Obnoxio The Clown

Tip of the clown wig to the Zanzibarian.

Those of us with fond memories of Steve Ballmer will enjoy this:

Guido suspects that President Asif Ali Zardari of Pakistan is no fool, he saw what happened to the Mexicans after their President, Felipe Calderon, shook hands with Jonah Brown. He acted in Pakistan’s national interest, cancelling a scheduled meeting with the Prime Mentalist. What was the upside for Zardari in shaking hands with the manic, mincing madman? Cancelling the meeting was his patriotic duty.

I think I have new tagline!

*Part of me does believe that Obnoxio the Clown will play a role in the End of Days. I don't know why, it is just a nagging feeling.

Sounds like GM is closing down the Pontiac division, which means no more cars like this ...

"Felching and fisting, mommy."

"That's nice."

"Mr Gadd says we need to bring some Crisco in next week for a practical."

Sounds like his spazzy "dance and smile" act didn't work.

Jesus, talk about a voice from the past:

"To pick on a small group of people is not the basis of a tax policy," the former Transport Secretary said. Why was it timed to come in before the election next year, "when this is clearly political positioning rather than a principled or strategic approach to taxation."

You know you're a dead man walking when even that useless cunt feels like he can proffer his ha'penny-worth.

Via DK, this:

Jack Straw is a serial killer. The sort whose neighbours say 'such a nice quiet chap. Keeps himself to himself.' Until the police break in and find he's got a fridge full of severed willies and a month-dead rent boy sitting on the sofa. Look at the face, for God's sake. Look at the eyes.

It's Fred Westminster.

What's your favourite?

Don't ya think?

Tip of the clown wig to Gweeds.

Iain Dale is working himself into a frenzy about Camera-on's speech:

This afternoon David Cameron is making what I think might be one of the most important speech of his leadership so far. it's a landmark speech in that it sends out a very clear signal about the direction a future Conservative government will take.

And what is in this speech? Well, a couple of good jokes about distraction burglary and flint-faced accountants, but nothing of any substance. Lots of vague platitudes about doing "more with less" and "tough times".

Jesus, we really are fucked. Cameron hasn't got the balls to do what needs to be done, he's too Blairlite. We don't need Blair, we need a Thatcher or a fucking Churchill.

No fair cheating, you have to read the whole article.

... please sign this petition.

Via Chrysippus in the comments, this.

But not any more:

For instance, having visited the press box at Lords and dined with cricket correspondents in the Caribbean, I can claim that the lobby has a far better record of turning over politicians who deserve it than sports journalists, who mostly turn a blind eye to the nocturnal activities of sports stars.

I suppose it's too much to ask of a Gurndiaa journo to turn the government over, but since 1997 the press has been utterly shit at holding the government to account. So go fuck yourself and your fat florid friend.

Cunt.

Just reading the papers yesterday brought on palpitations. I've decided I'm going to try and avoid blogging about political issues for a day or two for the sake of my health.

I don't know if I will succeed.

Loyalty360 Is wondering, as picky of an eater as I am, how much weight will I lose during my European tour? Thank GOD I found a Subway.

You're not the type to read widely on an important subject, but you are the type to sit in the pub and drunkenly go on and on about things you know absolutely nothing about.

Not far wrong.

Sheer genius.

Non-techies may want to look away now.

UK IDS bootcamp. Places still available.

More developments in the Amazon cloud.

Job in Minneapolis. Pooves only, by the look of it!

Job in Chennai.

Informix video from Germany. Sadly entirely donkey porn free.

New issue of the IBM Database magazine.

IIUG Conference guide. Looks good, pity my bastard employer is working me to death instead of shipping me overto Kansas. :o(

Job in Tampa. Go Timmy!

Job in Sacramento.

Eric is twatting.

Job in Bangalore.

Informix and Gaia.

Fernando returns null.

Job in Newark.

Eric on interoperability.

Fernando gets real. Or is it authentic?

Eric stirs.

Jacques is green.

... here's something to keep you busy for a while.

Brian Micklethwaite of Samizdata has an excellent post on the matter here:

There is just so much ideological overlap between the big parties these days that Balfe could switch parties without himself moving his position.

This is something I've said myself many times. (Just not as concisely!)

One of the commenters adds:

There are no "parties". There is just one big political class, complete with a full set of emblems, trappings and rituals.

And that truly is Tony Blair's legacy: in a decade, he managed to transform British politics from whatever it been over the last 500 years into a class of grasping, self-obsessed, entirely unaccountable, entirely useless and entirely interchangeable Lego parts.

That's the only reason I can think of. The Speccie does a light fisk here.

Bobshead Revisited is revisiting us:

You've got a lot on at work this week, what with fannying around drinking coffee and posting off-the-top-of-your-head lies to people you don't even know on Twitter. Be careful though, there’s a real danger of some actual work heading your way on Thursday. But you can always ‘delegate’ can’t you? Workshy scum.

Uncanny, really.

... is anyone else slightly uncomfortable about this?

The shut-down of two RAF Tornado squadrons is to go ahead a year early in order to save money, leaving Britain with just eight aircraft kept ready to protect its skies, it has been reported.

I realise there isn't really a visible threat, but fucking hell, an airforce of eight active planes ... ?

Do you REALLY believe that it is more important to shore up Labour's client voters with dole money than protect the country from invasion? Fucking hell, even the Italians could take us now.

Labour MPs feast on the body politic, earlier

I don't know when the doctor will pronounce, but the Labour government is, de facto, dead. The useless media have suddenly woken up to the corruption and incompetence that has been visible to anybody who wanted to look for the last decade, even "Toenails" Robinson has dared to speak ill of the Bollock Juggler.

