Guest Post: The Public by Frances the Mute

Expansive one this. However, I will focus on just one particular facet of the publics retarded nature for this post. The public, in supermarkets.

As usual, I saunter off to my local supermarket for lunch everyday. I pick up my supply of fresh fruit, water and cheeky sandwich. I find the hour break from work either going for a walk or sitting in the car listening to music, gives me the impetus to actually trurn back up after the hour has finished. Needless to say, it's a special little break in the day for me.

Now, it's been infiltrated by special people. The public.

Maybe it's a knee jerk response to the promise of a Christmas shopping bonanza that is currently touting it's wares everywhere. But, the place has become over run with feckless mindless dullards; with no actual concept of a world revolving around them or spacial awareness.

Burrowing around like the vermin they are, stockpiling food for the inevitable nuclear winter that is November, they are becoming increasingly fucking annoying. Today saw a few incidents.
People fighting over the discount shelves for the rarest of all home cook pizzas; the one that tastes like a franchise pizza store pizza. A mad scramble for cut price houmous and courgettes. A veritable bounty, I think you'll agree...

After lifting my incredulous jaw up off the floor, I beat a hasty retreat to the fruit section for my daily banana fix. And there bless her, is someones gran - loose and in charge of a trolley. Quite why she finds the need to pull the trolley, instead of guiding it in the direction of her travel in front of her is patently best known only to her.
Of course, the first victim is Mr Polish Bricklayer from the site across the road. Shinned like a good 'un, you can bet he's going to ask his gaffer for some leg protection when he gets back to the site. Either that or a week off...
Next up and almost instantly after, is the three year old toddler on a leash to his mother. Naturally, the leash and an unsuspecting mother are no match for 50 kilos of indiscriminately guided steel. Yup, the kid takes a hit in the shoulder. Enough to put him on his ass and start crying.
I actually laughed at this one. I'm not a fan of the small people.

So, two down in mere seconds. Who's next? I have to admit, I was compelled to hang around and take valuable time out of my lunch hour, to see what precipitated next. Unfortunately it wasn't that exciting. She took out a small stack of apple crates. She still mananged to make a mess and the crates were heavy enough to offer resistance, so they blind twat actually made the effort to review what could possibly stop her expiditing her lethal trail to the checkout.

I felt like asking her why she was so fucking stupid, given the fact she had been on the earth much longer than I so it stood to reason she'd have a clue about shopping trolleys. But, decided against it. I'd probably end up in the local gaol house with a pending harrasment case hanging over my head. You can't say boo to a goose these days...

Old people...they don't just smell of piss you know

Originally posted here.