I prefer the disabled bogs as they are bigger and cleaner.
I was once in one for five or ten minutes, and when I finally walked out there were a couple of guys in wheelchairs waiting who gave me very black looks.
"very black looks" Now run like fuck as the thought police will ne after you as you can't say black any more. By the way if the made the movie Dam Busters now what would Guy Gibson call his dog?
Heralded by publicity, Dr Strossheimer the faith healer arrives in town. His first public meeting is crammed with the halt and lame. "Who wishes to be cured?" he cries.
"Me! Me! Me!"
Among all those reaching out to him, Dr Strossheimer selects a man in a wheelchair right at the front. "What is your name?"
"Howard!"
"Get up out your chair, Howard, and climb the steps to the stage!"
"I can't! I can't!"
"Get up, Howard!"
"I've been in this chair for twenty-six years! I can't, I tell you!"
"Have faith, Howard! Just get up from that chair!"
Howard's face turns purple as he struggles and strains, beset by doubt as much as the physical difficulty of rising from his chair. "I can't, I can't!"
"You can!"
Suddenly, miraculously, to gasps of amazement from the audience, Howard falteringly manages to get to his feet. Helpers rush forward to support him, but hold back at the last moment as he starts teetering towards the steps.
"That's it, Howard!" Dr Strossheimer cries. "Come to me! Come and be cured for ever!"
With each unaccustomed motion of his legs, Howard becomes more confident. The hall is silent as he climbs the steps, but when he reaches the top and walks, quite normally, towards Dr Strossheimer, there is a roar of approval and applause. Dr Strossheimer holds up his hands.
"Howard, you have been cured! Your own faith and willpower have overcome the infirmity of the flesh and made you whole. But your mind has not yet fully come to terms with this transformation of your life. I want you to go over there behind that screen and stand quietly for a few minutes without being watched. I want you to absorb the magnificence of what has just happened here and make it part of your being. Will you do that for me, Howard?"
"I will! Dr Strossheimer, I will!"
And Howard walks to the back of the stage and goes behind the screen.
"Who else wishes to be cured?"
"Me! Me! Me!"
"That young man in the second row with the striped jumper. You, sir!"
The young man turns his head uncertainly. "Me?"
"Yes, you! What is your affliction?"
"I am blind! I have been blind since birth!"
"What is your name?"
"Gerald!"
"Come to Dr Strossheimer!"
Gerald is helped to the stage. Dr Strossheimer lays a hand upon his head.
"What?" Gerald cries. "What is this! I ... it's ... I think ..."
Dr Strossheimer smiles.
"I can see something ... just greyness ... light ..."
"Gerald, your vision is returning! Go behind the screen and sit down while it comes back fully! Otherwise the shock might prove too much!"
Gerald does as Dr Strossheimer asks.
While Dr Strossheimer attends to his next case, an excited shout comes from behind the screen. Gerald is yelling "I can see! I can see!"
Dr Strossheimer pauses in his work and turns his head. "What can you see?"
18 comments:
Famous last words
He's probably just gone to buy his own set of rubber gloves.
Nothing like a bowl of porridge.
Or a tom tit.
wv: bronco
Or a J Arthur.
Too many lagers, too strong a curry. I hope you remembered to put the bog roll in the fridge.
Try the disabled bogs, if there's one near you. They come equipeed with straining bars, for when you need something to hold on to.
Why would he go in the disabled bogs? He'll need one that works, FFS.
I reckon OH has turned up at his front door, and demanded a duel.
Don't stay out too long.
come back soon
I prefer the disabled bogs as they are bigger and cleaner.
I was once in one for five or ten minutes, and when I finally walked out there were a couple of guys in wheelchairs waiting who gave me very black looks.
"It's a miracle" I cried "I can walk!"
"very black looks"
Now run like fuck as the thought police will ne after you as you can't say black any more. By the way if the made the movie Dam Busters now what would Guy Gibson call his dog?
