Drama queens

I got back from an extended waving of the penis extension today to find that one of the members on a social forum I hang out on had been given a week's suspension. And fuck me, his reaction was like a toddler, spitting out his dummy and scweaming and scweaming and stamping his feet.

This from someone who reckoned that everybody but him was behaving like an immature prima donna.

Twat.

Motorvation: an occasional series

Today ...

... I shall mostly be waving my penis extension around the Northumbrian countryside. Unless I decide to go to the Peak District. Or perhaps Wales.

Anyway, I can't see myself blogging all that much.

Now THAT is magic!

Yeah, it's probably ancient. So what?

Motorvation: an occasional series

Obamanation

Jesus fuck cunt piss arseweasel goat-buggery shitfucks.

Why the cunting fuck do musicians think that putting some kind of beat or ambient warbling underneath one of Obamalamadingdong's fucking speeches is a viable bit of music? I listen to a lot of dance music and it seems that there is a whole fucking sub-genre of these lazy cock-sniffing felchmongers who think that the skinny cunt is some kind of messianic genius.

The fucker is reading from a cunting teleprompter, you indolent fuckpieces.

FUCKING STOP IT, OK? The cunt is a fucking politician, he's not going to make any thing better just because he's fucking half-black. He's not just a politician, either, he's a fucking Chicago machine politician, expecting him to do anything good is like expecting Gordon Brown to stop lying.

You piss-flap-faced fetid fuckfeatured fannybatters.

What a tit!

Last night the barbie managed to "pop" a piece of charcoal that spat out of the fire and burnt my nipple. Not a pretty sight.

Do I:

1. Ignore it?
2. Apply some antiseptic cream?
3. Go see a doctor?
4. Call for an ambulance?
5. Annex the Sudetenland and invade Poland?

Answers on a postcard, please!

Informix Roundup: 03 July 2009

The IBM edition!

Migrating from Oracle to IDS Redbook.

Article about Data Encryption Expert.

Article about anonymising flat files.

Using InfoSphere Data Architect, Part 1 and Part 2.

Jamie Whyte on central banking

Jamie is a master at constructing a cogent argument, and he's on fine form here:

Interest rates are simply prices for borrowing. As with all prices, they should be determined by supply and demand in a free market. When they are fixed by a wise man, or by a wise committee, they no longer carry information about the preferences of consumers and the scarcity of resources. On the contrary, no matter how wise the dictator, interest rates set by diktat are sure to be a kind of misinformation, leading those who act on them into error.

It's time to remove the power of the BoE of its power to set interest rates. As Jamie says:

The Bank of England should not get tougher or try harder. It should give up.

And he can prove it, too.

If you haven't read Bad Thoughts by Jamie Whyte, I urge you to spend the 7 quid now and you can thank me later. The more people who read this book and learn to think, the better the world will be.

Tip of the clown wig to Samizdata.

How fucking stupid do they think I am???

This email just in:

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identified in your Mailbox. As a result, access to your mailbox has been
limited. Youare required verify your mailbox by providing the following information
before your mailbox will be reactivated;Verify your mailbox details

IT Service
Mail to: uk.upgradedept99@gmail.com



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Retype password:

Please verify your mailbox otherwise due to security reasons we may have
to close your mailbox temporarily.
Regards,
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IT Service

Cunts.

Fuck "social justice"

So I went for a little drive today. And like most towns, my town has a "caahnsil haazin 'state". Which, clearly, I've never really explored. Today, I decided to drive a different route than usual to the doctors, one which entailed me traversing a section of the "caahnsil haazin 'state" that I've never been through.

And frankly, I was astounded. Most of the haazin was in pretty good nick, the gardens were not badly tended, etc., etc.

But the thing that fucked me the bejesus off was the number of "community centres" I saw. There are exactly fucking NONE anywhere else in town. On this little traversal of the "caahnsil haazin 'state" I counted FUCKING SIX OF THE CUNTING FUCKERS!!

