Saving lives is less important than Elfin Safety

There really are days when I wish I hadn't read the papers:

A volunteer coastguard crew face disciplinary action after going to the rescue of a teenage swimmer in a boat that had recently been repaired and was awaiting a seaworthiness inspection.

I'm sorry? They're facing disciplinary action for rescuing a teenager?

The four crewmen were on duty at Hope Cove in South Devon when the 15-year-old girl was swept out to sea by a powerful rip tide. They braved heavy surf to launch their 17ft rigid inflatable.

The girl was rescued by a diver and the coastguard crew brought her ashore. But within hours their boat had been confiscated and the station officer and his crew had been threatened with disciplinary action.

Er, er, er ...

The boat had been out of service since June and the 11-strong crew, fed up with waiting for it to be repaired by the Maritime and Coastguard Agency (MCA), spent £2,000 of their own money on the work. But the repairs had yet to be approved and the boat - which has rescued more than 120 people since 2000 – was languishing in the boathouse at the pretty fishing village awaiting a further inspection.

What? What the fuck???????????? So these people who voluntarily risk their lives to save people, and voluntarily risked their lives after spending their own fucking money because the cunts who were supposed to do it couldn't be arsed to stick their hands in the till or get off their cunting fat gobshite arseholes to inspect it, are now facing disciplinary action??????????????

Ian Pedrick, 49, the station officer, radioed for permission to launch the boat because the girl was already 150 yards out to sea but the crew lost radio contact with coastguard headquarters at Brixham and went ahead with the rescue.

My guess? The coastguard headquarters spouted this elfin safety shite and Mr Pedrick (more power to his elbow) just decided that saving someone's life was more fucking important. Good for you my son.

Within three hours the boat was towed away by a senior MCA officer and is now locked in a garage at their office five miles away in Kingsbridge.

You fucking what? You can't be arsed to a) pay for it, because that's your job or b) inspect it, because that's your cunting job too, but you're there right sharpish to cart the fucking boat away and leave the place without any kind of rescue option?

Are these fucking cunts mad, or what?

Mr Pedrick, who runs the Hope and Anchor pub near the beach, said that he had been ordered by the MCA not to comment on the incident.

Never mind, Mr Pedrick, I think we can guess how you feel.

Dave Clark, aged 54, a recently retired coastguard, said: “Everyone in the village is very angry. They feel the crew are being punished for trying to save a life.

“The boat at Hope Cove is vital because it takes 25 minutes for the lifeboat to get from Salcombe and a swimmer could easily drown. When the MCA withdrew the boat in June they said it would be for six weeks but the crew wanted it back as soon as possible so they paid for the repairs themselves.

“They were then told it had to stay off service until it was surveyed and that would have taken it out for the whole of the summer season. Anyone would have done the same thing when they saw the girl in trouble.”

A spokesman for the MCA said: “The health and safety of the boat crews and those who they may render assistance to is of paramount importance.”

He added: “Search-and-rescue effectiveness will not be compromised by the suspension of the general purpose boat. These general purpose boats are additional facilities and are not generally used as part of the first response to an incident.

“We have identified serious breaches of health and safety procedures and they are currently being investigated. The boat has been stood down for a further eight weeks while we investigate the possibility of repair or replacement.

I don't have the energy to comment on the rest of this moronic imbecility on a point by point basis. But some points do stand out:

• Why would it take the MCA six weeks to get the boat fixed when the crew could get it fixed quicker?
• Why could the MCA not get someone to inspect the boat after the crew paid to get it fixed?
• Why was a senior MCA official available at short notice to remove the boat, rendering the village at far greater risk of having to cope with the aftermath of a drowning?
• Will the senior MCA official who carted off the boat be the person to explain to the parents of a drowned child why elfin safety box-ticking was more important than their child's life?

I think that any sane person would give the volunteers a medal, string the MCA boat-napper up from a lamp post on the harbour wall and set fire to MCA offices around the country.

Fucking cunts.