Monday, 8 March 2010

Whether the weather be hot...

Ah!

The Met Office is to stop publishing seasonal forecasts, after it came in for criticism for failing to predict extreme weather.


Oh!

So ...

Explaining its decision, the Met Office released a statement which said: "By their nature, forecasts become less accurate the further out we look.


Uh ... So who said this then?

If emissions continue to grow at present rates, CO2 concentration in the atmosphere is likely to reach twice pre-industrial levels by around 2050. Unless we limit emissions, global temperature could rise as much as 7 °C above pre-industrial temperature by the end of the century and push many of the world’s great ecosystems (such as coral reefs and rainforests) to irreversible decline.


Oh. That would be the same fucking Met Office who can't fucking tell us what the fucking weather is going to do tomorrow?

However, it said its short-term forecasts are "extremely accurate".


Short term? As in: the next five minutes, perhaps?

Cunts.

16 comments:

Oleuanna said...

lmfao !!

microdave said...

So it's 7C now is it? I don't remember seeing that figure before - they just seem to be making them up as they go along....

HeartAttackSurvivor said...

The magnificent Marty Feldman did it best:
http://standanddeliver.blogs.com/dombo/files/Marty_weather.mp3
(may need to download this to play it)

wv: snonit

Rightwinggit said...

Accurate forecast; look out of the fucking window.

Or use netweather.

BTS said...

Oh.

You're back.

Fortunately I have three bottles of vodka to help me deal with it.

I love having Mondays off..

Chief of men said...

they said friday it would rain saturday.didn't happen.can't even do short range.tell me again how much charlie big potatoes payrise was.

john miller said...

Hmm, reading between the lines...

We will not publish forecasts that you can remember and then prove wrong.

We will publish forecasts that we can alter after you are dead.

We will publish "forecasts" that we can change at a moment's notice to correlate with what you are experiencing at the time.

Hey, I can do that, and I'll only charge the taxpayer 0.1 £billion...

J Demetriou said...

I hate the Met office with a fucking passion.

Dick Puddlecote said...

But there's a difference between weather and climate bullshit, doncha know?

sixtypoundsaweekcleaner said...

Whatever they are on, I wish I had it.

Joe Public said...

Credit where its due.

They predict the weather correctly, it just doesn't occur in the places they say it will.

Leg-iron said...

I looked in on the local-area Met office weather website when it was snowing.

According to them, it was sunny. Don't they know weather happens outside, not just in a computer model?

Better off with a bloody pine cone on a string.

John Pickworth said...

Stupid fools, all of you!

At least Mr Puddlecote spots the problem (as well he should with a name like that).

I'm not a climate specialist, although I have sent a few dodgy emails in my time and I've watched an episode of Horizon on BBC2 so that's practically as good as a professorship innit?

Anyway...

Grey skies, rain, wind, cold and winter potholes in the roads: This what we scientists call weather. Obviously even a yokel knows this is completely unpredictable and you'd be better off throwing darts at a board than guessing what Wednesday is going to be like.

Blue skies, a decent warm sunny spell and increased ice-cream sales: These conditions are not weather, oh no, but deadly climate change. And worse, if they were to happen during your summer holidays then its pretty much solid evidence of man made climate change. Fortunately, me and other scientist like fellows down the Rose & Crown and some chaps from the Met Office can predict climate change with stunning accuracy. For example; Wednesday the 13th July 2089 will be unseasonably warm with sunshine right across the former British Isles.

While we wait to see if that prediction is correct, I suggest we massively jack up our fuel bills and squander £billions on some giant fans in the countryside.

Anonymous said...

fuck me you still alive? wasting good oxygen lazy little cunt

Pogo said...

I use an old "Tenessee" weather-predictor. 100% accurate for very short-range forecasts. It consists of a piece of string hanging outside my window:-

If it casts a shadow, it's sunny.
If no shadow, it's cloudy.
If it swings about, it's windy.
If it's still, it's calm.
And when it gets wet, it's raining.

And much more environmentally-friendly than a supercomputer.

bayard said...

The Met Office haven't got the time to predict the weather any more as they are all working on the AGW scam. What do you expect, you can't have both forecasts and the latest popular pseudo-religion...