I see you're planning to deliver a "windfall tax" on those "greedy" energy companies. It may not have occurred to you, despite your immense financial genius, that those energy companies actually make fuck-all per customer, so accusations that they're ripping people off are typical, muddled-headed leftist thinking: "Oh, they made a huge profit, therefore they are gouging customers."
Actually, they already make less out of delivering their energy to customers than the government does, much like with petrol, where something like 75% of the petrol price is actually some tax or other.
Hm, so who is actually gouging the consumer here?
Anyway, Gordon, I was wondering if I might make a small suggestion to you: in these challenging times of economic woe (obviously all caused by American incompetence and absolutely nothing to do with your own stewardship of the economy) why don't you just try spending a little bit less, rather than dreaming up new and innovative ways of sucking the last 2p coin out of my threadbare pockets? How about, instead of you taxing some fucker (which I will wind up paying for eventually) and giving the money to some other fucker (because somehow these handouts never come my way), why don't you stop pissing fucking money up the wall on gold-plated EU legislation, massive parliamentarian salaries and pensions, stupid government programs, the dole, massive bureacracies, potato agencies, regional development agencies and all the other myriad expressions of your wasteful socialist fucking stupidity and charge us all a bit less tax?
This has a massive benefit: it benefits everybody (except stupid government wastrels) but it benefits the poor and the needy the most.
It's simple, too. Even you should be able to work it out, but you probably can't because you're a socialist. You like to stick your greedy, fat, little fingers into the pie, you like to chip away at everyone's slice in the name of "fairness", not noticing how much of the pie you've wasted when you finally get round to washing them, possibly because you've been licking away at the tasty morsels that were stuck there.
Socialist redistribution just doesn't work, Gordon, it just leads to waste. It's not fucking rocket science, the proof is all around you. Half of tax money is not spent on making things better, it's just pissed out on the machinery of state. Imagine how much better off we'd all be if you just conceded defeat and started shutting down all this waste. Encourage people to achieve something, rather than massaging statistics by stuffing people into non-jobs that suck the life out of them and out of the economy.
You've had 10 lucky years when economic growth hid the real consequences of your stupidity. Be a man, Gordon, admit your policies have failed. Admit that tax and spend is a complete disaster and that the only way out is to stop trying to micro-manage us all.
Write down a list of all state-funded agencies (I think there are about 900) in alphabetical order and withdraw government funding from every second one. Just do it. You'll notice a massive swing towards fiscal balance. Raise the tax threshold so that no-one pays any tax until they earn £20,000 per annum. Exempt OAPs and people under 18 from income tax entirely.
Then, in a year's time, do the list thing again, and withdraw support from another 225 agencies. Raise the tax threshold to £25,000 per annum. Disband the disastrous Child Benefits Agency and the insane and incompetent Tax Credit system. Reduce corporation tax by 5%.
If you announce, just before the 2010 election, that you will be a) withdrawing statefunding from the remaining state-funded agencies; b) raising the tax threshold to £30,000 and c) reducing corporation taxes by another 2.5%, I'm pretty sure you'll get re-elected.
People might even get to like you.
Come on, Gordon: you're fucked anyway, why not risk it all on some truly radical thinking?
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