Surrogates

Quite a clever idea, for a change. I quite enjoyed it, just a pity about the mawkish end, but what can you expect from a "blockbuster".

Worth a watch.

Is it me?

So I've tried to watch Inglorious Basterds three times now, and every time I've eventually given up to watch something entertaining, like an old CSI or NCIS re-run.

Is it me, or is it shit?

True Horror

As was our wont, the squeeze and I sat down to watch a couple of DVDs last night, including the new Stephen King movie, "The Mist". It's an almost textbook example of something Stephen King once said: "But if I find that I cannot terrify, I will try to horrify, and if I find that I cannot horrify, I'll go for the gross-out. I'm not proud." This movie had more than enough of all three.

I don't really want to dwell on it, but the ending was an amazing piece of work that shows you don't need monsters, scary music or a long build-up for genuine, stomach-turning horror.

Battle Warrior

I watch a lot of movies, mostly on Sky or DVD. Last week, I watched Battle Warrior, billed as a Tony Jaa movie.

(Now, a little background: Tony Jaa is a Muay Thai master and probably the best martial arts star since Bruce Lee. Yes, the movies are just as cheesy, but the bloke, like Lee, is a star and something very special. His stunts are all "live", no wires, no CGI, just astonishing physicality.)

Movie reviewers have said things like:

Suddenly The Matrix looks about as relevant as VHS tapes.

and:

Christ, the fight scenes are good. So good, Pinkaew could have replaced the rest of the film with linking, silent movie-style title cards (‘KHAM ENTERS RESTAURANT, STILL ELEPHANTLESS’, ‘KHAM WANDERS INTO BURNING TEMPLE FOR SOME REASON – NOT IMPORTANT’), chopped the running-time to 30 mins, and we’d still recommend you go see it.

So, having watched Ong-Bak and Warrior King, seeing "Battle Warrior" in the video shop was like a red rag to a bull.

Now, I saw this as someone who has sat through any number of bad, poorly dubbed martial arts extravaganzas and enjoyed them:

Do not, under any circumstances, watch this movie.

It is awful. It's beyond awful. It's not so bad that it's good. It's so bad that it's not good. It's not going to be a cult classic. It's just shit. Toe-curlingly hideous, overblown and stupid. And it's also a lie: it's not a Tony Jaa movie, he has about 2 minutes of screen time.

Do not watch this ... paint a wall and watch it dry instead. It is a better use of your time.