Tuesday, 28 July 2009

Fick dich durch technik

I was idly thumbing through an old copy of Private Eye when I saw an advert for something called the Driver Information System from Audi. Apparently, if you're in the wrong gear, or the window is open or the rear screen heater is on for too long (in the fucking car's opinion!) you will be told nicely to cease and desist, in the name of Gaia.

Well, Audi, all I can say is shove that fucking nannying shit right up your arse.

You cunts.


Lexander said...

Well I think a lot of computers should have a similar system fitted
automatically once you have completed an IQ test. Not mine of course or the Clown's. ! I once had an Audi and always remember it with great affection. It it was wrecked by an uninsured Pakki having being parked outside a brothel in downtown Birmingham. He has still not (after 30 years) coughed up compensation. Ah well.

Edgar said...

Oh, you think that is going too far, do you? I have a set of cutlery from Australia which contains protein analysis sensors and a small loudspeaker. You should hear the language that comes out of the thing if I try to eat non-free-range eggs and, in any case, am I not late for my kangaroo-wrestling class.

Ross said...

When will the Germans stop trying to give everyone orders?

RobW said...

My phone does that when I've finished charging it. But it is a Nokia so I can throw it against a wall occassionally and it won't break.

JuliaM said...

"Apparently, if you're in the wrong gear..."

I have an auto. If I'm in the wrong gear, IT'S THE CAR'S FAULT!

"...or the rear screen heater is on for too long..."

I thought those things were on a timer anyway?

Bristol Dave said...

My phone does that when I've finished charging it.

I wonder why! Mobile phone chargers are Switch Mode Power Supplies which means once the phone is charged, the power consumed is so negligible it's not even worth unplugging it.

God, if tech companies are now pandering to the MMGW movement we really are fucked.