Saturday, 19 December 2009

It's inevitable, really

Is it just me, or have we started getting snow slightly more regularly than we used to? Anyway, let's fucking face it, snow in the UK is not exactly fucking unheard of, is it?

So why the fucking fuck does the fucking cuntry collapse every time we get half an inch? Jesus fucking wept, the schools were all fucking closed, OBVIOUSLY. So there were fucking hordes of school kids running around having a fucking ball, all so the useless cuntish teachers could skive off a fucking day early.

Trains were all fucked (of course!) and the roads were full of people who clearly didn't fucking remember what happened last year when they drove in the snow.

Christ, I can't believe the monumental levels of incompetence and stupidity in this country.



Trixy said...

I was okay, although I didn't cycle into work because I don't have long cycling trousers yet. But I did notice that the tubes were less frequent than usual, no doubt people thought they could get away with it because of a small amount of white, fluffy precipitation. Given that they're more packed than a train to Auschwitz anyway it wasn't a good move.

Weston Bay said...

T'as always been the same story year after fucking year. Two centimetres of snow and the nation goes brain-achingly bonkers. Probably something to do with our insipid mediocrity. Nothing really exciting happens here so when a few flakes fall from the heavens it's the Blitz spirit all over again!

Oh! and all those cliches as well: "arctic blast", "siberian conditions", obviously terms coined by people who've never been to the Arctic or Siberia.

God help us if we had real snow- Canadian style with eight foot of the stuff in four hours with -30 in the breeze. Then there'd be something to fucking moan about.

It all gets so fucking tedious sometimes...

Joe Public said...

Haven't you heard, Global Warming is here to save us.

sobers said...

'Elf n Safety' innit Guv?

Can't ask kids to come to school in icy/snowy conditions, someone might slip and hurt themselves (and sue us).

Solution to most of life's problems -

Kill all the lawyers.

(Which has the added bonus of getting rid of Tony & Cherie as well).

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Norway and Sweden are poining and laughing at us.

We really are a bunch of hopeless pussies.

microdave said...

Yesterday I saw the following comment in a UK forum post entitled "Any one snowed in?"

"Left Sarajevo yesterday under two foot of snow, airport open and fully functional, all roads including minor ones free of snow and life carried on as normal.

Amazing how snow over here can cause the place to come to a stand still!!"

30 years ago I used to travel to work by motorcycle in all weathers, On one occasion I set off to my "local" - 20 miles away - in falling snow, had a few drinks and still made it back home without falling off.

This country is pathetic...

J Demetriou said...

You speak from my own heart here Obo. I couldn't agree more.

Also, schools: queues and queues and queues and traffic jams packed full of 4x4s and Range Rovers and Land Rovers of all models and descriptions. Each containing one small petit blond mum, and one kid in the back.


methaneman said...

Let me just say that the agw loonyism *can explain the cold weather and the snow. I was told by a warmist that agw is changing the salinity of the Atlantic, thereby causing us in these latitudes to have colder weather Ihe didn't really know how and why but he'd read it somewhere). What utter bollocks - anyway I thought we were all going to die in thousand degree heat infernos? Or is that just the third world while we freeze our arses off?

Obsidian said...

Last year was really comedic - the Manchester Evening News ran an article about cars finding it difficult to get through the snow.

Then the journo suggested that if we all voted YES to a Manc congestion card, then buses would magically be able to get through it.

Problem there was the buses my way were cancelled, so neatly demolishing said journos argument. Sometimes I think being a thick cunt is something a prerequisite to writing for the MEN.

Rod said...

Not so sure that Sweden are better than us Rab C. Nesbitt . See these 2 reports and

Umbongo said...

From 1947 to 1961 I went to school in London. My schools NEVER closed due to inclement weather (or anything else for that matter) and, yes, we had a bit of snow from time to time. My primary school didn't even close during the great smog of 1952 although the buses - not the tube - stopped running. As I recall, all the staff including the dinner ladies turned up right through the smog.

Anonymous said...


Writing for it, perhaps

Reading it, almost certainly.

If is any succour for you, here in France they are even more fucked up by a skittering of snow that looks more like icing sugar on one of their pastries.

I am going to have to migrate further south for warmth and bamboo.

Global Central Heating Warming my Pandoid Arse

HeartAttackSurvivor said...

Giles Coren succinctly nailed the snow/dogshit hazard on Saturday:

"Now, it’s bad enough in England when a fine blanket of snow settles on the world, and you step out into the street and immediately hit your first concealed urban dog sausage of the season"