Saturday 3 January 2009

Jolly times ahead

Gosh, what a delightful way to wake up! A quick glance through the papers shows:

0% interest on savings:

Millions of savers are braced for zero per cent accounts within days as the Bank of England is poised to cut interest rates to the lowest level in its 315-year history.


Now, one of the consequences of this is that no-one is going to want to put their money in the bank, so the banks will have less money to lend. I wonder what the consequences of this will be?

Oh. Doesn't look like we'll have to wait too long to find out:

Alistair Darling has been forced to consider a second bailout for banks as the lending drought worsens.

The Chancellor will decide within weeks whether to pump billions more into the economy as evidence mounts that the £37 billion part-nationalisation last year has failed to keep credit flowing. Options include cash injections, offering banks cheaper state guarantees to raise money privately or buying up “toxic assets”, The Times has learnt.


Will do more of what he's been doing to no effect help out? I don't fucking think so.

Still, the world is grateful for the Gorgon economic acumen and respects his brilliant strategy. Er, no:

Tour operators have increased the price of summer holidays by up to 40 per cent this year, raising the cost of an average family break to the Mediterranean by as much as £500, according to research for The Independent.

Sterling's slump against the euro and other currencies and rising prices in "bargain basement" Turkey and Egypt will put the cost of a week on a foreign beach in August beyond the reach of hundreds of thousands of families hit by the downturn.


Looks like the market hasn't taken at all well to your fucking genius, you Scottish tosser. (I'll leave it to to you to guess which particular Scottish tosser I mean.)

Even the LibDumbs think the VAT fiasco was a fucking pointless gesture:

Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg has added his voice to concerns that the government's temporary 2.5% VAT reduction has been a "waste of money".


(Although to be fair to the Brown Darling, Cleggover's idea for what to do with the money is even fucking dumber:
The party would have spent the £12.5bn cost of the measure on creating jobs through investments to make schools, hospitals and homes greener, he said.
)

In other news, Peter Oborne reckons that the Gorgon is going to co-opt the useless LibDumbs into a coalistion of centre-left, statist, pro-EU, incompetent dildoes to beat the centre-right, statist, pro-EU, incompetent Troy dildoes in the upcoming election.

It's so good to have such a diverse set of options facing the electorate, isn't it? Are we lucky?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Obnoxio. I had just the same thought as you about the IR cut. WTFF are these cunt-trumpetting clowns playing at. The Gorgon and the Badger need to be ritually torured and left maimed and Learish on a blasted moor for us to laugh at on Sky.

Word: beingis!

Dr Evil said...

Anyone who uses a tour operator is daft. They are helping make his profit. Better to book your flight and hotel/villa etc directly. I am and taking the family off to Gibraltar again. Same currency as us, nice climate, no language problems. Civilised place and probably very little chance of being blown up, shot at or abducted. Will not therefore be pootling over to Marocco.

It's certainly not worth saving any money. Spend it and enjoy it before we all get locked up for breathing without a licence.

Devil's Kitchen said...

"Are we lucky?"

Say "yes, Paul..."

DK

banned said...

"Sterling's slump against the euro and other currencies and rising prices in "bargain basement" Turkey and Egypt will put the cost of a week on a foreign beach in August beyond the reach of hundreds of thousands of families hit by the downturn."

Well thats one way to save the polar bears from aircraft emmissions.