 45% on £150K pa is also going to amount to the square root of fuck all compared to the amount Gorgon is pissing away like a sailor in port.
And Timmy, although he's talking about the LibDumb nodding dog Vince Cable, makes another key point:
So, we're not "punishing the bankers", we're punishing everybody left behind who is still earning money from creating value. This is just another lurch to the left, heading for that glorious socialist workers' paradise that Badger Brows (formerly known as "that bearded Trot" who even Neil fucking Kinnock didn't want as an MP) and the great flunking cyst have always wanted.
I can't remember where I read it, but someone kept on banging on about how Naomi Klein was right and right-wing governments use crises to force unwelcome legislation upon us. Well, she was half-right. Only this time it's Naomi's beloved left-wing that is arsefucking us.
And boy, is this going to be ugly.
Why is no-one in the media saying the obvious? 45% on £150K pa will become 45% on £125K pa will become 50% on £100K pa will become 60% on £75K pa and pretty fucking soon, we're all going be on 85% on £40K pa. 45% on £150K pa is also going to amount to the square root of fuck all compared to the amount Gorgon is pissing away like a sailor in port.
And Timmy, although he's talking about the LibDumb nodding dog Vince Cable, makes another key point:
Except, you see, those bankers ain’t gonna be making those high incomes any more, because there ain’t no profits to pay them from. So what he’s actually suggesting is that we should raise taxes on those who are still creating value, those with high incomes not in the banking sector.
So, we're not "punishing the bankers", we're punishing everybody left behind who is still earning money from creating value. This is just another lurch to the left, heading for that glorious socialist workers' paradise that Badger Brows (formerly known as "that bearded Trot" who even Neil fucking Kinnock didn't want as an MP) and the great flunking cyst have always wanted.
A bearded Trot, much, much earlier
I can't remember where I read it, but someone kept on banging on about how Naomi Klein was right and right-wing governments use crises to force unwelcome legislation upon us. Well, she was half-right. Only this time it's Naomi's beloved left-wing that is arsefucking us.
And boy, is this going to be ugly.
Another Product Development Failure
To the manufacturers of "Ibugel": fish-flavoured canned cat food is not a therapeutic fragrance, you cunts.
Sunday, 23 November 2008
Informix Roundup: 23 Nov 2008
Another ex-Informixer in the news. I find this quite interesting -- does this mean that Informix is somehow becoming more important as a name-check?
Delphi 2009 and C++ Builder 2009 support Informix.
Recommended book.
IIUG 2009 Concerence site goes live.
Delphi 2009 and C++ Builder 2009 support Informix.
Recommended book.
IIUG 2009 Concerence site goes live.
Saturday, 22 November 2008
Friday, 21 November 2008
Informix Roundup: 21 Nov 2008
Informix in Gay Pareee (thanks to JGP for bringing this to my attention!)
Guaranteed to make you wilt!
To help with the voting:
Hazel Blurs
Tessa's Jowls
Jacqui "Tits" Smith
Harridan Harmperson
Anne Witheredcunt
Gorgon Brownshit
Melted Face Miliband
Lardarse Soames
Count "Vlad" Howard
A thought for people voting in my poll
Let's inspect some of the basic maneuvers of drunken driving while you've got crazy girls who are on drugs with you. Look for these signs when picking up crazy girls: pierced ears with five or six earrings in them, unusual shoes, white lipstick, extreme thinness, hair that's less than an inch long, or clothing made of chrome and leather. Stay away from girls who cry a lot or who look like they get pregnant easily or have careers. They may want to do weird stuff in cars, but only in the backseat, and it's really hard to steer from back there. Besides, they'll want to get engaged right away afterwards. But the other kind of girls – there's no telling what they'll do. I used to know this girl who weighed about eighty pounds and dressed in skirts that didn't even cover her underwear, when she wore any. I had this beat-up old Mercedes, and we were off someplace about fifty miles from nowhere on Christmas Eve in a horrible sleetstorm. The road was really a mess, all curves and big ditches, and I was blotto, and the car kept slipping off the pavement and sliding sideways. And just when I'd hit a big patch of glare ice and was frantically spinning the wheel trying to stay out of the oncoming traffic, she said, "I shaved my crotch today – wanna feel?"
That's really true. And then about half an hour later the head gasket blew up, and we had to spend I don't know how long in this dirtball motel although the girl walked all the way to the liquor store through about a mile of slush and got all kinds of wine and did weird stuff with the bottlenecks later. So it was sort of okay, except that the garage where I left the Mercedes burned down and I used the insurance money to buy a motorcycle.
Now, girls who like motorcycles really will do anything. I mean, really, anything you can think of.
-- P. J. O'Rourke: How to DRIVE FAST on DRUGS while getting your WING-WANG SQUEEZED and not SPILL YOUR DRINK
I'd just like to point out:
Is Labour trying to rewrite history?
According to Burning Our Money, a famous budget speech has disappeared from the Treasury website:
Anyone else seen potentially embarrassing official documents disappear from official websites?
Of course, if he wants to see some real anger he should come down our way and mention that appalling bloke who just last year told us such Monstrous Lies as the following:"In 2008, alongside North America, our growth will again be the highest in the G7 - between 2½ and 3 per cent - with the same rate of growth also in 2009 - under this Government, with stability in this as in every other Budget the foundation, sustained growth year on year."Reality check - the IMF now expects the UK economy to contract faster than any other in the G7."Just as our monetary discipline is the foundation of our economic strength, our fiscal discipline is the foundation of the strength of Britain's finances...
Britain's net borrowing, which in the early 1990s went as high as 8 per cent of our national income is this year just 2.7 per cent.
Compared to a deficit equivalent of over £100 billion in a single year in the early 1990s, the figure for this and future years will be £35 billion then 34, 30, 28, 26 and 24 billion."