The formerly supine media is full of articles about how they were complicit in the farce of briefings and stabbings in order to maintain "access" to useless cock-sniffing politicians and their malign media handlers. Suddenly, they're all rushing to get out articles about how this is not an isolated incident. Labour MPs have started resigning in protest at the smears, nothing to do with the expenses hoo-ha that will be here in June, no sir! Other MP's have finally grown a set and stopped letting themselves be whipped into lobby fodder and have dared to say things that are not entirely progressive and pretend that they're all independent.

But despite the omens being good, I wouldn't put it past the incredibly apathetic British public to vote the useless cunts in again. It wouldn't matter, really, it would probably turn out to be quite a laugh as petty spite and rivalry shredded the Labour Party into hundreds of one-man cliques. And anyway, the Tories are going to be equally useless, can you really see Boy George taking anything like a difficult decision? Can you really see Call Me Dave doing anything bold and decisive when it might fuck his approval rating?

So, Labour is now dead. The corpse may still be trundling around aimlessly, demanding "bbbbbrrrrrrraaaaAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNSSSsssssss", they may even win an election against the useless Tories, but really, they are over. All that remains is the bickering and squabbling over the rancid corpse of British politics.

God help whoever "wins".

Or perhaps not:

"I can't think of any other country that doesn't use water cannons, CS gas, rubber bullets. Our approach is proportionate and has delivered on a number of occasions."

Why would you want all that long-range, impersonal stuff? It can't compete with the pleasure of beating the crap out of someone with your own hands, can it?

Fucking cunt.

Yawn:

Chancellor Alistair Darling is expected to announce some £15bn of spending cuts over the next few years when he delivers his Budget statement.

He will say the money can be found by making Whitehall more efficient.

Yeah, whatever. Pull the other one. The only way you reduce costs is if they walk out the door. And we all know that's not going to happen on Labour's watch.

Meanwhile ...

"Even if the chancellor cared, and he doesn't, and even if the government did implement efficiency savings, which it won't, £15bn would have about as much impact as a toddler slapping a whale."

The smear campaign fiasco isn't a reason to go all goody-two-shoes on the public just get more sophisticated in attacks - use inuendo & employ a clebrity mag editor for knowing how to walk the line between a legal half-truth & damaging lie.

-- Kevin Hollingsworth, in the comments here.

"Just do it better next time", the mantra of lefties everywhere.

Update: Apparently, the ends justify the means:

If most people had the capacity for independant thought politics wouldn't be a swamp. This is simply because the populace would be engaged in the process rather than thowing turnips from the sidelines. Since it is a swamp you've got to play by the conditions found in that environment. No one needs to be a sheeple - all are free choose in a democracy, even if it is a dodgy democracy.

Even better, it's not Labour's fault that the Red Rag was being initiated, it's the voters' fault!

Unbefuckinglievable!

As I recall, the police camera'ed up in a big way for the G20 riots, yet somehow all the evidence for claims of police brutality (I feel like Rik, just typing the words!) has come from other sources. Somehow, the police cameras managed to miss all of it.

And it doesn't look good for the officers involved, especially now another one has come to light:

A third incident connected to the G20 protests in London earlier this month has been referred to the Independent Police Complaints Commission (IPCC), Scotland Yard said today.

It's a good thing I'm not cynical, or I'd think the police's enthusiasm for clamping down on photography might have something to do with a concerted effort on their part to act like cunts.

Now? Nothing:

According to the whistleblower – whose account was confirmed by a minister who described Balls’s activities as “unforgiveable” – Mandelson is particularly frustrated by the “shadow operation” and is desperate for “someone to bring order” to the mess inside No 10. His preferred candidate is Alastair Campbell, Blair’s former spin doctor.

It is understood that Brown has made it clear to Campbell that he can have “whatever he wants” in exchange for returning to a full-time role at No 10, including a peerage.

It seems that republicans think it's corrupt for the queen to ennoble anyone. But here we have a corrupt, money-grubbing Eurocrat telling the Prime Mentalist to give a mendacious, corrupt media whore a peerage in exchange for more fucking poison dripping.

Some days it just really isn't worth chewing through the restraints.

Guido confesses what really made him stitch up McBride:

A minute later someone jostled his left arm, spilling Guinness. Guido turned to see a bloated Damian McBride, tenner in hand, looking straight ahead and studiously ignoring him in a definitely-not-apologising manner. So do you punch the Prime Minister’s spin doctor in the face there and then, or given you are a Guinness drinker, take your time over getting revenge? “Good things come to those who wait.”

What a fucking tool:

“Yes, I’m white,” he said, stepping up to the podium. “But I do have a Blackberry!” He waved it in the air triumphantly. “I now have four thousand friends on Facebook!” he said. “In politics I would be lucky to have half a dozen.”

Pie-munching, fist-waving, Jag-driving, chipolata-bearing oaf.

Fucking hell:

Three cheers for Peter Wilby’s timely call for a radical reform of the tax system, and not least for an end to the myth, so convenient to high earners, that progressive taxation is a disincentive to effort and innovation. And while we’re about it, why not ditch the negative concept of taxation as a "burden" and talk about "the privilege of taxation" instead? I’m quite sure that those of us at or below the average income of around £23,000 a year would be delighted to be taxed at 50% if our taxable incomes were more than £50,000 a year, never mind the government’s rather pathetic 45% for incomes over £150,000. It’s time our highly paid politicians got real.

What fucking planet do these cunts live on?

Oh dear, poison is dripping, well, spurting -- left, right and centre:

ED BALLS, the schools secretary, used Damian McBride, the disgraced spin doctor, to smear ministerial rivals and advance his own ambitions, a Downing Street whistleblower has claimed.

