Stop wasting our time!

Occasionally, I veer off into a bit of technical hand-holding for customers. In this particular case, there is a large bank that has a small but vital system running on a product we supply. The vendor of this system has certified the product on versions that are so far out of date, they have been unsupported for 9 years. The version that the bank is using, isn't even Y2K-compliant! (Remember Y2K compliance? All those years ago?)

ANYWAY, recently, the bank started moving the servers etc., around the country. At the same time, they started getting problems with out product falling over. Must have been a coincidence, of course, despite the fact that the fucking thing's been running smooth as silk and completely forgotten by all and sundry since 1996, for the fucking sake of fucking fuck.

Anyway, the (female) project manager on this particular bunch of fuckmongering has decreed that our entire support department must fucking up-end themselves to sort this archaic fucking bug out on a product that we haven't supported since before the fucking millenium.

For the love of Christ, we don't even have any developers left in the team that remember this fucking product any more, let alone how to fuck with it. This is why products have a finite lifespan, so we can move on to better and greater things. A bit of prodding around from me revealed a list of five possible things that might cause this behaviour, and fuck me sideways if the bank didn't say "yes, that has happened" with four of them. But instead of getting the cunts to either fix the causes or upgrade to something that doesn't still run on fucking valves, the dozy bitch wants the developers to try and do some more analysis on a dead product.

Now, given that their default response on ANY FUCKING THING is: "Are you on the absolute latest version? No? Try that first" can you imagine what the cunts are going to say when presented with a fucking version of the product that pre-dates most of the bum-fluffed wankstains' first day at school???

I think the dozy old bat of a project manager has gone native and forgotten who pays her fucking salary -- it looks like a complete fucking attempt to move the blame from the cuntstomer who should have upgraded at least three times in the last 11 years to the developers, most of whom weren't even past puberty when the fucking thing was developed. And the fucking cunts have admitted that they've done stuff that could cause the problem, what the fucking fuck more does the silly twat want?

Why fucking bother wasting the time and effort on something that they're not going to fucking fix anyway?