Reality check - borrowing this year is on track for £70bn, heading for £150bn pa, or about 10% of GDP. Far far worse than anything under the Tories, and far worse than any other G7 economy.
Gah! It's no good. I had intended to Fisk the whole of Gordo's 2007 Budget speech, but I'm simply too angry.
This now notorious Budget speech has mysteriously disappeared from its usual position on the HM Treasury website. All it now says is Error.It sure was.
Anyone else seen potentially embarrassing official documents disappear from official websites?
Chickens coming home to roost
Repossession numbers have not been this high since the early 1990s and, in a sign that the problem is likely to get worse, official figures revealed a sharp rise in home owners falling behind with their mortgage payments.
Jamie Whyte Speaks Out
TANSTAAFL*!
*There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch!
Hat tip to Timmy. Also, if you haven't read "Bad Thoughts" yet, buy it now and read it. No bullshit, it's the most important book you'll ever read, and it's engaging and funny.
Encouraged by politicians, many adults indulge the infantile fantasy that the Government can bestow gifts on us while imposing costs on no one.
*There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch!
Hat tip to Timmy. Also, if you haven't read "Bad Thoughts" yet, buy it now and read it. No bullshit, it's the most important book you'll ever read, and it's engaging and funny.
Thursday, 20 November 2008
Informix Roundup: 20 Nov 2008
Why Labour is crapping itself over the BNP
Tip of the hat to LabourHome for the graphic.
I just loved this comment:
if a right wing voter wants to support a racist party, then Tory rhetoric, their dog-whistle politics, is usually enough to keep them on-side.
A man demanding British jobs for British Workers, yesterday, in front of the unions and all!Thanks to Leg-Iron in the comments.
Look at that cancer, consuming Britain
I'm sure you've seen it:
An outrageous cancer upon the face of Britain, blood dripping red from the streets... or 13,500 eccentrics, 13,500 angry protestors, or even 13,500 racist cunts; out of a population of 60 million-plus people, that's hardly a worry. Let's face it, if every single person on that list is a skinhead racist thug, it means that 0.02% of the British population is racist and happy to say so. That wouldn't cause me to lose any sleep. Even the Gaurdina's clickable map shows that AT BEST the BNP have 90 people in a single constituency. That's fucking nothing. Nothing.
So why the fuck is everyone getting so het up about it? Why are crypto-communist fucktards like the teachers' unions frothing at the mouth:
What? Are you scared of them breaking the vow of Omerta or something? I wonder what my daughter would say to a BNP teacher who told her she wasn't allowed to see half her friends because they were of the wrong colour. "Fuck off!" probably.
But I'd rather she was exposed to the idea that there was something else out there that was not the BBC pink view of the world, that there were other ideas out there, even if they're dangerous or unpopular.
And really, I don't see how the BNP could be any worse than the party who's leader said that British jobs should be for British workers. It seems that if one guy says that, he's Prime Mentalist, but if some other guy says it, he's a dangerous nutter.
Hm.
And when I read that, there was only one response I could make: "well, that's mighty white of you."
An outrageous cancer upon the face of Britain, blood dripping red from the streets... or 13,500 eccentrics, 13,500 angry protestors, or even 13,500 racist cunts; out of a population of 60 million-plus people, that's hardly a worry. Let's face it, if every single person on that list is a skinhead racist thug, it means that 0.02% of the British population is racist and happy to say so. That wouldn't cause me to lose any sleep. Even the Gaurdina's clickable map shows that AT BEST the BNP have 90 people in a single constituency. That's fucking nothing. Nothing.
So why the fuck is everyone getting so het up about it? Why are crypto-communist fucktards like the teachers' unions frothing at the mouth:
"Those who declare their affiliation to the BNP should not be allowed to work in the teaching profession or in public services."
What? Are you scared of them breaking the vow of Omerta or something? I wonder what my daughter would say to a BNP teacher who told her she wasn't allowed to see half her friends because they were of the wrong colour. "Fuck off!" probably.
But I'd rather she was exposed to the idea that there was something else out there that was not the BBC pink view of the world, that there were other ideas out there, even if they're dangerous or unpopular.
And really, I don't see how the BNP could be any worse than the party who's leader said that British jobs should be for British workers. It seems that if one guy says that, he's Prime Mentalist, but if some other guy says it, he's a dangerous nutter.
Hm.
Membership of the BNP is forbidden under the contract that police and prison officers sign but supporters are allowed to take other public sector posts if they do not discuss their views.
And when I read that, there was only one response I could make: "well, that's mighty white of you."
My head in my hands, groaning
They really do think we're stupid:
Yeah, fucking right.
Meantime, have a look at this, from dizzy:
The motherfuckers lie about everything. They lied about the budget, year after fucking year after fucking year. How can we believe that these fucking savings will ever happen?
They just want the fucking headlines, don't they? How can they be bringing savings onstream in 2010 without us starting to see things changing now?
And most importantly: HOW THE FUCK IS SAVINGS IN 2010 GOING TO FUCKING HELP US NOW, YOU CUNTS???
A new front in the political battle over the economy will be opened today when Labour tries to trump David Cameron's plans for finding big savings in government spending to keep down taxes.
The Treasury's drive to reduce Whitehall waste has found between £4bn and £5bn more than the £30bn it has already announced. The efficiency savings will be used to limit the hike in borrowing needed to fund the tax cuts to be announced in Monday's pre-Budget report by the Chancellor, Alistair Darling.
Ministers hope the move will undermine Tory attacks on Gordon Brown's "borrowing binge". The extra savings will come on stream in 2010/11
Yeah, fucking right.
Meantime, have a look at this, from dizzy:
The dotted downwards lines are his borrowing figures and his predictions for the coming years. The solid orange line that rises in an approximate 30 degree angle upward trend is reality.
