Wednesday, 19 November 2008

How to write about Africa: a guide for liberals

Found a fantastic guide on how to write about Africa from an Islington perspective:

Throughout the book, adopt a sotto voice, in conspiracy with the reader, and a sad I-expected-so-much tone. Establish early on that your liberalism is impeccable, and mention near the beginning how much you love Africa, how you fell in love with the place and can’t live without her. Africa is the only continent you can love — take advantage of this. If you are a man, thrust yourself into her warm virgin forests. If you are a woman, treat Africa as a man who wears a bush jacket and disappears off into the sunset. Africa is to be pitied, worshipped or dominated. Whichever angle you take, be sure to leave the strong impression that without your intervention and your important book, Africa is doomed.

Do go read the whole thing, it's absolutely brilliant!


Window Licker said...

Thanks for the link, I'll try this with my new book, "An idiot's guide to Piracy".

Anonymous said...

Oh, that's funnny, windowlicker! Can I pirate a copy?

killemallletgodsortemout said...

Anyway, justwhere the fuck is that uber-muppett Bonio, now that Africa REALLY needs him?

Ditto for that cunt Geldof.

Mark Wadsworth said...

Another good tip, if you are a feminist, is to emphasise that although women are subservient second class citizens, that this is their historic Kultcha which we have to respekt, innit?, and that women have a quiet pride in what they do (i.e. everything productive).

And if you are a hair shirt Greenie, emphasise how they manage with so few material possessions.

Dr Evil said...

Remind me again about where Somalia is and the bunch of pirate twats that aren't being shelled by our warships as yet? Where that utter twat Mugabe comes from? Where that really very unpleasant ANC is based. Oh, and where a country's army is pillaging and raping it's citizens as a bunch of quite respectable rebels is pushing them back towards the capital. Where we throw a load of money every year and it ends up in Switzerland. Armand and Michaela Dennis have a lot to answer for IMO.

Anonymous said...

Yes Chalcedon,

I, as a white male, feel really guily about all of it - mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

Although on the other hand, I've never been there, so I'm not _quite_ sure what I did wrong...other than being white and male.

BTW, I currently have a direct debit for Medecins sans Frontiere (sp?).

How much of a mug am I?

I hear that the RSPCA spends more on their directors than on animals.

If I discover anything similar of MSF I will stop donating.