All of them in tip-top trim, with nice little flower basket displays, all in immaculate nick.

What the fuck entitles these fucking people to all this "community support" when the poor cunts who fund all this are not fucking entitled to fucking ANYTHING?

How the fuckkety fucking fuck does that work, then?

Sorry folks, but when Obo takes over, there's going to be some fucking serious rearrangement of fucking priorities.

Things I never thought I'd read!

Not just any old Labour minister either:

It's not the government's money, it's the taxpayer's.

Whatever next?????????????

Tip of the clown wig to Mark Wadsworth.

NHS: "fail" at the most banal objective

What is the most trivial thing that you can get done with the NHS? My money is on getting a repeat prescription. It's a simple, click-a-button, repetitive task that can be done by the most feeble-minded cock-sniffer.

Isn't it?

Well, apparently not. I sent off an email request to my local cock-sniffer on Tuesday, and got an email back on Tuesday afternoon that the prescription would be at my pharmacy for collection yesterday. Due to the extreme cuntishness of the day I had yesterday, I didn't make it out there, so I went today.

Only to be told that the pharmacy had not received my prescription. Plus, the goat-felching arseweasels in the admin office had all fucked off for lunch, and I wouldn't be able to speak to anybody to get the script until half-past-two.

Oh, and by the way Mr Clown, fuck you with knobs on.

I can see why everyone else is so desperate to emulate this glorious service provider, I really can.

Fucking useless motherfucking arsebandit CUNTS!

I commend this post to you

Sickening, disturbing, worrying and upsetting. And long, too.

Great headlines of our time ...

Scots 'using chip fat instead of sun cream'

Idiots.

Well, bugger my toe!

I always wondered why he kept up the pretence, now we know:

Saddam Hussein allowed the world to believe Iraq had weapons of mass destruction because he feared revealing his weakness to Iran, it has emerged.

Now, I always thought Saddam was a weapons-grade cunt because of the way he ruled, but I have to confess a sneaky frisson of sympathy for the old bastard, between the rock of American concern about WMD and the hard place of Iran as a neighbour.

That's a circle I'm glad I'll never have to square. And I can't help feeling that this all brings a trial of Tony Bliar a little closer, somehow.

I hope so, anyway.

Informix Roundup: 02 July 2009

Why database optimisation matters. Simple enough to give to your manager.

OAT 2.25 is out, with new schema management and ER management gubbins.

Madison has something on HDR performance.

Chat with Kevin Brown.

McAfee UK, prepare for "excitement".

New IDS demos available.

Compression webcast.

A conversation with Kevin Brown.

A resource for Informix (and other!) code, components and scripts.

Interesting article, mentions Informix only tangentially.

Le Hoon du Jour: SIR Michael White

A face you'd never tire of punching.

Can't you just smell the priggish pomposity?

What I do that really annoys Staines, Peter Oborne and other rightwing attack dogs is defend the political class as a whole from unwarranted assaults that are corrosive of democratic discourse and public trust. I don't defend the indefensible, but I don't hunt with the media pack either.

Defend the indefensible? Suck the government's pink pole, you mean, you useless fuck waste of skin. I'm not sure what Mikey baby would consider indefensible from the Labour party, strangling babies live on television and eating the still-beating hearts.

Possibly.

Betting tip

I see that our beloved Prime Mentalist has wished Andy Murray luck for Wimbledon. Put your money on anybody else then.

The lure of Twatter

You will have noticed that my blogging rate has diminished somewhat since I became a twat. I find that I can comment on things very easily and get near-instant response to my comments. The interactivity is really addictive.

Twatter doesn't lend itself to any kind of depth, but it is also a lot easier to make a glib remark that encapsulates your feelings so that you can write the issue off mentally and move on to the next thing. This is really bad for blogging.

I'm going to have to rethink my blogging / twatting habits, I think, because I feel like I'm letting my blog down. As with most things, I guess it's just a matter of self-discipline.