Wednesday 5 November 2008

Stick to the script, Mr Bond ...

I always wonder why actors get accorded so much respect. Daniel Craig had, until now, escaped my attention, because he stuck to acting. But no, that wasn't enough:

Now that the United States has a black President-elect, the world could be ready for a black Bond, 007 actor Daniel Craig has said.


Yeah, why not make Bond a lesbian, too?

But yeah, you could just ignore it, couldn't you. I have a bit more of a problem with this:

"I've always been a fan of Obama. The political ideas that have emerged from his speeches seem to me to be genuine."


What ideas, Daniel? Because no-one with half a brain seems to know what "hope and change" means in real terms. It's a bit like the Indians being told to "endeavour to persevere" in The Outlaw Josey Wales. It sounds spiffy, but it means the square root of fuck all.

"Obama would be the better Bond, because, if he's true to his word, he'd be willing to quite literally look the enemy in the eye and go toe-to-toe with them," he told American magazine Parade.


Quite unlike McCain, who actually did look the enemy in the eye and went toe-to-toe with them.

Flatulent cunt, stick to someone else's words. Yours make you look like a complete fool.

13 comments:

John Pickworth said...

Great piece, I was laughing from the first word until the last.

PS.
I have two halves of a brain and neither half knows what Obama's "Change" stands for... Maybe he means a few tanners, a thrupenny bit and bent washer? If the Yanks are lucky, that's what they'll be left with from the $Billions Obama's destined to spend over then next few years. Still, its better than the fistful of IOU's Brown is giving us.

Anonymous said...

Flatulent cunt, stick to someone else's words. Yours make you look like a complete fool.

Ah the irony of you Obnoxio, writing this. You truly are the most talentless cunt it's ever been my misfortune to chance upon.

Obnoxio The Clown said...

You truly are the most talentless cunt it's ever been my misfortune to chance upon.

I can't help but notice you made it all the way to the end of the article, eh? Anyway, help yourself to a full refund on your way out, dullard.

Anonymous said...

I do think it's worrying that you can win an election chiefly by making all the right noises. People need more than just those cooing words like "change" and "hope". Still, I favoured him over McCain, not that I rated him either. Anyone that supports a £700billion bailout and its attached £150billion of pork scratchings is hardly going to win me over when they claim to be all about the free market.

Agreed with you on the black Bond idea. Is being black some sort of fashion statement now? Black is the new black? It's Ian Fleming's character and he's supposed to look something like this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Fleming007impression.jpg

Black secret agent? Great, invent a new character. How could a change in race possibly fit in with Bond's established history? More importantly, has he thought this through? Making a womanising dipsomaniac with a gun fetish black is destined to open up a can of PC worms.

TheFatBigot said...

As I recall, Adrian Lester was considered for the part before it was given to Daniel Craig. My recollection was that Mr Lester's natural style would be to play the part for wry humour whereas they wanted something a bit punchier this time round. I doubt that many would have given much thought to his pigmentation.

Anonymous said...

I did make it all the way to the end. But then once you've stepped in shit it takes a while to scrape it off.

Anonymous said...

Fatbigot, I would argue that Bond is more than just an attitude, important as that is to him.

To my view, Bond is about playing to established preconceptions, not challenging them.

AntiCitizenOne said...

Change is what you'll have left from your dollar.

Anonymous said...

Does Mr 007 Bond have a comment on Wossie/Brand? SNP? ID cards? interest rates? attempts to gag bloggers?

And why not an Asian wheelchair-bound Bond?

Imagine "Shaken not stirred" with a squeeky wheel and a hint of palsy.

Anonymous said...

I shan't be able really to watch his celluloid-film picture now, will I, now that you've buggered it for us by rubbishing the saintly, fragrant Mr Daniel thingy from down t'road....

Very sad: it might even have been a good jape and jolly-fun.

Well, never mind, I can always have sex with my wife instead, and pretend she's that funny little Ukrainian woman with the gun, or whatever.

Anonymous said...

But isn't Felix, the CIA brother/cousin or whatever from Langley black? He's always on the scene when needed. Two black heroes? Plus Grace Jones?

Looks like this whole scene is in need of a whitewash.

word ver: flenti (sounds apt in the circs, esp with Russian accent)

Anonymous said...

"But isn't Felix, the CIA brother/cousin or whatever from Langley black?"

Only lately. He was originally white.

Anonymous said...

"Only lately. He was originally white."

A kind of reverse Michael Jackson.