Friday, 3 October 2008

I have peered into the gates of hell

Imagine a cacophonous shithole; dirty, with washed out lighting that makes everyone look like a cadaver. A century of advances in sound technology still haven't managed to overcome dire acoustics so you still can't make out what the cunting fuck they're saying when they make announcements. Electronic advertising hoardings every three feet, but no noticeboards in view of the handful of places you can actually sit down and a 10 minute brisk stroll between them. Overpriced crap food and coffee that resembles a bad attack of diarrhoea and shops that sell fuck all that a sane human being would want to buy at prices that truly stun, even in "rip-off Britain."

Lay-deez and gennullmen, welcome to Heathrow Terminal 4.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

So goes every other British airport, Obo. And that's after they go through that infantile chicanery called 'security'. Some foreign airports are slightly better but these days you just have to do what I do in every single airport - get a pint of milk from the shop (at prices that are merely expensive rather than absolutely obscene), drink it and hope for the best. And if you want something to eat, make sure you have something beforehand.

Air travel is more a giant inconvenience these days. It ceased being fun the minute the control freaks got their mitts on it.

Surreptitious Evil said...

But better bookshops than Terminal 5.

Although, Basrah International Airport has better bookshops than T5.