"borrowing for this year and future years is therefore £27 billion (2003), £24 billion (2004), £23 billion (2005), £22 billion (2006) and £22 billion (2007)." Budget 2003
"borrowing for this year will fall to £34 billions (2004) and in future years fall further to £33 billions (2005), falling again to £29 billions (2006), then falling to £28 billions (2007), £24 billions (2008) and £22 billions (2009). Budget 2004
"[it] will be £34bn (2005) this year falling to £32bn (2006) next year, then falling again to £29bn (2007), falling to £27bn (2008), then to £24bn (2009) and then £22bn (2010)." Budget 2005
"[borrowing] will be £37bn this year, £36bn next year, then £30bn, falling to £25bn, £24bn and £23bn in 2010-11" Budget 2006
"the figure for [borrowing] this and future years will be £35 billion (2007) - over 1 billion less than forecast at the Pre Budget Report - then 34 (2008), 30 (2009), 28 (2010), 26 (2011) and 24 billion (2012)" Budget 2007
The motherfuckers lie about everything. They lied about the budget, year after fucking year after fucking year. How can we believe that these fucking savings will ever happen?
They just want the fucking headlines, don't they? How can they be bringing savings onstream in 2010 without us starting to see things changing now?
And most importantly: HOW THE FUCK IS SAVINGS IN 2010 GOING TO FUCKING HELP US NOW, YOU CUNTS???
What are you doing reading this shit?
Especially when you could be watching this in glorious high definition, instead?
Hm ...
I wonder if Yvette Cooper makes chutney?
Update: To put my three readers out of their misery ....
Update: To put my three readers out of their misery ....
Been honked?
The Window Licker has an amusing commentary on driving in Britain today.
I should just point out that I don't drive a Skoda.
I should just point out that I don't drive a Skoda.
Wednesday, 19 November 2008
Informix Roundup: 19 Nov 2008
Informix day in Paris
Gillani are expanding.
Another ex-Informixer going places in AsiaPac. Curious.
New version of Aubit.
A discussion of CLR in IBM Database Magazine.
Interesting results from the poll, nearly half of you wanted to be shot of the roundup entirely. Ungrateful bastards, here's me slaving over a hot keyboard ... :o)
I reckon I'm going to keep at it and mostly leave it alone, I might pick up the odd interesting link on developwrecks or Informix Zone. This will ensure that everyone is equally unhappy.
How to write about Africa: a guide for liberals
Found a fantastic guide on how to write about Africa from an Islington perspective:
Do go read the whole thing, it's absolutely brilliant!
Throughout the book, adopt a sotto voice, in conspiracy with the reader, and a sad I-expected-so-much tone. Establish early on that your liberalism is impeccable, and mention near the beginning how much you love Africa, how you fell in love with the place and can’t live without her. Africa is the only continent you can love — take advantage of this. If you are a man, thrust yourself into her warm virgin forests. If you are a woman, treat Africa as a man who wears a bush jacket and disappears off into the sunset. Africa is to be pitied, worshipped or dominated. Whichever angle you take, be sure to leave the strong impression that without your intervention and your important book, Africa is doomed.
Do go read the whole thing, it's absolutely brilliant!
Tuesday, 18 November 2008
Informix Roundup: 18 Nov 2008
Something you don't see every day: why does this product support Informix (and Sybase) and not Oracle?
West Midlands DBA job.
Senior consultant job for Berks.
West Midlands DBA job.
Senior consultant job for Berks.
That bailout again
Such a fucking good idea, wasn't it?
Rent-seeking, anyone? For fucking sake of fucking fuck, I didn't see this shit happening from a mile away.
Utter, utter cunts.
Hat tip to the ASI.
Hartford Financial Services Group Inc. said it’s buying a Florida bank for $10 million so the insurer can be eligible for the Treasury rescue program. Hartford, based in the Connecticut city of the same name, expects to qualify for $1.1 billion to $3.4 billion under Treasury guidelines, the company said in a statement distributed today by Business Wire.
Rent-seeking, anyone? For fucking sake of fucking fuck, I didn't see this shit happening from a mile away.
Utter, utter cunts.
Hat tip to the ASI.
Why does everyone hate the BNP quite so much?
This ought to provoke some discussion. And this is not some sort of fatuity or trolling. I genuinely don't understand two things about the BNP:
I read the BNP's policies and they are very honeyed words indeed. However, when you actually think about what the honeyed words mean, at their core the BNP appear to be a protectionist, socialist, statist, corporatist bunch (if you exclude the racist nature attributed to them.) In other words, largely indistinguishable from the Labour Party, apart from their hatred of the EU.
So it would seem to me that the only reason to support the BNP would be because a) you want out of the EU, b) it's a protest vote, c) you are a bit dim and fell for the nice words or d) you are a racist. Otherwise, you might just as well vote Labour.
Or Tory.
Or LibDem.
But that's your choice, I guess. And people make funny choices.
The bit I really don't understand, though, is why people get so frothy about the BNP. To me (as you can see) they don't look substantially different from any of the mainstream parties, apart from their anti-EU position. But then UKIP are anti-EU and they don't get the same level of abuse.
And why are police or whatever not allowed to join the political party of their choice if that happens to be the BNP? Why do people frown upon nurses or teachers who are in the BNP?
So, this is my honest, genuine and heartfelt question: can someone explain to me (intelligibly) why the BNP is so unacceptable, despite being a legally recognised political party?
- Why anybody would support them
- Why people get so arsey about them
I read the BNP's policies and they are very honeyed words indeed. However, when you actually think about what the honeyed words mean, at their core the BNP appear to be a protectionist, socialist, statist, corporatist bunch (if you exclude the racist nature attributed to them.) In other words, largely indistinguishable from the Labour Party, apart from their hatred of the EU.
So it would seem to me that the only reason to support the BNP would be because a) you want out of the EU, b) it's a protest vote, c) you are a bit dim and fell for the nice words or d) you are a racist. Otherwise, you might just as well vote Labour.
