From the vaults (an occasional series) - Make Poverty History

[snap]

Every three seconds

[snap]

A ponce in his white shirt

[snap]

Clicks his fingers

[snap]

Trying to make you feel guilt

[snap]

What a fucking crock of shit, eh? Fucking white shirts, all the same, to take your mind off the fact that most movie stars and rock stars are multi-millionaires who could personally undo a large chunk of world poverty. But why should they, when cunts will happily fork out a chunk of their own cash on some amorphous goal for the greater good?

I mean, how many people texting for their tickets actually stopped to think about the fact that they weren't donating the premium rate funds to starving kids, but actually just funding the rock concerts? I mean, if Bob and co were that fucking fussed about it, why wouldn't they stick their hands in their own cunting pockets, instead of ours for a change? The biggest bands in the world couldn't afford to put the show in out of their own pockets? So, what did the fuckers contribute? Their valuable time. In exchange for the kind of publicity you can't fucking buy!

And that's just the gig. Let's see what other valuable contributions Mr Geldof has made: trying to incite a major riot on Edinburgh, advising kids to skip school to protest, and a vapid "manifesto" that could have come from a university's socialist union:

TRADE JUSTICE. DROP THE DEBT. MORE & BETTER AID.

Today, the gap between the world's rich and poor is wider than ever. Global injustices such as poverty, AIDS, malnutrition, conflict and illiteracy remain rife.

Despite the promises of world leaders, at our present sluggish rate of progress the world will fail dismally to reach internationally agreed targets to halve global poverty by 2015.

(Yeah? Well, maybe something more pressing came along in their own countries.)

World poverty is sustained not by chance or nature, but by a combination of factors: injustice in global trade; the huge burden of debt; insufficient and ineffective aid. Each of these is exacerbated by inappropriate economic policies imposed by rich countries.

But it doesn't have to be this way. These factors are determined by human decisions.

2005 offers an exceptional series of opportunities for the UK to take a lead internationally, to start turning things around. Next year, as the UK hosts the annual G8 gathering of powerful world leaders and heads up the European Union (EU), the UK Government will be a particularly influential player on the world stage.

(Oh, will it now? How will hosting a group of politicians increase our influence over them? How will a six-month leadership of the EU influence them in any way? I think it all sounds like a load of bollocks, and if I was a cynical person, I would say that this whole thing and the opportunistic way that Nyoo Layber have jumped on the bandwagon smells like a Peter Mandelson-contrived way of rebranding the fuckers as caring, understanding, nineties-types all over again. The fuckers.)

A sea change is needed. By mobilising popular support across a unique string of events and actions, we will press our own government to compel rich countries to fulfil their obligations and promises to help eradicate poverty, and to rethink some long-held assumptions.

(Excuse me, but exactly which cunting obligations are these? We live in countries that can get their act together {albeit to a limited extent} and so therefore we are obliged to bail out countries that stand by and let themselves be governed by thieves?)

MakePovertyHistory urges the government and international decision makers to rise to the challenge of 2005. We are calling for urgent and meaningful policy change on three critical and inextricably linked areas: trade, debt and aid.

Trade justice
Fight for rules that ensure governments, particularly in poor countries, can choose the best solutions to end poverty and protect the environment. These will not always be free trade policies.

(What the fuck??? So, what they want is for the first world to spread their cheeks for the third world to do whatever they want? Hmmm, does that sound like one of Gordon Brown's ideas?)

End export subsidies that damage the livelihoods of poor rural communities around the world.

(Probably the only useful thing in the whole manifesto. But this requires the French to give up their enormous CAP subsidies. Isn't that weird? Exactly what Tony Blair has been saying. Still, must just be an enormous coincidence.)

Make laws that stop big business profiting at the expense of people and the environment.

(OK, now this is where it all starts to go off the rails a bit: what, exactly, does the environment have to do with world poverty? Where does big business fit into this? And isn't it ironic that employees and lackeys some of the world's biggest businesses are putting their names to this?

Here is a hint, you dumb cuntfucks: big business eradicates poverty. It employs millions of people around the world. Sure, the cunters don't enjoy an idyllic lifestyle, but for fuck's sake -- neither do I. You need more business, not less. All this bullshit about exploiting child labour and not paying the minimum wage: that, surely, is a matter for the country concerned -- if they don't have a minimum wage, then they should vote for the party that will introduce one. Actually, the lack of a minimum wage just opens the labour market, once employment is "rife", people will have to get paid more.)

The rules of international trade are stacked in favour of the most powerful countries and their businesses. On the one hand these rules allow rich countries to pay their farmers and companies subsidies to export food destroying the livelihoods of poor farmers. On the other, poverty eradication, human rights and environmental protection come a poor second to the goal of 'eliminating trade barriers'.

(Funnily enough, most big businesses want to see the elimation of trade barriers.)

We need trade justice not free trade. This means the EU single-handedly putting an end to its damaging agricultural export subsidies now; it means ensuring poor countries can feed their people by protecting their own farmers and staple crops; it means ensuring governments can effectively regulate water companies by keeping water out of world trade rules; and it means ensuring trade rules do not undermine core labour standards.

(So, how does the EU removing agricultural subsidies differ from having free trade? )

We need to stop the World Bank and International Monetary Fund (IMF) forcing poor countries to open their markets to trade with rich countries, which has proved so disastrous over the past 20 years; the EU must drop its demand that former European colonies open their markets and give more rights to big companies; we need to regulate companies - making them accountable for their social and environmental impact both here and abroad; and we must ensure that countries are able to regulate foreign investment in a way that best suits their own needs.

