An open letter to the commander of my local police station (and probably yours too!)

Sir,

I have occasion to wander past the local police station where I am always bemused to notice an official police vehicle parked on a blind bend on double yellow lines. It is not clear to me whether the police have permission to park wherever they like when they're not on a shout, but these guys are definitely not out on a shout. However, even if they do have permission to sit on double yellows in a dangerous location, it does seem a bit rich to me, a bit "one law for us", if you know what I mean. If the parking lot at my office is full, the fact that I'm right there in the building wouldn't stop you from impounding my car for parking on double yellows on a blind bend, would it?

Perhaps the reason they park there is because the parking lot is filled to the brim with other official police vehicles. Curious that in these troubled times with the government warning of unrest and surging thievery that the police still find time to sit in the office all day. (Since I am not one to criticize without offering a potential solution, can I suggest that those official vehicles be used by policemen to go out to various locations within your remit and that the policemen then actually patrol these areas so that people can have some confidence that the police still exist and haven't been superceded by arrogant, know-nothing plastic plods.)

Even more curious is the fact that the station's parking lot seems remarkably free of official vehicles come 4:30 PM every day (and they don't seem to come back till the next morning.) It's almost like they're all being used by officers to skive off early and then go home. I can't tell you how happy I am that this is not the case; that policemen are not using my tax money to save themselves costs for the trip to and from work.

Finally, I'm sure that you will notice that I am not signing this letter, nor am I providing you with an address. It speaks volumes for my faith in the police that I am doing this to minimize the likelihood of police harassment, spurious and trumped-up charges and general irritation by arrogant apparatchiks of the UKSSR.

Yours most insincerely,
Obo