Scientists have found camels to be the third-highest carbon-emitting animal per head on the planet, behind only cattle and buffalo. Culling the one million feral camels that currently roam the outback would be equivalent to taking 300,000 cars off the road in terms of the reduction to the country's greenhouse gases.
Well, if they're serious about this greenhouse gas crap, and they're feral camels, all I can say is "fair dinkum, mate!"
But Climate Change Minister Penny Wong told The Australian there was little point doing anything about Australia's feral camels as only the CO2 of the domesticated variety is counted under the Kyoto Protocol.
Er, what? So what we have here is a source of greenhouse gas emissions (fnaar, fnaar!) that could be removed without causing detriment to anyone and make a fairly significant difference to their Kyoto obligations, but there's no point in doing it?
Sorry? I thought we were all going to die, or flood dusky-skinned people in far-away lands, or cause endless droughts or move the Gulf stream or change the orbit of the planet or something. Either these greenhouse gases are dangerous and need to be contained, whatever the source, or this is really is just another fucking game, where well-connected businessmen make a fortune off the back of some nonsense, till it becomes mainstream and then bubbles and then the world has to cope with another economic meltdown, while the planet's tax collectors rub their hands in greedy glee.
And just to underscore what a load of bollocks this all is, cop an eyeful of this:
The absurdity of the UN carbon accounting systems was also highlighted by Mick Keogh, executive director of research group the Australian Farm Institute.
Mr Keogh noted that while emissions from a deliberately lit bushfire count under Kyoto, they did not if the fire was caused by lightning.
And it also varies depending on whether it razes privately owed land or a national park.
"When it's burning in the park, none of those emissions officially count, but when it spreads back out of the park to private land on the other side, it starts to again contribute to greenhouse emissions as measured by the UN's rules," he said.
You know, I could have sworn that they were trying to imply that carbon dioxide emissions from an accidentally started fire, or a fire on public ground, was not an issue for the planet.
How the fuckety fucking fuck does that work?
Tip of the clown wig to Counting Cats.