Monday, 4 May 2009

I have the bleary-eyed look ...

... of a man who's been wanking furiously all night over the very idea that I was this good:

Ed Balls: The prime minister's right hand man who now harbours ambitions to succeed him. But backbenchers are divided; Some say he is a charmless, gutless little turd, while others insist he has a face you could punch all day.

Nick Brown: The chief whip has been described as Mr Brown's 'hatchet man' as if he's some kind of East End gangster, but is actually just some fat ponce of a politician who would piss himself in a bar fight.

Hazel Blears: Britain's most powerful Borrower. Lives inside the skirting boards at Number 10 where she chews through the modem cables and eats off an old bobbin. Can make a Babybel cheese last for a month.

James Purnell: If it looks like a junior salesman and sounds like a junior salesman, you call it what it is.

And just for Trixy:

David Miliband: Enjoys bananas... Has dark hair... Quite tall? Unless we're thinking of someone else.


Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Once again they hit the nail on the head. Top stuff.

JuliaM said...

They are really on top form with this one, aren't they?

Dave Cameron said...

Very good.
Very good indeed,care to "do a line with me"

Mitch said...


Captain Ranty said...

I have been reading the Daily Mash since it first kicked off.

Just lately I am convinced that it is no longer a spoof newspaper.

I believe it is actually factual.

Of course, I have also ruined some very good underwear as well. It is fucking funny.