Wednesday, 6 May 2009

Tory Transformations?

Tim Montgomerie has a list of key manifesto pledges here:

The most electorally potent Tory policies

  1. The abolition of inheritance tax for all but millionaires.

  2. I just don't buy into this. IHT is a pernicious tax on money that has already survived being taxed to buggery. It's great that they are raising the allowance, but really, this tax should just go. It is the state's final "fuck you" to every person.

  3. Tax relief for savers.

  4. Good. We need to encourage saving.

  5. A two year freeze in the council tax and a long-term power for local communities to veto large rises in their council tax.

  6. Sounds good, but what is a "large rise"? And does anyone think that a "large rise" is going to get anything but a hearty "fuck off" from the long-suffering taxpayer?

  7. New powers for headteachers to exclude disruptive schoolchildren.

  8. Sounds good, but what does it mean? And how will the freshly buttered potato overcome the forces of the righteous?

  9. An end to mixed NHS wards.

  10. OK. Didn't Labour try to do this for a decade?

  11. Scrapping ID cards and the wider promises to dismantle Labour's surveillance state.

  12. Mmm ... once again, it sounds good, but what does it mean? Will Dave just be window-dressing the removal of ID cards by moving the databases into the passport department? Or will he genuinely be freeing us up?

  13. A reduction in the number of MPs.

  14. Excellent idea. Cutting them in half? Oh ... a piddling, cosmetic cut. Oh well ... better than nothing, I guess.

  15. A promise to give all voters a referendum on any future transfer of power to the European Union.

  16. Ah, sneaky: any future transfer of power. So anything that has happened by the time the Tories get into power is there for good.

  17. Powers for English MPs to take charge of scrutinising legislation that only affects English constituencies.

  18. Sure, whatever. We believe you.

  19. An annual cap on the number of people that can enter Britain from outside of the European Union.

  20. EPIC FAIL. I don't care how many people come to the UK if they are coming for the right reason. If they're coming for the dole, then one such person is too many. If they are coming to live here, fit in, contribute to British life and pay taxes, there is no real limit to how many I would welcome. And anyway, non-EU citizens aren't the "problem".

    Totally pointless.

The most transformational Tory policies

  1. The control of public expenditure so that Britain lives within its means again. The establishment of the Office of Budgetary Responsibility will ensure that no Chancellor can bend the fiscal rules for political convenience.

  2. Hm. So we're going to hand over control of public expenditure to unelected, unaccountable bureaucrats? I think this is an epic fail.

  3. Publishing all government expenditures over £50,000 (the 'Google government' policy) will force politicians and civil servants to think more carefully about how they spend taxpayers' money.

  4. Truly, the single best idea ever from the Tories. I bet the civil service must be absolutely shitting themselves. (And then planning how they will do lots of little things for £49,500 instead.) And I wonder how much of this will actually happen because of violation of "commercial confidentiality". But still ... excellent stuff!

  5. Freedom for parents to establish new schools and for those schools to be able to decide their own system of examination and their teachers' pay and conditions.

  6. Pity there is no explicit mention of home schooling. But also a good idea. Almost libertarian, but don't tell Dave, eh?

  7. Ending all forms of discrimination in the tax and benefits system against the married family.

  8. I'm sure this will wind up punishing single or unmarried people somehow, instead.

  9. The direct election of police chiefs so that local communities get more responsive, more effective crime-fighting.

  10. Excellent idea. Although a lot depends on implementation, of course!

  11. The £6,500 energy efficiency facility which will see hundreds of thousands of homes become cheaper to heat and less damaging to the environment.

  12. Stupid, stupid, stupid, wasteful, cosmetic and pointless.

And no real mention of the elephant in the room, either. What laws can Dave actually implement?


captainff said...

Excellent idea. Cutting them in half? Oh ... a piddling, cosmetic cut.What if it were actually cutting them in half? Would you approve then? And which method would you advocate .. .. chainsaw or laser?


Obnoxio The Clown said...

@captainff: whatever hurt the most.

Maturecheese said...

'EPIC FAIL. I don't care how many people come to the UK if they are coming for the right reason.'

Christ, how many is too many then, 70 million,80 million, 100 million. Is it just me that thinks that this tiny island is ALREADY far too populated. Perhaps you live in some quiet little hamlet in the country(if there is still such a place) but where I live, I see the effects of an increasing population, daily. Concrete multicultural jungle here we come.

Obnoxio The Clown said...

But the problem isn't the number of people. If all the people who lived here were making a useful contribution to society, Britain would be a superb place to live.

It's true that the South East is very densely populated, but that is because all the money is there.

And it's true that ghettoisation of multi-cultural Britain is not helping things. Which is why you can't just let people in without changing other things ... like abolishing benefits and replacing them with a citizens' income, payable ONLY to subjects of Her Majesty.

Henry North London said...

Nice Fisking. Love the buttered new potato reference, Juliette will love you to bits

Anonymous said...

Ref 3 - OK, but they need to make it clear that only council-tax PAYERS will be allowed a say, otherwise it's just two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for lunch, as at present.

Ref 8 - sneaky. El Gordo will have ratified the Lisbon Treaty by the time of the election, and that treaty is self-modifying: it already includes the right for the EU to make any changes it wants, WIHTOUT the need for any more treaties or explicit open moves. What we need is the PAST transfers of power, particularly including Lisbon, to be reversed.

Anonymous said...

You have got to be joking about allowing more people in. At some point later this year we are going to have a gilt strike, which will lead to a currency collapse. When that happens we are going to struggle to pay for food imports. Given that we import 50% of our food, we are going to have a major crisis on our hands.
Perhaps you should read 'Collapse' by Jared Diamond, he gives a good run down on what happens to societies that outgrow their environments, it isn't a bundle of laughs.

Obnoxio The Clown said...

I think you're missing the point. If we abolish the benefit culture, a lot of people will piss off to soemwhere that will keep on dishing out free dosh.

Did you know that if we chose to live at the population density of Manhattan, the entire world's population would fit into the the state of Pennsylvania in the US?

Mr Potarto said...

Not according to Wikipedia.

Manhattan population, 2007: 1,620,867
Mahattan land area: 22.96 square miles
70,595 residents per square mile

Pennsylvania land area: 46,055 square miles

46,055 x 70,595 = 3.25 billion people.

Of course, while disproving your statement I agree with your essential point. Arizona would provide enough space for 8 billion people at Manhattan densities, and California a further 11.5 billion.

They'd have to go out of state to get their food, mind.

ukipwebmaster said...

Talking of Tory transformations.

Kenneth Clarke going off-message:

And Dave's reaction:

Mac the Knife said...

"Cutting them in half?"

Literally I hope. It'll be interesting to see which ones have 'Robbing Fuckpig' written through them like a stick of rock...