Well, to all those that tried that tactic, may I say a heart-felt: "Fuck you. Fuck you very much."
Because Hannan and Carswell are regarded as utter fucking lunatics by the Tory leadership, who prefer to have policies like this instead:
Andrew Lansley, the Shadow Health Secretary, has launched the Conservative Party’s new green paper on public health - A Healthier Nation.
The Green Paper outlines how we will tackle Britain’s public health crisis by completely overhauling Labour’s failing system of dealing with public health.
Much greater responsibility for tackling problems like obesity, drug use and teenage pregnancy will be devolved to communities on a new payment-by results basis, with extra rewards for improving the public health of the poorest. In spending their dedicated public health budgets, communities will be obliged to partner with local bodies, like schools, businesses, councils and GPs.
I'm sorry, Mr Lansley, but just chucking the word "devolved" in there doesn't fucking mean shit, you mendacious cunt. And what's with this "partnering" cockwaffle? Obliged? So if my local trust doesn't want to "partner", fuck them anyway? How is that "devolution", you lying fuck?
There will be a new focus on innovative strategies, with national campaigns harnessing the latest behaviour change research and delivered by providers who are paid by results. We will provide prizes for ‘open source’ suggestions for successful new public health strategies.
No. No. No. Just fucking NO!
National fucking campaigns are what we fucking have right now with Labour. How the cunting fuck can you be claiming to promote localism with national campaigns, devolution with orders from central government and radicalism when your spurting out the same old tired shit policies that we've seen from Labour for the last fucking decade?
A Conservative Government will work with business to draw up new ‘responsibility deals’ designed to prevent irresponsible activities and extend restrictions on unsuitable marketing to children throughout the media. We will introduce a clearer system of alcohol labelling which allows people to compare the amount they drink with other people, mandate the display of ‘guideline daily amounts’ on food packaging, and encourage restaurants and bars to publish more dietary information for their customers.
Aahhhh ... that will be the new focus on libertarianism from the Cuntservatives: nudging combined with hectoring, nannying and fucking outright bullying, which is completely fucking different from what Labour have been doing for the last 13 years, oh yes.
We will introduce a focus on public health throughout government, led by the Secretary of State for Public Health, with a series of measures including extra Sure Start health visitors, a school sports Olympics, better maternity care, and tough measures – including a tax on super-strength drinks – to curb binge-drinking.
This has me rocking back and forth in the corner of my office, keening. More "tough measures". More fucking telling people how to live their lives. More officious government diktats.
The Cuntservative Party already has libertarian-inclined MPs, MPs who have laid out their suggestions in a clear, easy-to-follow book. These MPs already have media presence, a fan base and a lot of attention. And DING and his merry dingbats are heading in the exact opposite direction.
So, for those of you who have tried to convince me that the thing to do is join the Tories and fix things from within and in the nicest possible way: fuck off. You're the mirror image of tribal Labour voters for whom the party can do no wrong.
You guys are the exact same type of people who have allowed Labour to arserape the country into a fucking zombie movie: my party above all, including fucking sanity.
How the fuck can you cunts dare to tell me that I should vote for this bunch of bullying statists because voting for the other bunch of bullying statists is some fucking terrible crime?
David Cameron is just as unprincipled and dangerous as Tony Blair. And he can fuck right off.
Update: The UK Libertarian looks at all six bullshit themes.
Calm down, dear - it's not good to get so worked up, at your age ;)
Alcohol abuse is not a public health concern, it is a public order issue. Just because we have made such a pig's ear of our justice system does not mean we need to poke our noses into the private decisions of anyone we feel like.
Right on the money, Obo. Especially with regard to Lansley, we shouldn't expect any different considering he's been earning a fortune advising big pharma.
"I should sign up with the Cuntservatives and change them from within."
Yea, that's the shite you hear from John Redwood.
Ask him one thing that has changed because of his rightist influence ... silence.
Meanwhile, Teresa and Ken are in the shadow cabinet, yet Redwood isn't.
Cameron puts up a windmill on his roof (probably paid for on expenses) and courts the green vote. Well? He can have the fucking green vote as far as I am concerned.
He ain't getting mine!
I still think a positive vote or a spoiled ballot paper ("none of the above, thankyewverymuch") are the most honourable ways to go, but all your naysayers are missing the glaring parallel with those who voted Labour in 1997 - "anyone but the Tories" - and look how their hopes were crushed. Right libertarians voting for CMD in this upcoming election are not voting positively, any more than thousands upon thousands of votes for T Blair in 1997 were positive ones.
I don't usually comment here, so I'd better do the first of my twelve political steps and out myself as one of those rarest of beasts - a LEFT libertarian.
I knew letting you see that awful green paper was a mistake! Although I really enjoyed the resulting rant....one day, one day :)
I'm with you, Obo.
The greater evil is voting for DING.
NuLaba are, by definition, utter fucking cunts. They can't be any differant, they don't know any better. They are what they are - control seeking scum.
The Tories should know better, the voices are out there, DING just isn't listening. Voting for DING's bunch of wankers is WORSE than voting nulabia.
DING's cabal needs to be utterly fucking destroyed. There isn't enough time before the election.
The only course open to us voter plebs is to make the next election the ultimate wake up call that the tories require.
DINGs cast iron moment was the biggest political fuck-up since Maggie's poll tax.
YOU FUCKING MORONS ELECTED THE WRONG LEADER, NOW YOU'RE GOING TO PAY THE PRICE.
The only problem is that the rest of us are along for the ride.
What public health crisis?
Devolve responsibilty for tackling obesity, stupid teenagers and drinking to the lowest level - us!
He can stick the green paper up his arse.
The only people the Government should ever be instructing how to eat, drink, shit and piss are the welfare lifestyle class. Vouchers for food not cash for fags and booze.
Cameron you cunt, bollox to your inclusive agenda; where's my fucking referendum?
If you'd not revealed the source for these proposals Obo, I'd have put good money on them belonging to Labour. And that's just how scary the Tories have become; they are totally indistinguishable from the current incumbents.
Would you rather all the libertarians left the Tories so instead of them only wanting to do the first 30% of what needs to be done there were two very statist parties?
And don't say that Tories and Labour are exactly the same. There quite obviously not.
Dick, that'll be why Lansley was pushing the government to introduce swine flu vaccinations in schools.
These partnerships are like a cancer.
Labour, with a pretty face and more cunning.
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