In an explosive new twist to the e-mail affair, a No 10 insider has revealed that Balls was the mastermind behind a “dark arts” operation by McBride to undermine colleagues.

He claims the education secretary is running a destabilising “shadow operation” inside Downing Street to clear his path for the party leadership if Labour loses the next election.

The insider said: “There is now an operation within an operation at No 10 and it answers to Ed Balls.”

Apart from the meta-irony of it all, does this not sound like ferrets in a sack, or what?

I foresee huge amounts of guilty blinking in upcoming interviews...

@OldHoborn: Just met the ranting penguin for a pint or two. He looks *just* like Brad Pitt

Here we fucking go ... again:

Motorists driving on residential roads and near schools will be forced to obey a strict 20mph limit, under proposals to be unveiled next week.

Limits on roads which are known to be accident black spots could also be reduced.

Ministers – who are keen to improve road safety but not to alienate motorists – will also indicate that new speed cameras should only be placed in areas where crashes occur frequently.

Too fucking late, you bunch of cock-gobbling fucktards. We are already alienated to fucking 2003UB313.

Stop fucking making motorists lives a fucking misery you utter fucking cunts.

Lost for comment

Tip of the clown wig to Laudanum.

Inspired by this:

1. Abolish Pay As You Earn,
2. All taxes to be paid in person, in cash, on April 5.
3. Any council, parliamentary or European election may only take place between April 10 and April 20.

Oh, and people who don't pay tax, don't get a vote.

Left-wing Marxist and Right-wing Libertarian concur:

Nevertheless, this state of affairs underlines once again the ideological poverty underlying all of contemporary politics.

I think people are tired of the unedifying spectacle of slick operators knifing each other for a turn at the levers of power. People want to see a government that stands for something other than sophistry.

As much as I would hate to see a return to overt statism and the power of the Brothers, at least a Marxist government would have a direction -- even if it was straight over the nearest cliff. Or, even better, a Libertarian government which dismantled the government and let people live without fear of those who are suppose to serve them.

This rudderless centrist rearranging of the Titanic's deckchairs makes only one group of people happy: the trough-snuffling oligarchs and their coterie of running dogs.

If I may borrow a phrase!

I suppose he was Austrian, so he could have been a far-right terrorist, but it does seem more likely that actually, the police once again just had their fucking heads up their own arseholes AGAIN:

Like most visitors to London, Klaus Matzka and his teenage son Loris took several photographs of some of the city's sights, including the famous red double-decker buses. More unusually perhaps, they also took pictures of the Vauxhall bus station, which Matzka regards as "modern sculpture".
But the tourists have said they had to return home to Vienna without their holiday pictures after two policemen forced them to delete the photographs from their cameras in the name of preventing terrorism.
Matkza, a 69-year-old retired television cameraman with a taste for modern architecture, was told that photographing anything to do with transport was "strictly forbidden". The policemen also recorded the pair's details, including passport numbers and hotel addresses.

Why? What the cunting fuck do the police fucking think is suspicious about taking fucking photos, then?

A spokeswoman for Metropolitan police said: "It is not the police's intention to prevent tourists from taking photographs and we are looking to the allegations made." The force said it had no knowledge of any ban on photographing public transport in the capital.

Maybe you need to fucking tell the cocksucking little Führers that work for you that.

You will be missed.

Or perhaps not:

The publication of all MPs' receipts is a time bomb waiting to explode in July. Government whips speak of the danger of byelections, and even suicides, when they are made public.

We live in hope.

Really, if there are only a few bad apples and if it's all within the rules anyway, why are they all shitting themselves?

Tip of the clown wig to the man who was never going to blog again.

While my fucking dander is up, you fucking cunts can go fuck yourselves and all:

But Home Office sources drew attention to the DPP’s conclusion — that a police investigation was “inevitable” because of the pattern of the leaks and the damage they were doing. They said that both the DPP’s statement and an imminent internal investigation suggested that Mr Green’s actions had fallen below those expected of an MP. “He’s not emerged from this whiter than white. His crowing has been premature,” they said.

Jesus H. Christ on a fucking trike. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU FUCKING CUNTS? DO YOU NOT HAVE ANY FUCKING BETTER THING TO DO THAN SMEAR PEOPLE TO TRY AND DEFLECT ATTENTION FROM YOUR OWN ARROGANCE AND INCOMPETENCE?

The fucking Home Office: number one in my list of government departments to abolish completely and rebuild from scratch.

No.

Whitehall sources unleashed an extraordinary salvo at Christopher Galley, the civil servant who leaked to Mr Green but was also freed from the threat of criminal prosecution. One labelled him a “complete loser”. Claiming that he had used a term from Star Trek as a computer log-in, an insider said: “That says it all, doesn’t it. The guy was a laughing stock.”

Really, I don't know where to start.

1. Has the Times not noticed that people don't like the press's collusion with the government in dripping poison? So why the cunting fuck are they quoting "Whitehall sources" and "an insider"?
2. Has the government not noticed that people have just been exposed to the dodgy workings of how they smear people? So why the cunting fuck would we give these fucking Whitehall sources and insiders anything but a hearty "FUCK OFF, YOU BASTARDING CUNTS"?

Fuck. Nothing's going to change, is it?

The man is such a fucking tool**:

Open contempt for politicians is neither daring nor clever

Fuck off, you sanctimonious twat: if the press hadn't been sucking Brown (and Blair and and and ...) cock so hard over the years, they wouldn't have been able to fuck the country up as much as they have.

