I'm sitting outside a restaurant in a shopping centre in St Julians called Bay Street. The food is great, and the place is really buzzing, I don't think I've seen anything like it.
But the thing I've never ever really seen is such a sea of fucking gorgeous women, I mean like supermodel gorgeous. Whereas on a normal night out, you may see a handful of absolute babes and a sea of munters, here there are literally a sea of babes and a handful of munters. It's unbelievable. I've seen Vogue magazine shoots with a higher proportion of hippopotami.
And they have such style, they look hot as all fuck, but not a single one of them looks slutty. Even the ones that are "just" normally attractive are all dressed in such as way as to maximise their appeal without looking cheap.
Unreal.
And just think, I could be in Newcastle instead.
They have a gene whereby once they have a sprog their tits and asses hit the ground at the same time, they grow moustaches & weight 32 stone.
ReplyDeleteBut sweetheart ...what would your preference be?
ReplyDeleteWhy you Oleanna darling! Mwah.
ReplyDeletesteed?
ReplyDeleteYou drunk babes
Tis Broxted newly return'd from the wars.
ReplyDeleteThe wars best suited? Are you happy? Wondering if I care...but truly happy you are alive. Your horse?
ReplyDeleteWhat the hell were we talking about?
Distinct difference in your avatar here & the more deshabille one on Twitter.
ReplyDeleteMalta rocks! Altho' the women there didn't strike me as particularly fit by European standards (or Scottish standards, seeing as of how Oleuanna might be reading this).
ReplyDeleteWhat cheered me up most was the big sign at the airport visible from the aeroplane saying "Malta International Airport". I asked somebody who worked there whether there was another airport that just did internal flights and was met with a blank stare.
What cheered me up next most was the cheap tobacco and the fact you can buy Golden Wonder crisps, genuine from the factory in Blighty.
My paternal grandfather was there in 1916. R&R after Gallipoli.Nice he said, no lice and fewer mortars.
ReplyDeleteWhat cheered me up next most was the cheap tobacco and the fact you can buy Golden Wonder crisps, genuine from the factory in Blighty.
ReplyDeleteThat's how I remember Staines.
Starting to like Malta then? there are certainly plenty of hotties there.
ReplyDeleteIf you are there over the weekend take a walk do to divewise in st Julians and see if the can get you on some dives.
May I crave your indulgence for a moment?
ReplyDeleteTweet #votenoireland.
Pacto Olisipiensis Censenda Est.
That is all.
I assume St Julians is in Malta ??
ReplyDeleteWhat does your other half have to say about these observations? I suspect your return to these isles may not be that welcoming....
ReplyDeleteShe don't mind, she pays him by the hour.
ReplyDelete"you can buy Golden Wonder crisps, genuine from the factory in Blighty".
ReplyDeleteI went to Malta when I was around 12, and my most enduring memory is eating a brand of Maltese crisps called "Bum". My, how we all laughed...
I'm sure it's true about the girls but at the time I was too concerned with playing with my Star Wars figures in the salt pans, and pretending that I was on Tatooine.
You think that's good - go to the middle of Russia [forget Moscow].
ReplyDeleteWhen I was there a few years ago I thought the Maltese were the ugliest people on the Earth. I remember thinking that if Danny Devito and Rhea Pelman went to live there they would be hailed as the most impossibly attractive and glamorous couple to ever walked the streets of St. Julian's. The people themselves were fine, but lookswise... it's a wonder they ever manage to breed.
ReplyDeleteMalta International Airport, Mark? Pffffffffffff..... you mean "Luqa".
ReplyDeleteI grew up a little (5 years) in Malta and what John says about the massive weight gain in middle age is very true. They also develop an obsessive keenness to keep the front of their houses clean, an operation which involves emerging from the front door of your house once a day and sweeping the dust to the front of your neighbour's house.