(Yes, because they haven't been salting away nearly enough of their fucking aid in Switzerland already, have they? )

Drop the debt
The unpayable debts of the world's poorest countries should be cancelled in full, by fair and transparent means.

(Hey, that's a cool idea! Let's all run up huge fucking credit card debts and then when we can't afford to pay it back, we'll just ask Bob to hold a concert for us! That will work, won't it?)

Despite grand statements from world leaders, the debt crisis is far from over. Rich countries have not delivered on the promise they made more than six years ago to cancel unpayable poor country debts. As a result, many countries still have to spend more on debt repayments than on meeting the needs of their people.

(Actually, I thought most countries actually had had their debt written off or were about to very shortly. Good thing I'm not cynical about the timing of all this shit, because if I were, I'd be inclined to think that they had scheduled this gig at a point where it might look like they'd made a difference. I also thought the debt write off was conditional upon the cunters getting their houses in order, or would uncle Bob like us to just keep chucking money at the bastards until we're as poor as they are?)

Rich countries and the institutions they control must act now to cancel all the unpayable debts of the poorest countries. They should not do this by depriving poor countries of new aid, but by digging into their pockets and providing new money.

(Ah! of course! We'll just keep digging into the pockets of the richest governments in the world, not forgetting that governments don't actually have any cunting money as such -- so when they reach deep into their pockets, those slimy hands force their way into ours! Now, I don't know about you, but I reckon I pay enough fucking tax already, and I don't get good value from my tax money as it is. I really can't see why I should be subsidising thieving cunts in Africa and Asia as well.)

The task of calculating how much debt should be cancelled must no longer be left to creditors concerned mainly with minimising their own costs. Instead, we need a fair and transparent international process to make sure that human needs take priority over debt repayments.

(It's easy to see how wiping out the debt will eradicate misery and hunger around the globe. Oh, no -- actually, it isn't. And what a cunting surprise, eh, creditors wanting to minimise their costs! Here we are giving these cunters billions of dollars, they renege on their payments and we get taken to task? What were we thinking? )

International institutions like the IMF and World Bank must stop asking poor countries to jump through hoops in order to qualify for debt relief. Poor countries should no longer have to privatise basic services or liberalise economies as a condition for getting the debt relief they so desperately need.

(Yes, let's just let the same old corrupt practices of nepotism, bribery and corruption carry on -- that's a much better way of ensuring justice for all those starving fuckers, eh? )

And to avoid another debt crisis hard on the heels of the first, poor countries need to be given more grants, rather than seeing their debt burden piled even higher with yet more loans.

(What the cunting fuck?!?!?!?

So, just to make sure I've understood this cunter correctly: we've just wiped out billions of pounds of debt, just pissed that money down the drain, and now you want us to give the cunters some more??????

Dear Bob and company:

GO FUCK YOURSELVES!

)

More and better aid
Donors must now deliver at least $50 billion more in aid and set a binding timetable for spending 0.7% of national income on aid. Aid must also be made to work more effectively for poor people.

($50 billion more from our back pockets? And 1% of our fucking national income? FUCK THAT! I'd rather have that 1% go into my pension fund or into drugs or loose women. I sure as FUCK do not want to be funding some corrupt African despot with my fucking money.)

Poverty will not be eradicated without an immediate and major increase in international aid. Rich countries have promised to provide the extra money needed to meet internationally agreed poverty reduction targets. This amounts to at least $50 billion per year, according to official estimates, and must be delivered now. Rich countries have also promised to provide 0.7% of their national income in aid and they must now make good on their commitment by setting a binding timetable to reach this target.

(Why don't you issue a binding timetable to fuck off and die, you cunts? Where is your cunting contribution to all this, if you feel so fucking passionate about it? Why don't you sell off all your stuff and give the money to them, you cunts?)

However, without far-reaching changes in how aid is delivered, it won't achieve maximum benefits. Two key areas of reform are needed.

First, aid needs to focus better on poor people's needs. This means more aid being spent on areas such as basic healthcare and education. Aid should no longer be tied to goods and services from the donor, so ensuring that more money is spent in the poorest countries. And the World Bank and the IMF must become fully democratic in order for poor people's concerns to be heard.

(This actually made me fucking snort with laughter. Did any of these cunts actually do any kind of logic at school? What the fucking, fucking FUCK does the democracy or otherwise of the World Bank and the IMF have to do with how aid is distributed? Why the cunting fuck should they hear what the poor people's concerns are?)

Second, aid should support poor countries and communities' own plans and paths out of poverty. Aid should therefore no longer be conditional on recipients promising economic change like privatising or deregulating their services, cutting health and education spending, or opening up their markets: these are unfair practices that have never been proven to reduce poverty. And aid needs to be made predictable, so that poor countries can plan effectively and take control of their own budgets in the fight against poverty.

(OK, how about his YOU STUPID CUNTING FUCKS???? America: richest country in the world, privatised and deregulated to fuck, minimal public health and education spending, open markets. Does that fucking prove that these unfair practices reduce poverty? )

MakePovertyHistory is a unique UK alliance of charities, trade unions, campaigning groups and celebrities who are mobilising around key opportunities in 2005 to drive forward the struggle against poverty and injustice.

(Yes, a bunch of shit-stirring lefties {as long as it doesn't impact their own pocket} along with empty-headed fucking numpties who are all just in it to fucking up their media profile by tagging along with some fucking noble-sounding, but utterly specious and fatuous fucking codswallop.)

The only useful thing these cunting fucks achieved was to reunite Pink Floyd on stage.

And for that, I'll forgive the cunters all of the above.


Originally posted here.