Or Tory.
Or LibDem.
But that's your choice, I guess. And people make funny choices.
The bit I really don't understand, though, is why people get so frothy about the BNP. To me (as you can see) they don't look substantially different from any of the mainstream parties, apart from their anti-EU position. But then UKIP are anti-EU and they don't get the same level of abuse.
And why are police or whatever not allowed to join the political party of their choice if that happens to be the BNP? Why do people frown upon nurses or teachers who are in the BNP?
So, this is my honest, genuine and heartfelt question: can someone explain to me (intelligibly) why the BNP is so unacceptable, despite being a legally recognised political party?
Minor BNP Data Protection issue?
Er ... whoops!
*The irony of some left-wing communitarian troglodyte claiming to be anti-fascist did not elude me.
Entire BNP membership list goes online
Posted by Antifascist*
Before reading this, you should appreciate that there are very strict limitations on what we are allowed to print and we intend to stay strictly within the law in the comments that we allow.
Having said all that, this breach of data security is startlingly bad for the BNP, not simply for the fact that the party has lost data - almost everyone seems to have managed to do that recently - but for the nature of that information.
Not only does the data, now available online, include the entire membership list with full names (and former names where there have been changes for any reason), addresses, contact numbers, email addresses and in many cases the member's age, particularly where those members are under eighteen. Yes, that's right. This list includes members as young as fourteen, male and female. Where a family membership is bought and paid for, the whole family is listed.
As if this isn't bad enough, the notes that are attached to many of the entries leave a lot of the members open to difficulties in their jobs, some of them being in the armed forces or the police and the BNP too - an illegal combination, and where not illegal, frequently frowned upon. Other members are noted as construction managers, receptionists, district nurses, lay preachers, police officers, company directors and teachers among many others.
Like this wasn't enough, the BNP has also listed hobbies or interests where for some reason they are deemed relevant. Thus we have short-wave radio hams, amateur historians, pagans, line-dancers and even a witch (male).
*The irony of some left-wing communitarian troglodyte claiming to be anti-fascist did not elude me.
Child abuse was rarer in Victorian slums
Patrick Vessey over at the LPUK blog discusses a letter in today's Telegraph:
And the difference today? The destruction of family and natural community as an intentional policy by the powers that be. Such structures were crucial in providing stability and support in the past. The introduction of the 'welfare state' may have been well intentioned, but it started the inexorable slide away from such community-based support structures. This has been exacerbated by policies intentionally designed to further fracture local cohesion, such as the ban on smoking in public houses, which has turned them from centres of the community to empty, soulless places, suitable only for the lagering-up of modern youth.
As ever, the (possibly) well intentioned have wrought havoc by thinking that they know best, and can best 'look after' us all. They can't. A return to the mutual support of years gone by is necessary, and the only way to improve much of the social malaise in our nation. But that would mean a far smaller role for the state, so will be resisted at all costs by Labour and Tory alike.
Sir - We seem to want to take comfort in the belief that child abuse was just as common in the past.
Child abuse to the death is many times more common where the mother was not married to the father and the present boyfriend is not the child's father. Those household arrangements are many times more common than in the past.
We need not depend on theory. The great empirical study of slum life in Victorian England was Charles Booth's survey of the East End of London. Of child abuse he wrote: "I can only speak as I have found: wholesome, pleasant family life … affectionate relationships of husbands and wives, mothers and sons, elders and children."
From 13 volumes of observations, he concluded that this "agreeable picture" applied to 98.75 per cent of the population of East End slums - chosen by him as the worst in England. The "dangerous class" accounted for 1.25 per cent, and these few "fouled the reputation of the poor".
Would that it were 1.25 per cent today. Yet Booth is often quoted as the authority on the social disorder and moral squalor that the welfare state removed.
Norman Dennis, Director of Community Studies, Civitas, London SW1
And the difference today? The destruction of family and natural community as an intentional policy by the powers that be. Such structures were crucial in providing stability and support in the past. The introduction of the 'welfare state' may have been well intentioned, but it started the inexorable slide away from such community-based support structures. This has been exacerbated by policies intentionally designed to further fracture local cohesion, such as the ban on smoking in public houses, which has turned them from centres of the community to empty, soulless places, suitable only for the lagering-up of modern youth.
As ever, the (possibly) well intentioned have wrought havoc by thinking that they know best, and can best 'look after' us all. They can't. A return to the mutual support of years gone by is necessary, and the only way to improve much of the social malaise in our nation. But that would mean a far smaller role for the state, so will be resisted at all costs by Labour and Tory alike.
The elephant in the corner
Trixy blows a gasket (stylishly, of course!) :
Yeah, how come no-one mentions this?
Once again, they completely fail to see the point of tax cuts.
They aren't supposed to be used for short term vote winning, you arse, they are used because people are better at spending their own money than the government is, and as such when you cut taxes you increase revenues to the Treasury because the country as a whole does better off. Which is why this concept of 'when things are better we'll stick them up again' makes me want to run around sticking sharp things into people who are trying to ruin our lives for us. They've said themselves that tax cuts are a stimulus so why oh fucking why would they not want that to continue?
Yeah, how come no-one mentions this?
How regulation fails us
With all these cries for more regulation, people should pause for thought over these words from the IEA:
Without wishing to trivialise the former, there are eerie similarities between the tragic case of Baby P and the failure of Northern Rock. In the banking sector, the FSA, which has virtually unlimited regulatory powers, uses extraordinarily detailed rulebooks in order to seek the needle of abuse in the great haystack of financial transactions. Meanwhile, the obvious was missed and nobody understood how to use relevant powers to achieve important objectives at the crucial time. In the case of Baby P, the Every Child Matters agenda has everybody monitoring everybody else looking for the needle of minor mistreatment in the great haystack of child-adult relationships. Once again the obvious is missed and the authorities are paralysed by indecision at the very point when they should take some action.
