Thousands of "community crime fighters" are to be trained as part of a £5m package, Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has promised.
OK, so there's the "botching": £5 million (probably rounded up from £4.8 million) spent on 3600 people, roughly £1300 spent on training each person. Now, a) in government terms, £5 million really is chump change -- they routinely drop a thousand times that into equally stupid, bad ideas; and b) there's not a of training you can give someone for £1300, even when you're bulk buying. Especially when it's the government doing the bulk buying, because they're so fucking stupid, they'd probably buy into the argument that training so many people means that you have to charge more per person, per day. So let's assume that they're giving these people a 2 - 3 of days' training.
Not a fucking lot is it? I mean, even plastic plod get more than that and look at how fucking useless they are. And that's assuming that the £5 million is spent on actual training, of course. More likely, a huge percentage of the money will actually be spent on "announcing and communicating the initiative" (or "spin" as we cynics call it.)
So, they're not going to know anything useful, what possible use could they have?
She told the Labour Party conference that 3,600 volunteers would act as a link between the public and police.
I'm sorry, Jacqui, you large-breasted fuckwit, but I don't need someone to act as a link between me and the cunting police. I pick up the phone, I walk into the police station, and voilà! We're linked!
What does this really mean? Is it a cheap way of being able to say that numbers in the "police family" are growing under New Labour? Is it a way of co-opting a growing number of people into the worrying union of police and state?
Will these, in fact, be the lovely "Fingermen" that go around raping and mugging the unfortunates caught outside after curfew?
Even the rigorous selection process that the real police have along with all their training still allows a few bad apples in. The plastic plod have even greater numbers of highly visible fuckwits. What sort of vetting will be done of the first 3600 Fingermen? What sort of powers will they have? Who do we complain to if they abuse their powers?
This is a massive corruption of the relationship between the people, the police and the state.
2 comments:
Your point on not needing 'a link' to the police is spot-on. Or would be if Nulab hadn't resolutely broken that link in the first place.
Anyway, who are you calling large-breasted?
Are these to be a new layer of beurocracy perhaps? Instead of calling the police, you'll call one of these fingermen and they'll decide whether the goon currently beating you to a pulp is worth troubling the police with.
Crime figures are bound to go down if the police never get to hear about them.
Clever, eh? That Miss Creedy, sorry, Smith, is going to cut crime by pretending it doesn't happen.
Unless you drop something in the street.
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