But spare us, please, any more piety from those who know politics is partly and unavoidably a bloody, multi-layered battle between two sides. They know because they have become part of the battle.

Are you fucking wilfully stupid, Steve? Well, yes, I guess you are because you still suck Labour's cock after a decade of disaster, waste and fascism. Let me make it clear:

1. NOBODY THINKS POLITICS IS PURE.
2. NOBODY THINKS THE TORIES OR LIB DEMS ARE DIFFERENT.
3. THESE GUYS WERE ABUSING TAXPAYER MONEY TO FUND THE SMEARING OF THEIR OPPONENTS. THE TORIES AND LIBDEMS AND EVERY OTHER SMEARY MOTHERFUCKER IS USING THEIR OWN MONEY OR MONEY VOLUNTARILY GIVEN TO THEM.
4. YOU ARE A FUCKING MORON.

I hope this makes it clear, you fucking idiot.

*Cock Sucker Extraordinaire

**of corrupt politicians

No, this isn't another story creeping out of the woodwork:

Does Derek deserve a third chance? I think he does.

Fuck off, you idiotic cunt, and take that poisonous, bullying fuckwit with you.

I've just gone and soiled myself all over again:

Don't you dare tell anybody about what happened last night" he hissed "Don't you dare or I will destroy you. I know more people in the Tory party than you. And I can make sure your career in politics is destroyed".

Oh dear, oh dear ... oh dear ... hahahahahahahaha ...

Tip of the clown wig to rather quiet of late, but still infinitely desirable Trixy.

ITN call when I am on the second bottle of Margaux: could they have a quick response to the news? The first question begins ‘So Mr Draper...’ — they have mixed us up — ‘what is your response to the news of Mr McBride’s resignation?’ I decide to say what Draper should say. I apologise profusely and tell them, ‘I am considering my position.’ They broadcast my impersonation at about 5 p.m. Just the once.

Hahahahaha ...

... when other people can do it for you?

You can suck my sweaty ballsack, you fucking haggard transvestite-looking bitch, if you think I'll happily accept these authoritarian bullshit measures.

Hahahaha!!!

it was hard to find anyone who recognised him

Useless twat.

The BNP manifesto reads like our 1983 manifesto!

Really? And yet people persist in saying that the BNP is a right wing party.

Not me this time:

I am sorry that I have been forced to reintroduce comment moderation. Those of you who read any of the threads last night will know why. During the course of yesterday evening, I received more than 40 - yes, 40 - phonecalls on my mobile phone, as well as emails and a bombarding of this blog from a single person. Various threats were made in those phonecalls. I just received another one threatening to launch a war in the comments of this blog - and worse. I have therefore no choice but to reintroduce comment moderation. I will try to approve comments as soon as possible, but it will inevitably disrupt the live nature of debate today.

Liberal bloggers, eh? Always trying to raise the tone of discourse ...

He beat British Transport Police chief constable Ian Johnston and Cambridgeshire Police Chief Julie Spence in a ballot of senior officers across Britain.

Which is, I'm sure you'll agree, an interesting way of choosing the new chief executive of a commercial enterprise.

Sir Hugh said: "I believe that UK policing is strongest when it is professional, operationally independent, and based on trust and accountability.

"Above all, our decisions should be tested against the reason for which we all joined policing: the protection of the public."

Oh, look: a flying pig.

As it were.

Tip of the clown wig to The Whited Sepulchre.

I've been deeply worried about my daughter for a while now. She's become surly, uncooperative and unpleasant. While she was out today, I went into her room and I was shocked at what I found. I'm not sure how to cope with it. I don't know whether to go to the police or try and get counselling for her. I feel like such a failure as a parent, it goes against every bit of the upbringing I've tried to give her.

She's reading Kerrang.

Ross deserves a medal for all the work he has done:

The biggest outrage here is that the Labour Party chose Derek Draper to spearhead their online media operation when there were other bloggers on the left who would have been much better suited for such a task of constructing a tediously partisan echo chamber, bloggers who are in touch with ethnic issues and trim their beards into gorgeous goatee styles rather than the Draper style tramp look. Please pay attention to me!

Words fail me. In a great year for blogging, Ross has lifted the bar to a new level.

Bastard.

Thomas Paine has a soul withering post here.

The whole system really does have to be ripped down and restarted, does it not?

Update: TDM transcends satire again.

Unfortunately it being a counter-attack organised by idiots the woman being got at was a woman with the same name working in the same industry.

Hahahahahahaha ...

... that no-one can possibly compete:

100% of those surveyed said: "What the fuck did you just ask me?"

From Downing St's perspective, proper letters of apology could have taken some of the sting out of the situation, and prevented the story from recycling itself. Instead, Brown has merely delivered more ammunition to be used against him.

In case anyone thought Gorgon wasn't keen on smearing ...

It is also funny (and worrying) that the woman who is supposed to be responsible for the security of our country couldn’t stop a couple of reporters from fixing a blue plaque to her house at eight in the morning on Easter Monday. We found the house on Street View (there were two coppers sitting outside her door) and no one stopped us as we fiddled around outside suspiciously for about 20 minutes. We are being asked in Stasi-esque police adverts to ‘trust our instincts’ and report possible terrorist activity (i.e. call the fuzz if the towel-heads move in next door). But surely if the millions of terrorist cells here in the UK were really poised to attack then they would be doing it right now. I wonder if they’re sitting at home reading about our stunt in The Sun saying, “A thousand curses! If only we had thought to use the internet to find Jacqui Smith’s house, could have blown that filthy porn-guzzling infidel limb from limb by now!”

Genius.

Could it be the monster for didgeridoo replacement?

