Friday, 16 April 2010

The Mass Debate

No, not the snake oil and lies peddled by the leaders of the three factions of the LibLabCon Party, but the debate about who won.

Everyone seems to agree that Clegg "won", Cameron did OK, but not great and The Flunking Cyst was useless. There was some amazement that it wasn't entirely dull and stilted.

The LimpDumbs are unshutupable about their new-found impotence, er, importance. The Tories are furiously decrying Cleggover's shameless lies while equally furiously ignoring the utter bollocks their leader spouts. Labour is delighted that there might be someone taking Tory votes but are being very quiet about the performance of the nutter with the stutter.

But people seem to think that this facile beauty parade is all a "game-changer". In the mean time, the country is racing towards a trillion-and-a-half Pounds of debt, we're spied on in new and exciting ways ever day, our kids can't read or write and we're drowning in laws, regulations and statutory instruments which even the people who promulgate them can't keep track of. None of them are going to change this.

Our "leaders" are steaming vigorously towards the iceberg and we're deciding who's going to look best behind the wheel as we die screaming, drowning in freezing waters (well, we'll drown - they'll be on a fucking luxury lifeboat!) Adulating lunatics, blindly cheering on their rosette colour and arguing over things that, ultimately, lead us over the same cliff.

I think I'm going to start drinking now. And I don't think I'm going to stop.

Update: Blimey: the Guardian!

Clegg: The other two are just liars and we want to do things differently.

Brown: The other two are just liars and we want to carry on doing the same.

Cameron: We are going to be tough on immigration because I once met a black man who is worried about it.

Clegg: We're going to be even tougher.

Brown: What's he doing here?

Cameron: I haven't a clue.

Clegg: We will have millions more policemen because I've met someone who has been burgled.

Cameron: We'll have even more.

Brown: No, you are going to cut them.

Clegg: They sound exactly the same.

Brown: Ha, ha. I'm going to kill you later.

Cameron: I'm going to keep Trident to nuke the Chinese.

Clegg: I can save billions by taxing Lord Ashcroft.

Brown: We have to carry on spending on the NHS because I met a cancer patient who said she was only alive thanks to me.

Alastair Stewart: Well, you three look half dead. Same time next week


Dippyness. said...

Can't I vote for you? Don't see much point int the rest of 'em. :(

Mark Wadsworth said...

My personal highlight was iDave claiming that the 1% National Insurance hike would 'cost' the NHS £200 million, as if the government were not simply allowed to collect the £200 million in 'tax' and then hand it straight back to the NHS. I think he even said it twice.

What a fucking moron.

OldSlaughter said...

Where? I'll come join you.

Anonymous said...

They're being very quiet about the debt issue aren't they?

Fuck me, there are some people out there heading for a massive wake up call before the year is out I reckon.

I'm off out to bury some food in the garden.

Then I'm going out to panic buy beer.

Blind Pugh said...

If these three numpties are the best on offer as next Prime Minister, your label says it all, Obo: we are so fucked.