If I was David Cameron I would seize this historic opportunity to tell Rupert Murdoch to piss up a rope, but he won't because, like all our political leaders, he really is a male prostitute who will do incredibly dirty things in a public toilet for five quid and a chocolate Hobnob.
Exhibit B:
Mark Page talks bollocks and is blatantly a virgin. You don't have to be in the top set at rocket science to work out that someone with a massive, catalogued marble collection probably isn't nailing a lot of fanny.
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