Never mind Tom, you'll have more time to spend with your pies.

It's an ancient Chinese proverb, eloquently articulated by Mrs Dale:

So let's not listen to Brown's weasel words on this. He had the chance to reform the system ages ago and funked it.

... here.

Awesome!

What a fucking crock of shit:

In the end, the difference between quality newspapers and even serious blogs is that your default reaction to a newspaper piece should be that it is true, whereas your default reaction to a blog post should be that it might be true, but it might equally well be a pack of lies.

What, Steve, you mean like the truth the Telegraph tried to feed us when the story broke?

You're a fucking tool.

... you're in for a big surprise.

Tory Bear has been doing some digging.

Hur, hur, hur ... this is going to run and run ...

A blue one, what an honour!

Tip of the clown wig to Guido and Fido.

Tom Watson's been awful fucking quiet of late. No twats (and he's made his feed private), no blog posts, no telly appearances, denials out via some very strange sources ... Not a very engaged "minister for digital engagement", is he? Not even a propah bloggah.

Maybe he's out riding his Segway ...

... or maybe he's out eating pies ... or maybe he's just behind a video camera somewhere.

I have just posted on how we should not allow Sleazegate to die and suddenly another name has come into the frame, ironically via the Telegraph (which had allowed itself to be used to spin for McBride before the shitstorm really kicked in). Anyway:

On a day to day basis, the war room is run by Liam Byrne, the Cabinet Office Minister. He is assisted by Mr Watson, another long-time advisor and attack dog.

And that struck a chord with something in my last post:

Liam Byrne has been carefully defining the question for us today: who knew about the emails?

That's a very good question, Liam. Did you know? Mr Watson was CC'ed in on the emails, yet denies any knowledge of the plan to smear. That seems hard to swallow, no matter how many emails he gets in a day. And if he read them, did he discuss them with you?

Is Captain Capuccino the next head to roll?

At the risk of sounding pompous, bloggers have a duty not to let this one die:

McBride's quick depature had three objectives.
1. Close down the story. This seems to have worked: today's news doesn't have many more developments. If tomorrow's papers have nothing new, then Damiangate may not last until Wednesday. This would be, in the circumstances, the best possible outcome for Brown as there is a far more dangerous aspect to this story as yet unwritten: how the tactics exposed by McBride's emails (ie, character assassination) were the weapon used by Team Brown to take out his potential rivals for No.10. This time, the Tories were the target - but similar tactics were used to destabilise a long line of former (and some serving) Cabinet members.
2. Position McBride for quick return. Crucially, McBride is only down for a minor offence: sending "juvenile" emails. Which (as Draper keeps telling us) he did in an hour. And McBride himself has said he's gone simply to honour an old spin doctor code: when you become the story, you have to go. Sounds almost noble of him. Mark my words: McBride is the best spinner Brown has. He can be courteous, informative and immensely useful to the journalists he regards as strategically important. His skill in bridge-building with potentially hostile papers is too valuable to lose during an election campaign. He'll be back.
3. Protect others potentially involved. Liam Byrne has been carefully defining the question for us today: who knew about the emails? The real question is who knew about the concept of a Red Rag attack site. Who approved it? Is No10 really so dysfunctional that the PM's chief of strategy and communications can be allowed to freelance in this manner? More people will have known about all this. It's called Black Ops, it has to be deniable - but plenty people will have known something was up. McBride's quick departure is designed to stop people asking who these people were.
We'll have a clearer idea tomorrow if this Bob Quick approach to crisis management has been successful. But under the circumstances, it's looking good so far.

We have to keep turning this over, precisely because the Gorgon wants it to go away. And if it does go away, cui bono?

Don't let this one die.

Update: Alastair Campbell, of all people, hints that there is more to come.

I guess this is why.

Update: Fidel Cuntstruck makes an interesting point in the comments. I wonder how people like Tom Harris MP, Nadine Dorries MP, Douglas Carswell MP, Don Bordreaux, Tim Montgomerie, Iain Dale etc., etc., would feel about being described as "sociopathic egotists with extreme views".

Anyway, MacWhirter, you jumped-up little cuntwaft, what the fuck makes you so fucking special? I'd never heard of you until a fucking blogger brought you to my attention.

Cunt.

What a tool:

Blogging will only increase the sleaze - unless we stop it

So, what is mister Hundal's genius plan to stop the corruption that comes with a larger state?

Simple! He's going to slag off people who have an "anti-politics libertarian bent" and abuse "libertarianism". In other words, if only some semi-libertarian lunatic hadn't decided to shine a light on sleazy Labour, politics would be a much better place.

Sunny, you're a fool. Accountability, something the press have become utterly useless at, has gone out the window. But accountability is what improves politics. And I really do not fucking buy into this tenuous argument:

A lot of newspapers have focused on how New Labour has always been about spin and briefings and back-stabbings. Perhaps. But it’s naive to pretend the Conservative party is immune from this - after all they’ve always looked towards the Republicans for strategic and ideological guidance and they are the original masters of this strategy.

I disagree with you on two points:
1. The Tories do not look towards the Republicans for strategic and ideological guidance, their ideology is not significantly different to Labour or the LibDems. The only differences are the colour of the ties, as far as the voter is concerned. I WISH the Tories were taking ideas from the Republicans.

2. Do you really think the Democrats have never run a negative campaign? Why do you think they kept losing for the last decade, against a shaved chimp, for fuck's sake!

But anyway, on this ludicrous post, someone called "Will Rhodes" wrote a piece of Fabian-approved cock-sucking:

The holier-than-thou attitude sickens me with libertarians - “We have it right and no one else can understand this” bullshit needs to be dropped. You want a society where everyone is left to fend for themselves, boot-straps and no legs and all that. Your ideal is sick.