In both cases, in various ways, the free institutions of civil society, which should have primary responsibility in monitoring economic and social relationships, have become subservient to statutory authorities whose attempts at perfecting society and the economy through ever-more detailed regulation are failing disastrously. Indeed, this is a basic Hayekian situation. The knowledge that is needed to regulate private behaviour is naturally dispersed and cannot be centralised in regulatory institutions that lie outside the market and civil society. If the state stuck to dealing with criminal behaviour it might make a better fist of it.
Hurrah for BALPA!
And because they've decided to go on strike, as well!
Fuck government by database. Fuck Labour totalitarianism. And fuck Jacqui "Tits" Smith, right in the ear.
Fucking fascist cunt that she is.
Hat tip to Guthrum.
The first wave of ID cards to be issued to British citizens has prompted airline pilots to threaten a strike rather than accept the documents.Good. Let's have more of this, shall we?
Fuck government by database. Fuck Labour totalitarianism. And fuck Jacqui "Tits" Smith, right in the ear.
Fucking fascist cunt that she is.
Hat tip to Guthrum.
Finally!
Call Me Dave says something:
Unfortunately, judging by the comments, not everyone is impressed:
Heh.
Update: from the Big Mac:
Guess the politician. Who said that "unfunded promises are empty and hollow promises"? Who vaunted his "iron resolve for stability and fiscal prudence"? Who promised his party had "learned from past mistakes ... you cannot spend your way out of recession"? And who announced that "To make unfunded promises, to play fast and loose with stability (indeed to play politics with stability) is ... something I will never do and the British people will not accept"?
The answer, of course, is Gordon Brown. Those claims to prudence and responsibility sound risibly hollow now alarm bells are blaring about the future of our public finances - and now that he's proposing to abandon prudence and borrow our way out of debt. He clearly wasn't listening to his own lectures.
Unfortunately, judging by the comments, not everyone is impressed:
David Cameron, the Urban Spaceman himself, is calling somebody else "risibly hollow"? O, the humanity.
Heh.
Update: from the Big Mac:
About that Lisbon referendum, Mr Cameron?
What's the point of selling us the idea of a Lisbon referendum when you're planning to take us into the Euro?
Hat tip to Mark Wadsworth.
I hate to say this ...
But there are a couple of great articles in the Daily Mail today. First off, I usually enjoy Quentin Letts's writing anyway, but today he's on a roll:
And then the claws really come out:
Peter McKay also has his size 12s on:
I think we may have a new Internet meme here.
Elsewhere, Simon Carr reckons we're on our way to a properly psychotic Prime Mentalist, just a pity the Tories are so fucking useless at scoring points against him.
Hat tip to Guido.
Gordon Brown was in Bren Carrier mode again on Wednesday, foot down hard, helmet jammed on his nut, impervious to the likelihood he is driving his crew (i.e. the rest of us) towards disaster.
Downing Street's spin wallahs say this crisis has 'brought out the best in Gordon'. Pink baloney. It has brought out the very worst in a clumsily partisan politician who again, in the Commons yesterday, showed that he has set his face hard against any other opinion but his own.
He talks about 'consensus politics' but by than he means 'so long as ye agree with me'. If it didn't mean such bad things for our children and grandchildren it would almost be funny.
And then the claws really come out:
Mr Brown beetled into the Chamber just before 3.30pm doing that odd waddle which looks like the great Norman Wisdom playing a department store floor walker. Grin, mince, drop of the head in greeting, grin, waddle, lick of the lips, grin, and then some more busy little steps.
He's had his fringe restiffened. The amount of Cossack For Men that's been sprayed on it, you use it to could scrape the frost off a car windscreen.
On the way past the Chair he even threw a gay hallooo to Speaker Mick. Economy gurgling down the pan, thousands more City jobs being axed, pound leaning against the corner stool like a beaten welterweight, but Gordon's on chim-chimer-nee top form, deaf to doubt, certain that miraculous electoral salvation may yet be his. Or not.
Peter McKay also has his size 12s on:
He feeds on our distress like a vampire, bursting with energy while others wonder how they and their families will survive.
I think we may have a new Internet meme here.
Elsewhere, Simon Carr reckons we're on our way to a properly psychotic Prime Mentalist, just a pity the Tories are so fucking useless at scoring points against him.
Hat tip to Guido.
Monday, 17 November 2008
Kling nails it
This article explains how all those risky debts weren't supposed to be so risky after all. But the killer point is this:
Excellent stuff, and more reason to consider that more regulation isn't always the answer.
The inconsistency in regulation is what accounts for the rise in the credit default swap market.
I think if you are going to regulate, you have to be really careful to trace through all of the consequences of regulation. If you see a financial innovation taking off like crazy, there is a good chance that it is being used to exploit a regulatory anomaly.
Excellent stuff, and more reason to consider that more regulation isn't always the answer.
I'm not one for supporting "big charity"
But the thought of Radio 1 having to play "London Underground" is darkly appealing.
Plus, the song is easily worth 79p.
Our funky, punky, new recording of the London Undeground Song is now on iTunes. Please please buy it because:
1. 100% of proceeds go to Macmillan Cancer Support. It's our big Christmas charity push this year. We can raise shedloads.
2. If enough people buy it this week it'll get into the charts and then they'll have to play it on the radio. Hahaha.
Please forward the email, add to blogs etc - but mostly PLEASE spend 79p on iTunes.
Plus, the song is easily worth 79p.
What the FUCK???????????
Er ... you know that feeling you get when you read something that is so bizarre and strange that you laugh, you know it's not funny, but your disbelief is so great that you think it must be April the first or something? Well, I've just been there:
I can assure you that I'm not some bleeding heart PETA handwringing cockmonger, but really: dude, WTF?
OK, so shoot them or put them down some other quick, humane way. This is just fucking sick. Seriously, come on!
