Stanislav's second cousin, thrice removed (part 2)

From the comments here:

Welcome in the hillside: a chronicle of the workers' struggle by Sperm Lewis, it is.

If you thought the great Welsh Nobel laureate, Sir Tim Berners Lewis, invented the internet so that a bunch of public school twits could fill it up with libertarian nonsense, you've got another think coming, boyos, cos if the resurgence of the Welsh language, that's Cym-fucking-raeg to you drole proles, continues at its current rate, the entire content of the web will be monoglot Welsh by 2040, although we might allow a few Chinese websites for decorative value, see. Speaking of the Chinese, when I was a shop steward, I was part of an NUM delegation to the Peoples Republic of China to show solidariy with the miners, the other part of the delegation being my mate Owen Twat, who speaks a bit of Mandarin, see. So when we got to China there was this big fuck off reception committee at the pithead and they'd laid on some tea and a bit of lava bread although Owen said it tasted like dog and I suppose he's in a position to know. And they sang us a little song, which Owen translated, take it away Owen.

I work all day down the mine
And as I work I sing
You ask what is this song
The song that I sing?
It is the song of coal
I look like coal
Coal looks like me
Praise be to the Four Modernisations

So the Chinese gave us a bit of a tour and then introduced us to two Heroes of Socialist Labour and we asked what they'd done and they said they'd been trapped down the mine for two weeks and we said, dieu, that's good, how did you survive? And they said that they had survived by drinking their own urine and singing revolutionary songs. There's lovely.

[In the next instalment, Sperm goes to a Buckingham Palace garden party and Mrs Lewis is goosed by that old Lothario, Nick Clegg.]