The Devil then fisked him. Sunny looked at the Devil's arguments, marshalled his considerable intellect, and decided to rebut them by stripping the vowels out of DK's comment. He did this to OH as well.

Fortunately, DK has the full version here.

Now, you could argue that DK was far too sarcastic in making his case, but hey! Sunny is a big fan of free speech, isn't he? Surely he wouldn't mind? Well, clearly he does object to anything like critical comment, so I'm pre-emptively putting my own reply down as the rest of this post:

If they come over to our space to engage in drive-by trolling, they’ll get abuse in return, while having their own contributions mangled. Life is harsh, man.

Really? Drive-by trolling? In other words, anyone who disagrees with your point of view, and decides to put down a constructive argument against it is a drive-by troll. So you can chuck freedom of speech out the window, despite your posturing; indulge in the most incredibly petty disfigurement of a critical comment and then say:
Life is harsh, man.

In other words, you only tolerate people who agree with your point of view.

I didn’t realise the dedication to free speech meant I had to tolerate abuse and trolling on our blog too.

I'm not at all surprised that you struggle with this, since you clearly have no idea of what free speech actually is. Free speech means people can say whatever they like, whether it agrees with you or not. Free speech is not "people can say whatever they like, as long as it's aligned with Fabian principles."

Life is harsh. Free speech is even harsher.

And you are just another wannabe bully-boy lefty, hoping to shut down anyone who doesn't agree with you. Because you're always right, aren't you? You've never, ever made a mistake, have you? And you know far better than anyone else how people should all live their lives and how people should all think, don't you?

Your inability to argue your case and resorting to playground bully-boy tactics shows just how much strength the Fabian case for society has: none at all.

Go ahead, strip the vowels out of this as well, it's a mechanical exercise that any fool without the wit to actually argue his case can do. And you certainly are a fool without the wit to argue your case.

Update: You know it's bad when a LibDem can savage you.

Update 2: Let's see how long my post remains unmolested.

Sarah said, “Thank you Mandy, Michelle and I really appreciated visiting that nursery in Hackney”. Think nothing of it, Poppets, I exist only to put a smile on the face of the little chilluns. Neither of them can tell Hackney from the Zoological Gardens, which is where they were really taken. I set up a captive breeding programme some time ago to produce perfect PR tots, all with curly hair and eyes like Maltesers.

The woman truly is a genius.

Update: Apparently, this is actually written by the legendary Woman on a Raft, who is one of the most underrated bloggers out there and richly deserves a bigger audience. So many bloggers, so little time!

Update 2: Just re-read the post. Fucking hell, how did I miss the clues?

The Amazon reviewers have not been kind, nor have the people tagging his offering.

Tip of the clown wig to OH.

The political blogosphere is, in fact, far more than a sleazy sideshow of arrogant white middle-aged men screeching like apes, rolling about in their own faeces and wanking angrily at each other.

-- Laurie Penny, showing a remarkably interesting set of fascinations on LaboursLost. Looks like Dolly Draper is rubbing off on her, which would explain a fair bit ...

Genius:

I've only just found out about Britain's Got Talent and I've had a radical cool idea for if it comes to Belfast.

Read and see if that is not the single best thing that could happen to reality TV, ever.

That's the thing about a twat; you can dress it up, trim its hair and even spray it with perfume, but it will still look, smell and act like a twat; and once you've seen a twat once, you'll recognise one a mile off for the rest of your life.

Mr E shows us all how it's done.

Even Moonbat doesn't get this kind of praise from his commentariat!

Tip of the clown wig to Guido.

The latest MP caught with his hands in the till:

Government minister Liam Byrne has apologised for using House of Commons envelopes for sending mail to residents in Birmingham and has blamed a volunteer for the gaffe.

I find it hard to believe that the ultimate control freak actually does not tell his staff exactly what to do. Still, if you voluntarily work for a cunt like that, I suppose you deserve everything you get.

Tip of the clown wig to Praguetory in Guido's comments.

Update: Speaker Martin's wife travels first class at taxpayer expense. Pink porker snuffling at its finest. And remember, he's in charge of sorting out the mess. Just how good a job do you think he's going to do?

Update 2: That utter Hoon has been caught at the trough AGAIN! But no, it's just a few bad apples, really. It's not widespread at all.

CUNTS!

Woof woof woof woof woof woof fido.

Bwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahaha!

Once the Times went down the Mudoch shitter, we could still console ourselves with the Telegraph. But no more, as Guido writes:

There are a lot of bitter, jealous journalists at the Telegraph and you have behaved shamefully over the McBride story. You even tipped off Downing Street in advance as to exactly what I was up to. It reflects on you a lot more than it does on me.

You revealed sources, broke a confidence, breached a signed non-disclosure agreement and behaved like patsy's for McBride.

You still failed to spoil the story. Your political team is about as weak as it gets, that is why you sucked up to Downing Street.

The Telegraph was once run by gentlemen for gentlemen. This would never have happened under Deedes or Charles Moore.

Do your worst.

What a bunch of cunts they turned out to be.

PS Gweeds, it's "patsies".

Via Roger T:

One of the key issues in the whole "smeargate" fiasco has been the "Red Rag" website. I'm not sure it was such a good idea...

What the internet was made for!

Clearly, you just have to get angry to be able to turn a phrase like that:

Mr Punch - the notorious self-inserting arse humbug* - has just told the BBC that the only reason McBride dreamed up his slanderous smear campaign was because people like Guido had dragged politics into the personality gutter.

