Britain's most senior counter-terrorism officer has resigned after inadvertently revealing details of a highly secret police operation.
Mayor of London Boris Johnson said it was "with great sadness" that he had accepted Assistant Commissioner Bob Quick's resignation.
Good riddance, you little fear-mongering lickspittle turd.
Amid frantic behind the scenes activity last night, the government issued an 'F-Notice', designed to alert the media that a senior security official has been identified as a 'fucknut'.
Home Office sources said the plan to beat seven shades of shit out of you is a downgraded version of an original plan to just shoot you in the face.
A senior official said: "We have to remember what our key objective is - using the broad palette of police brutality to keep you in a constant state of fear.
"Shooting someone in the face does look a tad pre-meditated. With random, indiscriminate assaults it's much easier to claim that an individual officer just got a bit 'carried away'."
Dr Tom Logan, a security analyst, said: "A society can survive when its police force is either violent or stupid, but you really can't do both at the same time."
Tip of the clown wig to Silas the fat northern hobbit.