The inmates are running the asylum ...

There are days when I just want to sit in a darkened room, keening and rocking back and forth. Today is one of them.

Motorists may be paid up to £1,000 to scrap older, more polluting vehicles under plans being considered by the Treasury.

Ministers believe that the scheme may be useful in helping reduce global warming by subsidising drivers who switch to greener vehicles.

The Treasury is considering the incentive payments and is studying a similar scheme introduced in France earlier this year.

What? WHAT????

The Government is currently facing a backlash over plans to sharply increase vehicle excise duty for people owning cars bought between 2001 and 2006.

More than one million people will see their road tax double and offering people money to switch vehicles may help to quell growing anger among motorists.

Hello? Anyone want to guess where the fucking money will come from? Anyone?

Angela Eagle, a Treasury minister said: "It is certainly something that we would not be averse to looking at.

Of course you wouldn't be fucking averse to it, you fucking harridan, it's not your fucking money!!!

The car scrapping scheme has been backed by a committee of MPs who have studied the impact of the proposed changes to vehicle excise duty.

The Environmental Audit committee criticised the proposed road tax changes but recommended that the Treasury "urgently examines the proposal for a 'car scrappage scheme'".

However, it added: "In any scheme that were implemented, it would be important to ensure that high emission vehicles were genuinely scrapped - with as much of their materials recycled as possible - rather than allowed to stay on the road under different ownership, for instance in another country."

I wonder how many wonderful, interesting and above all, good, solid cars will be sacrificed on the altar of Gaia?

Tony Bosworth of Friends of the Earth said: "We’re delighted that the Committee have urged the Treasury to consider our suggestion of a car scrappage scheme.

"Three times more second hand cars are bought each year than new ones - so upping VED on old polluting vehicles will encourage people to choose greener models, cut fuel bills and lower carbon dioxide emissions.

"Paying people to scrap their old gas-guzzler and replace it with a cleaner car will make this cheaper and easier to do."

Tony, you're a fraud and a cunt. As I asked at the beginning: where is the money coming from that is going to fund this thievery? Is the Gorgon going to rob Peter to pay Peter back a bit less?

And anyway, who is going to fall for this shit unless they a) don't give a flying fuck about what they drive and b) wind up breaking even or making something out of the deal?

Why, oh, why, oh fucking why does something have to be done?