Apparently, our sainted rulers want to be decent honest and truthful, but they're prevented by disruptive outsiders like Guido. So they have no choice but to become lying toe rags.

How perfectly frightful for them.

And what a shame they'll have to suffer for another 12 months.

*Footnote - We've blogged pants ex-quangocrat Pound many times (eg here). He was the one who promised BBC R4 Today listeners he'd table whatever law they voted for - the Listeners' Law - but had no hesitation in reneging when he didn't like the law they chose (he called us listeners bastards for choosing the Tony Martin Law). Fortunately, his majority is only 13%, so come next year we need never hear from him again.

(What do you mean, you don't know who she is?)

You wrote:

But thirdly, this episode might just give pause for thought about the bitter venom with which political blogging is conducted. Guido published a picture on Thursday of McBride with the crosshairs of a gun superimposed on his head, and the legend "he who lives by the smear....", in the first hint that the story was breaking. It left many political journalists who saw it feeling uncomfortable. This may be serious, but does it really have to be a battle to the death?

Well, girlie, given how close the Graun is to the government, you are wise to be concerned. But even in a more general sense, political journalism is far too deeply embedded into the political class and not nearly as critical of politics as it should be. This is why ham-fisted oiks like me feel the need to say the things we do, because you, who are paid to do it, do not speak for us.

It is a fight to the death between people who take and the people from whom they take. It's going to get worse before it gets better.

And lazy, gullible, useless political journalists are in the firing line.

Dolly:

I don't think I should resign for receiving an email I did not publish

So the multiple lies about what really happened don't matter?

... about the Dolly Draper / Damian McPoison kerfuffle, is that nothing substantial will change. Even if one or both of them gets the sack, they will not leave public life, they will encounter no sanction from the government and anything bad that does happen to them will be furiously spun as nasty Toryism.

And Gordon "Feartie o' Fife" Brown will have had NOTHING to do with any of it.

"I wasn't lying on purpose"
-- Derek Draper, Channel 4 News

You stupid, stupid fucktard felching jizz dribbling cuntwaft.

Gordon is a mendacious twat:

That at least 10 of the suspects were in the U.K. on student visas has raised questions about whether the Pakistan suspects had entered legally and were attending accredited schools.

The British have said that Pakistan should do more to stop fraudulent visa applications.

On Thursday, Mr. Brown pointed blame at Pakistan, saying, "Pakistan has got to do more to root out the terrorist elements in its country as well."

Oh, so the fucking Pakistanis check visa applications to Britain, do they?

For fuck's sake, you dissembling cunt, do you think we're all fucking stupid?

Hmmm ...

Derek, Damian - it's time to go chaps.

But of course, we all know what "go" means to New Labour, don't we? A couple of months somewhere quiet until the fuss has died down and then a big welcome back into the troughing fold.

Cunts.

PS from the comments:

So the line being taken is "Brown didn't know what was going on." Last I checked McBride was one of his chief press officers... how the HELL do you not know what they're doing?

You're asking that question about the monocular mentalist, so suggestions include: incompetence, delusion, stupidity ... do I need to go on?

Go here.

What's the biggest difference between men and women? What they mean when they say "I got through a whole box of tissues watching that film."

From contempt is total.

This post attracted the following reply from the unshaven twat:

You've gone too far, you fucking clown! I'm gonna have you!

Interestingly (or perhaps not!) my comments on LabourLost now longer seem to get published, no matter how cogent, swear-free and thoughtful they might be.

But of course, they don't do censorship, do they?

Well, I fucking won't:

This is almost unbelievable. Until once again you remember we have the most wasteful government in the history of this country...

A £250 bonus has been paid to Crown Prosecution Service staff in London who turned up for work during heavy snow.

Only 224 out of 1,400 CPS employees in the capital made it to work on Monday 2 February, when the city saw its heaviest snow in nearly 18 years.

A spokeswoman said the money from public funds was to reward members of staff who went the "extra mile".

This is ridiculous. So ridiculous in fact I want to swear a lot. But I won't -- I'll be a good boy.

These people are getting paid a bonus from me and you for doing what they're meant to do. Which is turn up to work.

The snow is no bloody excuse. For me it just meant on one day I was quite late and I had to walk from St Pancras to Oxford Street*. I didn't have to traverse any snow-ridden, cliff-top passes. Or contend with any glaciers. Just walk through a bit of snow to work.

All this tells me is that not only is our government rotten to the core. But the whole state is too. Rotten to the core with mindless, wasteful, soft-headed morons.

Jesus H. Fucking Christ! What the fucking fuck are these fucking cunts smoking? A fucking BONUS for pitching up for work?

What the fuck happened to the recession? People losing their jobs?

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?????

A microcosm of firm but fair criticism, ludicrous posturing and oleaginous clit-sucking in three posts:

Old Holborn said...

Oh dear, is the chalice poisoned?

Are all the privileges of representing us getting too much?

The reason 60,000,000 of us have had enough of politicians and are angry has everything to do with what just 646 people have done to us.

You chose to be one of those 646 because it gave you power to change lives. You craved it. The power to change lives. That's a huge resonsibility. Don't come bleating back to us when it goes pear shaped. YOU made it pear shaped, not us. If you find the greasy pole studded with razor blades as well as diamonds, don't cry foul to us, because you Kerry, oh especially you, are desperately scrabbling to get more of what you "volunteered" for.

POWER.

May I also courteously remind you which Government is vehemently obsessed with knowing every detail of OUR lives. Where we are, what we are saying, what we are eating, what we re doing, where we are travelling, how fast we are driving, what Internet sites we visit, what we write in our emails or on our blogs, what our biometrics and dna look like.

