Moron Gorgon's "Rescue Plan"

Let me start by saying as I have all along, that the banks did not need any fucking saving. I'm fucking sure that if one or two had gone to the wall and the government had offered 100% guarantees to savers, we'd have been giving less of our money to the banking system and the les autres would have been pretty fucking encouraged.

But no, the fucking bank spinners, led by they poster boy Paulson, managed to suck up to politicians and in exchange for a couple of expensed meals, the Fed, the Old Lady of Threadneedle Street and the ECB have reached out, ripped off our trousers and bent us over the couch. The banks will supply lube, provided we (over)pay for it.

And the meeja, fuckwits that they are, are all solemly nodding about how Gorgon's got this one right. It's left to occassional commentators, like the Fink (do go read the whole thing, it's excellent) to raise dissenting voices:

I intend to go down the third route. Which is to take him seriously. Because I think that when you do that, the real truth of the events of the last month becomes clear. This has not been a triumph for Mr Brown, it has been a catastrophe. It is said that he is having a good war. I think this success is confined to the fluency of his signature on the surrender documents. He is having a good war, in the same way that the Kaiser had a good war. Some of his supporters argue that the last week has been his Falklands. True. And he is General Galtieri.

This is the bit I cannot fucking understand. Every motherfucker out there seems to have forgotten all his empty posturing about no more boom and bust, prudence, competence, the Iron Chancellor ... this entire crisis could have been avoided or at least, severely curtailed, if the snot-gobblin' king had a better grip on the economy than he did on his bogies. If he hadn't been pissing our money out on fatuous fripperies and an illegal war, instead paying off the national debt; if he hadn't micromanaged the economy and stifled it with pointless regulation and rather let every aspect of the British economy improve under real competition; and if he hadn't lied about the real state of the economy under his stewardship and provided us all with a better warning of what was coming, everyone would have been better off.

But no, he fucked all of the above and a whole lot more besides, and now the vultures have come home to roost. And because he's being perceived as doing a not entirely fucking awful job of fixing the immense clusterfuck he fucking well caused, suddenly he thinks he's a fucking hero!

Never mind that we're going to be pissing financial blood for the rest of our natural lives, or that what happened to Iceland is now likely to happen to another island run by cowboys and fuckwits.

Gordon Brown is enjoying himself so much at the moment that it is sometimes hard to recall whether the aim of the exercise is for him to save the banks or vice versa. But to have to spend billions of pounds of taxpayers money to save the entire British banking system from collapse is an odd sort of triumph, I have to say. There appear to be some people who regard it as a victory that the Chancellor was sitting up until two in the morning hatching a desperate last-ditch plan to save the whole economy. But this description isn't one that flies to my lips.

There is room for plenty of argument about whether the crisis could have been averted by better management. But this is almost beside the point. What matters is not whether the bust was avoidable. It is that the preceding boom was illusory.

The idea that boom and bust had been abolished was not a small claim among many. It was the central claim of this Government. It was the boast of boasts - the boast upon which all other boasts were built. And now it has been revealed as totally empty. Not triumph, then. Disaster. Not victory. Total, utter, dreadful defeat.

Still, it's OK Gorgon. It's only fucking taxpayer's money. You cunt.