Live and dead dogs and cats are being used as shark bait by amateur fishers on the French-controlled island of Réunion, according to animal-welfare organizations and local authorities.
I can assure you that I'm not some bleeding heart PETA handwringing cockmonger, but really: dude, WTF?
A videotape and photographs show the dogs with multiple hooks sunk deep into their paws and snouts.
Hutin said many locals view the strays as vermin. "There's no value to the life of a dog there," she said.
OK, so shoot them or put them down some other quick, humane way. This is just fucking sick. Seriously, come on!
Strange, but true!
The Appalling Strangeness has an excellent post about Gorgon's strategy of "unity in the national interest":
The implication is clear. If the opposition dare to oppose, then they are being obstructive and are damaging the attempts to rescue the economy and, the bastards, may actually be putting the lives of other kids at risk. It is not a million miles away from the same sort of strategy and the same rhetoric that allowed Bush to suppress any opposition to his policies in the aftermath of 9/11. If you opposed Bush, you were unpatriotic. And if you oppose Brown, then you are unpatriotic. And are damaging the country.
Sunday, 16 November 2008
I did my bit for global warming today!
I went out for a little drive with some friends in Nobles, TVR's, Porsches and even an Ultima. (And BMW's, of course!) A great deal of Shell V-Power was burned and a great deal of rubber was transferred to the road. Frivolity and bonhomie was found around the lunch table and I suspect methane emissions are slightly higher in this neck of the woods this evening.
Domestic tranquility reigns at home. Chores have been done without complaint, homework is sorted. Gentle smiles and kind words are all that can be heard.
I am at peace with the world and refuse to read the papers. Let's see how long I can make this last, shall we?
Domestic tranquility reigns at home. Chores have been done without complaint, homework is sorted. Gentle smiles and kind words are all that can be heard.
I am at peace with the world and refuse to read the papers. Let's see how long I can make this last, shall we?
Saturday, 15 November 2008
Informix Roundup: 15 Nov 2008
Education, education, education
Tom Paine has a cracking piece on how lefty educators have fucked us all.
Were they the eight in ten?
More than 80% of children who are killed or seriously injured as a result of abuse or neglect are missed by the national child protection register, the Guardian can reveal.
Hmm.
So what we're saying is that despite all the hundreds of millions chucked at looking after kiddies, it's not fucking working?
Despite all the handwringing from cunts like the NSPCC and all the hectoring interference into the lives of people who aren't fucking child abusers, despite all the database spying on kids, despite all the irritation and upset, it's not working?
Here's an idea: why don't we shitcan the whole fucking lot of it? A bunch of useless fucking paper-pushing bureaucrats and quangocrats will be out of jobs, boo-hoo. A whole lot of people who like to stick their noses into everyone else's lives can fuck right off.
The next thing is to stop funding people who pop out progeny as a means of building an income. Fuck 'em. Let them start starving until they get a job. Take the kids into care until the fucking parents can afford to feed them. Kids can go into military barracks and be subject to a little bit of military discipline. No Wiis, no Xboxes, no fucking PSPs, no mobile phones. Aggressive schooling. Bring back the cane. Put some backbone into them. No social workers allowed.
Stream the kids. Bring back appyships. Teach them something useful.
Parents who get back on their feet can "buy" their kids back. Parents who don't care enough to make the effort don't deserve their kids and the kids will be better off under disciplined care.
It will hurt like fuck for a decade, but when those kids go out and there's no dole and no child benefit, they'll go out and make something of their lives. Their kids will be loved and wanted, and properly cared for.
Enough of this shit. I'm tired of paying for feckless fuckwits to ruin lives.
Go fuck yourself with a broken bottle
Barbara Follett thinks this is a good idea:
Anybody who thinks the Tories will be any better?
Here's a better idea: why don't we strap the two of you face down, arse rape you with broken bottles and then let a farm of red ants chew out your eyes?
Ah! The children! Yes, everything must be done for the children, eh? Like everything was done by right-on, ultra-progressive Haringey council for Baby P. That worked out well, didn't it?
No, Barbie, what we need is for you and your hectoring, nannying statist cohorts to grab a nice big mug of shut the fuck up and a healthy slice of get the fuck out of our lives.
You jumped up, overweening, arrogant fuck-faced old cow.
Hat tip to Samizdata.
Politicians are ready to introduce league tables naming and shaming the speed with which internet service providers take down offensive material.
Anybody who thinks the Tories will be any better?
The culture minister, Barbara Follett, and her Tory shadow, Ed Vaizey, have backed the idea that web providers must be embarrassed into dealing with violent, sexually explicit web content.
Here's a better idea: why don't we strap the two of you face down, arse rape you with broken bottles and then let a farm of red ants chew out your eyes?
Follett warned: "We must teach children of the dangers of the internet. It is sad to make children more scared than interested, but fortunately the internet is so interesting that children tend to overcome their fear."
Ah! The children! Yes, everything must be done for the children, eh? Like everything was done by right-on, ultra-progressive Haringey council for Baby P. That worked out well, didn't it?
Follett said: "Many people have said that the internet is like the wild west in the gold rush and that sooner or later it will be regulated. What we need is for it to be regulated sooner rather than later.
No, Barbie, what we need is for you and your hectoring, nannying statist cohorts to grab a nice big mug of shut the fuck up and a healthy slice of get the fuck out of our lives.
You jumped up, overweening, arrogant fuck-faced old cow.
Hat tip to Samizdata.
Although I largely agree with them ...
... I can't help but feel that Austrian economists come across as a rather joyless bunch of Puritans.
Friday, 14 November 2008
Informix Roundup: 14 Nov 2008
Non-geeks may want to look away now.
Welcome to the wodka hangover and travel catch-up edition! Apologies for the absence, I've been avoidably detained!
Belgian developer job. I think.
