There's a brave new world out there: Web 2.0, social networks, open source, Agile Programming, grid computing, you name the wanky buzzword and someone has attached a poncy bit of cocksnaffling onto it.
It all sounds so good, wholesome and new-agey. There's only one problem with it all: the people writing all this software are, by and large, inept, bungling fucktards with all the common sense of a pot noodle on crack. It seems that wherever I go in the course of my day job, I'm surrounded by bearded, long-haired, juice-drinking, T-shirt-wearing, vegan cock-ends who look like uber-geeks, but actually have no fucking grasp of which end of a computer is up.
The most basic concepts seem to have passed them by in the quest for the latest "big idea". They're all so busy masturbating over which way Linus is going to take kernel 2.8 that they forget that there's a here and now problem which is: "because you don't have a fucking clue what you're doing, you cocksnaffling dweeb turd, your programs are a fucking disgrace and nothing works because you didn't think there was any issue beyond getting the fucking thing to compile without errors."
The worst thing of it all (and I see this every fucking day) is that programmers make Death Star-sized clusterfucks out of their code, yet when they fix their own fuckups, they get venerated as fucking heroes. Back in the day when I used to cut code, my balls were on the line every time something when into production. If it didn't work, and work well, my manager would be kicking my arse until it was sorted. It seems that along with everything else in this caring, sharing age, that programmers are now being worshipped on those rare occasions when they manage to find their own arses with both hands.
It gets better for these indolent cock-suckers, though, because the average application now consists of so many inter-related components that they have six months of blaming everyone else for any problems before they get called to account. (What's all that about anyway? Why the fuck do you need a software stack a mile high and a 16-way server to keep track of your fucking CD collection?)
It's always down to everyone else to prove the sainted bastards are guilty of the problem (and the skanky fucks always are!)
Fucking C# programmers. I shit the cunts. Java fuckwits, too.
2 comments:
I think to be fair, the development environments and programming languages such as C#, VB.NET etc. are generally easier to learn and use than old school C++, C, assembler etc. This has enabled lots more people to get involved with coding but this ease of use comes at a price of bloated compiled code and running on things like the .NET Framework which itself takes up a lot of space and memory.
My biggest gripe is how slow Windows and the applications produced under .NET are. I often find myself with the "spinning blue circle" for 20 or 30 seconds when I click something. Admittedly I do tend to have lots of applications open simultaneously but I have a high-memory decent spec machine and it really should not be like this.
What I want from an operating system is for it to be lightning fast. I click something and all processor time is focused on opening that application. I don't care about the 300 background processes at that point. The architecture should be such that this just works. Now we have multi-processor machines this should be even easier for them to do surely?
I used to work with a coder who worked for...oh, I forget. Someplace big. RCA, maybe.
Anyhow, his biggest gripe from the job is that the fucktards who wrote bad code got paid overtime to fix it. While his neat little creations ran as required, thus undermining his income.
He probably should've gone into overtime painstakingly commenting his code with funny jokes or something.
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