At this rate somebody could end up getting killed

Coffee / keyboard interface:

The ECB said the English squad reported feeling 'odd' before the game, after eating a basket of complimentary muffins sent by the Dutch side.

A spokesman added: "Once they'd been finished them, they ordered three dozen doughnuts and a load of bacon sandwiches.

"By the coin toss, half of them were discussing what an amazing colour James Foster's car was and the other half were still in the pavilion, pissing themselves laughing at a SpongeBob SquarePants DVD."