Something about one of Carlton's books.
New minor version of WinSQL released. Discovered it on a very dodgy warez site that I'm not going to link to! Official version here.
Susan Visser lists the top ten bestsellers at IOD. Guess who made it into the list?
Flan Ronnery gets an award, says he owes it all to Informix.
Craig S. Mullins talks out of his arse. Informix-Zone sets him straight.
UKIUG roundup here and here.
How lucky I was to escape that bonhomie and good food and spend the time instead on a cunting LOT flying cesspit and dealing with DBAs who have never heard of personal hygiene.
Welcome to the wodka hangover and travel catch-up edition! Apologies for the absence, I've been avoidably detained!
Belgian developer job. I think.
Something about one of Carlton's books.
New minor version of WinSQL released. Discovered it on a very dodgy warez site that I'm not going to link to! Official version here.
Susan Visser lists the top ten bestsellers at IOD. Guess who made it into the list?
Flan Ronnery gets an award, says he owes it all to Informix.
Craig S. Mullins talks out of his arse. Informix-Zone sets him straight.
UKIUG roundup here and here.
How lucky I was to escape that bonhomie and good food and spend the time instead on a cunting LOT flying cesspit and dealing with DBAs who have never heard of personal hygiene.
LOT are not the biggest cunts in Poland
No, that goes to the police in the fucking airport, which wouldn't let me through the X-ray check to the departure lounge, because I was flying to Warsaw then London, and not directly to London. The fuckers were armed, which was how they kept me outside, standing round like a fucking cunt until the check in desk officially opened.
Welcome to the 20th century, you cock-biting fucktards!
Welcome to the 20th century, you cock-biting fucktards!
It wosn't The Sun wot wun it!
According to the poll, the Daily Spurt is the design house the Labour Party most seeks to emulate!
Stanislav's second cousin, thrice removed (part 4)
Welcome in the hillside: a shaggy dog story by Sperm Lewis, it is.
As discreetly edited by his learned amanuensis, Owen Twat.
Robot Wars (Part II)
(The story so far. The Working Men's Club has installed an indoor racist, purchased at a fire sale down Barry Island. Sperm and Owen have put it through its paces and pronounced it fit for purpose. Now read on.)
The plan was this. Every Saturday afternoon a fat cunt called Polonius Knobber comes into the Club for a bit of R&R. Called Polonius because his father was a vicar, see? [No - OT] Great prop forward in his day, mind, but nowadays he's got shit all to do except wait for his dole cheque to come through and then drink himself unconscious. This is a well-documented modus vivendi in parts of the Australian outback, Northern Siberia and the length and breadth of Wales, spot the connection.
He always sits at the same table and by three o'clock he is invariably passed out, face-down on his table in a pool of Allbright. So this was the plan. We would rotate the Indoor Racist through a few degrees so it was facing his table, set the dial to Wales, see, wait until he nodded off, stick in a few coins, stand back and watch the fireworks.
At the appointed time, Owen Twat, jangling a load of pound coins, sauntered over to the Indoor Racist, decanted them into the slot and having, so to speak, lit the blue touchpaper, returned to the bar and stood well back. Well, we hadn't a clue what to expect ... but something in my vas deferens told me that the Indoor Racist would not let us down.
Pause.
"Oi, wake up over there, you fat Welsh retard!"
Bugger me if it didn't have an antipodean twang in its voice. Slowly, heads in the Club began to turn.
"Yeah, you in the poxy red shirt. Welsh twat! Meehhhh! ME-E-E-EHHHHH!"
Polonius Knobber was ever so slowly rousing himself from his coma. A wet, beery, bewildered face raised itself from the table and struggled to focus.
"Youse call yourselves a fucking rugby nation? Youse cunts couldn't win a kick in a riot!"
Slightly more incendiary than Danish cartoons to Johnny Mulsim, this was. Polonius Knobber looked as if he were going to hyperventilate.
"You talking to ME?"
"Mincing about on the twenty two, giggling and poking each other like a bunch of screaming queens!
QUEENS!!!"
"You fuckin' talking to ME?!?"
Like a charging bull, Polonius Knobber hauls himself out of his seat and goes galumphing over to settle with the Indoor Racist, only to be stopped short by a kick in the gonads that would have done credit to Neil Jenkins in his prime.
Polonius Knobber froze for about five seconds with his mouth open and his hands over his crotch, like a Frankenstein's monster in a film with the sound turned down, before keeling backwards, upsetting old Mrs Llamprey's table, her pale ale and her Pomeranian dog.
It was at this point that all hell broke loose. The Indoor Racist's arm shot up again and (presumably in default mode) he started belting out:
"ES SCHAUN AUFS HAKENKRAUZ VOLL HOFFNUNG SCHON MILLIONEN.
DER TAG FÜR FREINHEIT UND FÜR BROT BRICHT AN! "
Some of the old boys could just about remember that little marching song - and they didn't like it. Everybody piled in like it was a Wild West film, see? Flying glasses, old Mrs Llamprey twatting the Indoor Racist over the head with a furled umbrella. The Pomeranian dog was attacking anything that moved; the automaton had gone into Bruce Lee mode, bodies being hurled through windows, the lot. One man had a sphere on his head! Polonius Knobber still stretched out rigid in shy naturist pose on the floor.
As is customary in melées like this (!), the Indoor Racist managed to escape and was last seen legging it towards the canal. The town went out looking for him that night, mind. Some with electic torches, most of them making do with fence posts wrapped up in a bit of tarpaulin soaked in paraffin. When someone said they'd spotted the Indoor Racist on the balcony of the Town Hall, in the traditional Nüremburg posture, everyone piled down there and congregated at the steps, brandishing their torches and hurling abuse.
And, you know what? Some canny chancer lurking in the background (in fact, one Owain Arwel Twat of this parish) goes and takes a photo.
