Monday, 30 March 2009

G20 protests nicely skewered

Teh funneh:

There's city dust in my eyes, and my legs feel like blocks of wood as we take the final mile down Picadilly towards Hyde Park. A painted banner flaps against my body, proclaiming us Anti-Capitalist Feminists. And I'm still chanting. I'm an animal, a tiny, burning ball of rage and justice, I've got all my sisters with me, it's been four hours since my last latte and I'm running on adrenaline and outrage. Me and thirty-five thousand others.
Anti-Capitalist Feminists? That must be quite a niche group. The sort of group that has about three members on your standard university campus. And each of those three members is the sort of ranting bore you would cross the street to avoid.

But for me the best line is the one about “my last latte”. Fucking hell, there is nothing more communist or feminist then quaffing lattes before going on a protest march. Lenin used to do that, you know. Just before he seized power in Russia, he was in Starbucks having a latte. Those miners in the miner’s strike of the mid-80’s, they were quaffing latte’s too. It really is the drink of the working class revolutionaries.

11 comments:

Chalcedon said...

Latte is just fucking hot milk and vile. From the look of the mob i reckon it's more like 10,000 not 35,000. The cops inflate the figures to justify their costs.

Mark Wadsworth said...

Good point on the latte, verily a pretentious drink if there ever was one. In this context, WTF do "tall" and "skinny" mean, or "to go" for that matter?

And why do they always say "Can I get..." rather than "Could I have a ... please"?

Capuccino is the true drink of revolutionaries, as any fule kno.

Obnoxio The Clown said...

@Mark, were you behind me in the queue today? :o)

Although I don't say "Can I get ... "

I just say "Tall, skinny latte to go, please." :o>

Damo Mackerel said...

I found this interesting:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3q3upFx4FcA

Also, isn't it 'May I have'?

Old Bag said...

ah bollocks to all that starbucks poncey shite. just get a jar of tesco's own make coffee granules and a flask!

SteveShark said...

'Capuccino is the true drink of revolutionaries, as any fule kno.'

Yes, but only with an extra shot.

I'll get me Che T-shirt...

Trixy said...

Jeez, those lezzers are so fucking brave. Fancy walking down the road. Walking! And without a nice chap to carry their provisions for them.

I do hope they were sensible and wore some nice flatties instead of those heels men force women to wear in the office.

subrosa said...

Oh Trixy a woman with sense. Mind you no man ever forced me to wear stockings for board meetings - it was all my own work. Great confidence builder.

Trixy said...

Quite agree. Anyway, no point in doing what a man demands. They've normally forgotten by the time it comes around for one.

sixtypoundsaweekcleaner said...

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, 'Father may I ask a favour?'

'Of course child, what may I do for you?'

'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?'

'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.'

'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'

When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.

The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'

'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.'

The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'

'I have a marvellous instrument designed to bring warmth and pleasure to a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'

Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next!'

MochaMarxist said...

Comrades! Comrades! Let us not argue over which fair trade coffee product is the drink of the revolutionaries. It matters not!

When the hammer and sickle flies proudly over the mother of parliament, and the will of the workers is represented by honest men and women, there will be latte for all.

Of course, mine will have chocolate sprinkles on the top and won't be made with rancid milk. . .