The dog would be called "BME* dog", that's easy.
* That's short for "Black and Ethnic Minority". If you're dyslexic.
"By the way if they made the movie Dam Busters now what would Guy Gibson call his dog"
The same as what Gordon calls his...
Sarah ;-)
'Sooty'
Now the mist across the window hides the lines
But nothing hides the colour of the lights that shine
Electricity so fine look and dry your eyes
We so tired of all the darkness in our lives
With no more angry words to say can come alive
Get into a car and drive to the other side
Me babe, steppin' out
Into the night, into the light
You babe, steppin' out
Into the night, into the light
We are young but getting old before our time
We'll leave the T.V. and the radio behind
Don't you wonder what we'll find steppin' out tonight
You can dress in pink and blue just like a child
And in a yellow taxi turn to me and smile
We'll be there in just a while if you follow me
Me babe, steppin' out
Into the night, into the light
You babe, steppin' out
Into the night, into the light
@Mark Wadsworth
Heralded by publicity, Dr Strossheimer the faith healer arrives in town. His first public meeting is crammed with the halt and lame. "Who wishes to be cured?" he cries.
"Me! Me! Me!"
Among all those reaching out to him, Dr Strossheimer selects a man in a wheelchair right at the front. "What is your name?"
"Howard!"
"Get up out your chair, Howard, and climb the steps to the stage!"
"I can't! I can't!"
"Get up, Howard!"
"I've been in this chair for twenty-six years! I can't, I tell you!"
"Have faith, Howard! Just get up from that chair!"
Howard's face turns purple as he struggles and strains, beset by doubt as much as the physical difficulty of rising from his chair. "I can't, I can't!"
"You can!"
Suddenly, miraculously, to gasps of amazement from the audience, Howard falteringly manages to get to his feet. Helpers rush forward to support him, but hold back at the last moment as he starts teetering towards the steps.
"That's it, Howard!" Dr Strossheimer cries. "Come to me! Come and be cured for ever!"
With each unaccustomed motion of his legs, Howard becomes more confident. The hall is silent as he climbs the steps, but when he reaches the top and walks, quite normally, towards Dr Strossheimer, there is a roar of approval and applause. Dr Strossheimer holds up his hands.
"Howard, you have been cured! Your own faith and willpower have overcome the infirmity of the flesh and made you whole. But your mind has not yet fully come to terms with this transformation of your life. I want you to go over there behind that screen and stand quietly for a few minutes without being watched. I want you to absorb the magnificence of what has just happened here and make it part of your being. Will you do that for me, Howard?"
"I will! Dr Strossheimer, I will!"
And Howard walks to the back of the stage and goes behind the screen.
"Who else wishes to be cured?"
"Me! Me! Me!"
"That young man in the second row with the striped jumper. You, sir!"
The young man turns his head uncertainly. "Me?"
"Yes, you! What is your affliction?"
"I am blind! I have been blind since birth!"
"What is your name?"
"Gerald!"
"Come to Dr Strossheimer!"
Gerald is helped to the stage. Dr Strossheimer lays a hand upon his head.
"What?" Gerald cries. "What is this! I ... it's ... I think ..."
Dr Strossheimer smiles.
"I can see something ... just greyness ... light ..."
"Gerald, your vision is returning! Go behind the screen and sit down while it comes back fully! Otherwise the shock might prove too much!"
Gerald does as Dr Strossheimer asks.
While Dr Strossheimer attends to his next case, an excited shout comes from behind the screen. Gerald is yelling "I can see! I can see!"
Dr Strossheimer pauses in his work and turns his head. "What can you see?"
"I can see, I can see!"
"Yes, Gerald, but what can you see?"
"Howard just fell on his arse!"
"By the way if the made the movie Dam Busters now what would Guy Gibson call his dog?"
What do you mean, 'if'..? They are remaking it - Peter Jackson will direct:
http://www.aintitcool.com/node/30076
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