Wednesday, 21 October 2009

FUCK!

I am SUCH a cunt. Left my lights on in the cockmobile, now it won't start.

Fucking AA will be an hour, too.

My life sucks.

24 comments:

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Awwwwwww!

aljahom said...

Never known the RAC to take more than 30 minutes.

Having worked at AA HQ for some years, and witnessed many a nonsense decision, I'd never buy their products.

Obnoxio The Clown said...

"Never known the RAC to take more than 30 minutes."

I've never known them to take less than 45.

Ross said...

"Fucking AA will be an hour, too."


Good, you don't want to start drinking again, but what are you doing about the car?

Obnoxio The Clown said...

Prepare to take your face off my hand, Ross. :o#

sixtypoundsaweekcleaner said...

Well, I had a leaking urinal and chips on the floor today, so think yourself lucky!

microdave said...

Buy some Jump Leads.....

Welshy said...

Schoolboy Error!!!

Canute said...

You always were a late starter (and a cunt)

Oleuanna said...

Do you do this stuff just to make my day.......

*smiling*

Bristol Dave said...

Get out and push it to a hill, you lazy cunt!

Wait....

...you don't drive a fucking automatic do you?!?

Anonymous said...

Buy Japanese, left my lights on 24 hours the other day and the fucker still going strong!

Best £1000 I ever spent.

bloke with nadgers said...

You've got a car you jammy bastard! After a long day sat in front of a computer, crippled with asteroids and the mump, it is all I can do to get astride my bicycle, gingerly heave my numb ball bag into the basket on the handlebars and grunt and squeak my way slowly home. My life doesn't suck, it slurps. You jammy wingeing bastard!

Leg-iron said...

Bloke with nadgers - you have a bike? Jammy bastard. All I have is the bottom half of a Dalek and even that is speed limited to two miles a month.

Obo - I recall something called a battery charger from the old days. Don't they make those any more?

I also used to have an ancient Vauxhall with a bleeper thing that said 'You have turned the engine off but left the lights on, you utter dick'.

Don't they make those any more either?

I think they can be retrofitted, even to Ausin Sevens, you know.

Mitch said...

Franky obo this "penis extension" looks a bit limp;-)

JuliaM said...

God, can't do that in my car, there's a shrill alarm that whines at you as soon as you open the door if you've left lights on.

Maybe the 'nanny state' is good for something after all?

JuliaM said...

Be surprised if it really did take the AA an hour to reach you though, unless you were really remote or in the middle of a jam.

I've called them a couple of time and always got 'an hour' as estimated time on site, yet they were mostly with my withing 20 minutes.

I think 'an hour' is just standard operating practice for the call-takers.

Fidel Cuntstruck said...

Obo, you should have told them you were a woman, broken down, lost and frightened - they'd probably have believed you :0)

Anonymous said...

Obo probably unwilling to admit that there is a broken down,lost and frightened women in his trunk.

aljahom said...

God, can't do that in my car, there's a shrill alarm that whines at you as soon as you open the door if you've left lights on.

Yes - so does my car, but being on the phone while exiting the car, renders that ineffective.

That and my BMW used to tell me crap like "washer fluid low" and "check numberplate light" and "ooh that shirt really goes with your eyes" before it'd mention the fucking lights. By which time I'm half way up the cocking street.

essor Stephen Hawking said...

Leg-Iron, is the bottom half of the dalek for sale? mileage, colour, weapons etc?

Obnoxio The Clown said...

Mr Cuntstruck: please click here.

Al Jahom and others: the car does actually make a noise to warn you that your lights are on, but it makes so many other noises, I didn't hear the light noise.

BTS said...

You mean the whimpering coming from the boot..?

w/v:exusneya - I'm starting a campaign to have dyslexia re-named this.

Anonymous said...

National Breakdown man says

http://www.amazon.co.uk/900-Emergency-jump-start-compressor/dp/B000MP4SS8

900 Amp Emergency jump start with air compressor

You can use the compressor for the blow-up doll.