It is the Government that YOU wanted and are part of.

Physician, heal thyself.
Fri Apr 10, 04:59:00 PM

Kerry said...

I've only allowed that comment through to demonstrate what a thoroughly despicable individual you are. But that's it. I've had enough.
Fri Apr 10, 05:53:00 PM

bevanite said...

OH - I really hope Kerry doesn't stand for it anymore, what you write is poisonous tripe. Something must have really gone wrong for you, but to read that post and comment like that, shows just how troubled you are. Go and get some help.

Jesus wept.

I can't really see why the Tories are kicking up a stink:

Millions of pounds of British taxpayers’ money has been mistakenly used to fund the health service in Ireland, the Conservatives said yesterday.

Britain has been overpaying the Irish Government by an estimated €200 million (£180 million) a year in a deal between the two countries, prompting the Conservatives to call for a parliamentary inquiry into the “waste” of NHS funds.

How many hospitals would that pay for, then? How many deficits could be wiped out at the stroke of a pen?

How much of OUR FUCKING TAX MONEY have the Irish been enjoying the benefit of?

And how accurate is this fucking pikey bribe anyway? Sounds like another fucking Barnett formula.

Cunts.

... but I do like the sound of this:

If elected, within 24 hours I will draw up a contract with my constituents to ensure that they all get the best service possible from their MEP. I will ensure that any problems are dealt with as much speed and vigour I can muster to ensure the effectiveness of my office. Constituents problems or queries will be dealt with as effectively as possible.

Articles in the contract will include:

* I will remain fiercely independent.
* I will acknowledge all letters from constituents within 24 hours between Monday and Friday.
* I will acknowledge all emails from constituents within 24 hours between Monday and Friday but hopefully sooner.
* I will regular advice sessions around the country and if possible, will arrage home visits for the elderly, disabled and carers.
* I will keep my website updated every day.
* My calendar will be published on my website and kept up to date daily Monday to Friday
* I will not claim one penny in expenses that is not absolutely required for me to carry out my job as an MEP. I will publish my expenses monthly or possibly weekly on my website.
* I will not use any taxpayer funded equipment or office for any other reason that to carry out my duties of MEP.
* I will be a whistleblower for any other MEP who I feel is ripping the taxpayer off. In this, I will not be anonymous and I will use the press.
* I will work with any organisation in Scotland, the UK or Europe if it will help the people of Scotland.

a) He will never get elected.
b) If he does, it won't last.

Good idea, though!

I did indeed delete it. Because you announced some time ago you were giving up blogging.

If you resubmit the details I'll get you put back on.

I guess I belatedly owe Mrs Dale a fiver. *snicker* Happy days ...

For £30 a session, customers are strapped to a revolving spit alongside a high-powered tanning bulb while a Bulgarian on minimun wage bastes them with peanut oil using a stirrup pump and a hose.

These guys really slay me.

... for those times when you want to prove that you don't give a flying fuck.

Geekus Nerdius:

I'm just jealous, really.

OK, so it's the Daily Fail:

Three sons of the firebrand Islamic preacher Abu Hamza could face jail after yesterday admitting taking part in a £1million stolen car fraud.

OK, so ignoring the irony of a militant Islamist's kids stealing to fund "a 'party lifestyle'" and that one of them "also admitted possession of cocaine with intent to supply", which I'm pretty sure is not acceptable to Muslims, what is this "could face jail" crap?

Judge Peter Testar at Southwark Crown Court warned the gang yesterday they could face jail.

'I am ordering these pre-sentence reports with no prejudice - that means no promises,' he said.

Hang on a minute. They stole dozens of cars, blatantly defrauded a number of businesses, dealt drugs and they could face jail? Could?

What the fuckety fuck do you have to do to go to jail nowadays?

Tip of the clown wig to Pengy.

Your sole purpose in life is to fill government coffers:

Motorists will be able to drive straight through a series of green traffic lights along a single stretch of road after the Government relaxed traffic flow rules.

Er, ok.

A motorist approaching the first traffic light at the speed limit or just below would trigger a succession of green lights and travel down the road faster.

The schemes are already in use in cities including Amsterdam and Copenhagen, the scheme use sensors in the road to keep the traffic moving.

The introduction of "green waves" will help to cut carbon emissions and traffic noise.

Up until now the Department for Transport discouraged such schemes, increasing motorists' frustration at being met by a succession of red lights.

It was because the Government feared motorists who were travelling smoothly, rather than stopping and starting, would use less fuel and pay less to the Treasury in duty as a result.

That's what it's all about, isn't it?

I am amazed that Timmy is amazed.

Ha Ha Ha!

Britain's most senior counter-terrorism officer has resigned after inadvertently revealing details of a highly secret police operation.

Mayor of London Boris Johnson said it was "with great sadness" that he had accepted Assistant Commissioner Bob Quick's resignation.

Good riddance, you little fear-mongering lickspittle turd.

Update: TDM:

Amid frantic behind the scenes activity last night, the government issued an 'F-Notice', designed to alert the media that a senior security official has been identified as a 'fucknut'.

Home Office sources said the plan to beat seven shades of shit out of you is a downgraded version of an original plan to just shoot you in the face.

A senior official said: "We have to remember what our key objective is - using the broad palette of police brutality to keep you in a constant state of fear.

"Shooting someone in the face does look a tad pre-meditated. With random, indiscriminate assaults it's much easier to claim that an individual officer just got a bit 'carried away'."

Dr Tom Logan, a security analyst, said: "A society can survive when its police force is either violent or stupid, but you really can't do both at the same time."

Tip of the clown wig to Silas the fat northern hobbit.

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