Monday 14 September 2009

Oh, for the fucking sake of fucking fuck!

I'm just back from a week in foreign climes when the dreaded email arrives: client visit in Malta.

I don't mind the travel and I like to see stuff, but I need to catch my breath from time to time, you cunts.

11 comments:

Nick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nick said...

Clam the hell down,at least you have a job. Count yourself lucky you have not fallen victim of gordon's attempt to achieve 100% unemployment in britain

http://newslion.blogspot.com

Joe Public said...

If you were an MP, it'd be an opportunity to take wife / girlfriend / partner / office assistant to a holiday hotspot at Taxpayers expense.

Why, with a little creative accounting (or inadvertent 'clerical error') you may even be able to wangle a ticket for a second friend too.

Leg-iron said...

You lucky sod. My last business trip was to Berwick-upon-Tweed.

I'll never develop a decent carbon footprint at this rate.

HeartAttackSurvivor said...

At least they drive on the left-hand side of the road, like civilised people.
Unfortunately, not being civilised, they drive where the fuck they fucking like. Oh and hire cars have a big, red, neon sign on top saying "FOREIGNER". And the roads are shit.

Tip: half of them love the Brits 'cos we helped them hold the hun off in the 2nd war. The other half fucking hate us for being colonial bastards.

And the floozies are all fat, having just discovered McDonald's and Dunkin' Donuts and having loads of Italian big fst momma ancestry.

Enjoy yourself!

HeartAttackSurvivor said...

By the way, is it the MSU (Management Systems Unit)? Social Security, National Health scheme and benefits in a building called Blat-L-Bajda in Floriana? Whatever you do, DON'T mention Mountfield Software. Mob I was with, and the shower we sent out there fucked it up good 'n proper for them in 1994 or so. Sorry.

Obnoxio The Clown said...

No idea who or what the customer is yet. Vaguely have the idea it's some sort of conglomerate involving construction.

Stockwell Stu said...

Just got back from Malta its fecking lovely - just make full use of the expense account

Paul said...

Malta is a lovely place. Get on the old buses and talk to the drivers. They're good fellas out there - none of this get on, give us your money and get off bollocks.

Have a bottle of Farsons Blue Label. It's piss weak at 3.3% but will probably remind you of something. A very addictive brew, that one. Sit there with that stupid clown make-up on of yours and think of all the old soldiers who longed for the stuff. Think of what Britain was and can be once more.

The milk stout is alright too if you like that sort of thing - much like a milky mild, in fact.

Oh, and have some rabbit. They like rabbits. They're not so squeamish about it like we are.

David Gillies said...

Oh boo fucking hoo. Expenses-paid trip to Malta in September. Shades of 'don't throw me into the briar patch, Brer Fox'.

Next thing we'll hear: "dreaded email arrives: I am commanded to have sex with Megan Fox three times daily until further notice."

Captain Ranty said...

Yes, they do like rabbits. They eat over 5 million of them a year.

Find The Pub in Valetta. Its full of Ollie Reed stuff. He had his fatal heart attack in there after drinking a superhuman amount of booze.

Look south. I'll give you a wave from Tripoli. I'll be the jealous-looking one because I wont have access to a cold beer....