Thursday, 12 March 2009

Coventry: hell on earth

I had to go to Ikea today. First time I've ever been. First time I've ever been to Coventry, too.

Ikea wasn't as bad as I was expecting. At least it wasn't busy and the staff appeared to be able to string coherent sentences together.

But Coventry ... what a fucking shithole! It was like the set of Little Britain, stuffed with mongs, chavs, mobility scooters, bad drivers and fucking suicidal pedestrians. Plus the road layout was designed by someone who expected that people would all be travelling on Vespas or something.

I thought I lived in an utter toilet, but fuck me, it's like Portmeiron by comparison.

Passed a truck on the way home, apparently it belongs to "Dick Filmer". "Mr Brown, are you ready for your closeup?"

6 comments:

sixtypoundsaweekcleaner said...

My parents met and married there. I was born there. My sister graduated there. It's a luverly place. You just need to wear specs that's all.

Window Licker said...

You lived to tell the tale, you obviously didn't go near Wood End.

Even though I'd rather admit to fucking a rancid, dead donkey than admit to shopping in Ikea.

Mitch said...

Ikea man that's just nasty.

The Penguin said...

I like the way those clever chaps at Ikea have names for all their stuff. Dining Chairs called Arss, for example.

I've never forgiven the Luftwaffe for not doing a proper job on Coventry.

The Penguin.

The Remittance Man said...

Penguin,

I may be wrong, but I suspect that before 1940 Coventry probably wasn't such a bad place. No worse than most other Midlands and Northern industrial cities anyway.

My own suspicion is that the real damage was done not by the Luftwaffe, but by assorted town "planners" in the post-war years.

To make my point: The Luftwaffe never really managed damage on the scale later achieved by the combined RAF/USAAF bombing offensive. Yet most German cities are quite pleasant in comparison to their British counterparts.

Effie said...

A biger bauncy guyto noob