Dieu, you should have seen the shit hit the fan when that made the front page of the South Wales Argus. Tourist Board closed down the town's website and the whole place was crawling with diversity counsellors from Caerdiff, cos each and every one of us had to have one-on-one counselling, see? 'Cept for Owen. He went on to a very lucrative career as a faceless bureaucrat with a big fuck off final salary pension, look you. Doing very nicely he is, diolch yn fawr.
Needless to say that after these shenanigans, the Indoor Racist was:
1. Out the Club.
2. On his arse.
3. In the street.
By way of a ghoulish coda or epilogue, some weeks later he climbs out of a skip at the dead of night, comes up behind a local slapper and honks her norks, prompting an attack of hysterics that woke the whole town.
And far as we know, the indoor racist is still on the loose. Only last week, he surfaced from a manhole in Dogturd Park*, startling three winos sitting on a bench. And something tells me, we haven't heard the last of him, see? ;-)
(Fin)
* aka Parc Dwgtwrd (OT)
As discreetly edited by his learned amanuensis, Owen Twat.
Robot Wars (Part II)
(The story so far. The Working Men's Club has installed an indoor racist, purchased at a fire sale down Barry Island. Sperm and Owen have put it through its paces and pronounced it fit for purpose. Now read on.)
The plan was this. Every Saturday afternoon a fat cunt called Polonius Knobber comes into the Club for a bit of R&R. Called Polonius because his father was a vicar, see? [No - OT] Great prop forward in his day, mind, but nowadays he's got shit all to do except wait for his dole cheque to come through and then drink himself unconscious. This is a well-documented modus vivendi in parts of the Australian outback, Northern Siberia and the length and breadth of Wales, spot the connection.
He always sits at the same table and by three o'clock he is invariably passed out, face-down on his table in a pool of Allbright. So this was the plan. We would rotate the Indoor Racist through a few degrees so it was facing his table, set the dial to Wales, see, wait until he nodded off, stick in a few coins, stand back and watch the fireworks.
At the appointed time, Owen Twat, jangling a load of pound coins, sauntered over to the Indoor Racist, decanted them into the slot and having, so to speak, lit the blue touchpaper, returned to the bar and stood well back. Well, we hadn't a clue what to expect ... but something in my vas deferens told me that the Indoor Racist would not let us down.
Pause.
"Oi, wake up over there, you fat Welsh retard!"
Bugger me if it didn't have an antipodean twang in its voice. Slowly, heads in the Club began to turn.
"Yeah, you in the poxy red shirt. Welsh twat! Meehhhh! ME-E-E-EHHHHH!"
Polonius Knobber was ever so slowly rousing himself from his coma. A wet, beery, bewildered face raised itself from the table and struggled to focus.
"Youse call yourselves a fucking rugby nation? Youse cunts couldn't win a kick in a riot!"
Slightly more incendiary than Danish cartoons to Johnny Mulsim, this was. Polonius Knobber looked as if he were going to hyperventilate.
"You talking to ME?"
"Mincing about on the twenty two, giggling and poking each other like a bunch of screaming queens!
QUEENS!!!"
"You fuckin' talking to ME?!?"
Like a charging bull, Polonius Knobber hauls himself out of his seat and goes galumphing over to settle with the Indoor Racist, only to be stopped short by a kick in the gonads that would have done credit to Neil Jenkins in his prime.
Polonius Knobber froze for about five seconds with his mouth open and his hands over his crotch, like a Frankenstein's monster in a film with the sound turned down, before keeling backwards, upsetting old Mrs Llamprey's table, her pale ale and her Pomeranian dog.
It was at this point that all hell broke loose. The Indoor Racist's arm shot up again and (presumably in default mode) he started belting out:
"ES SCHAUN AUFS HAKENKRAUZ VOLL HOFFNUNG SCHON MILLIONEN.
DER TAG FÜR FREINHEIT UND FÜR BROT BRICHT AN! "
Some of the old boys could just about remember that little marching song - and they didn't like it. Everybody piled in like it was a Wild West film, see? Flying glasses, old Mrs Llamprey twatting the Indoor Racist over the head with a furled umbrella. The Pomeranian dog was attacking anything that moved; the automaton had gone into Bruce Lee mode, bodies being hurled through windows, the lot. One man had a sphere on his head! Polonius Knobber still stretched out rigid in shy naturist pose on the floor.
As is customary in melées like this (!), the Indoor Racist managed to escape and was last seen legging it towards the canal. The town went out looking for him that night, mind. Some with electic torches, most of them making do with fence posts wrapped up in a bit of tarpaulin soaked in paraffin. When someone said they'd spotted the Indoor Racist on the balcony of the Town Hall, in the traditional Nüremburg posture, everyone piled down there and congregated at the steps, brandishing their torches and hurling abuse.
And, you know what? Some canny chancer lurking in the background (in fact, one Owain Arwel Twat of this parish) goes and takes a photo.
Dieu, you should have seen the shit hit the fan when that made the front page of the South Wales Argus. Tourist Board closed down the town's website and the whole place was crawling with diversity counsellors from Caerdiff, cos each and every one of us had to have one-on-one counselling, see? 'Cept for Owen. He went on to a very lucrative career as a faceless bureaucrat with a big fuck off final salary pension, look you. Doing very nicely he is, diolch yn fawr.
Needless to say that after these shenanigans, the Indoor Racist was:
1. Out the Club.
2. On his arse.
3. In the street.
By way of a ghoulish coda or epilogue, some weeks later he climbs out of a skip at the dead of night, comes up behind a local slapper and honks her norks, prompting an attack of hysterics that woke the whole town.
And far as we know, the indoor racist is still on the loose. Only last week, he surfaced from a manhole in Dogturd Park*, startling three winos sitting on a bench. And something tells me, we haven't heard the last of him, see? ;-)
(Fin)
* aka Parc Dwgtwrd (OT)
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