Fucking Jesus. I just walked out of a fucking customer meeting. It was three hours of useful stuff followed by two hours of fucking time wasting cock-waving and waffle.
I can sympathise. I've had meetings where the job is done after a half hour yet the waffle carries on for another hour or two. It gets to a point where you could stab someone who ends a long pause, which you think will be the end, with another question.
Presumably the "two hours of fucking time wasting cock-waving and waffle" came up under "any other business" and wasn't an item on the published agenda ... yes, I've been at meetings like that, whole meetings that could be summed up as "fucking time wasting cock-waving and waffle" but I was working in an environment where attendance at such meetings was mandatory - something to do with getting "Investors in People" status or something like that ...
I used to have to go to meetings like that in the Old Days. They stopped asking me when I said once (after being asked why I looked a bit distant) that the Voices had spoken to me, and told me to tear the arms off the next person who spoke and slap them about with the wet ends. Deep Joy.
Christ almighty, I hope your companies customers don't find out who you are, can't be many IT people traveling Uup North, finding cyclists on the A1. But I totally agree, on some projects I was involved in we would be meeting for 7 hours at the start of the project, with my boss talking about floor colours, let alone the fact we needed to decide what machines we needed to install costing £100Ks. I used to really have a go at the powers that be about the total waste of time with staff etc. Was made redundant in May 2009, maybe I would have kept my £50K job if I had toed the party line and just said that I thought red would be good for the floor, or cream, maybe brown! I live Uup North, near Leeds, having managed to transfer from the SHITE south (Worked in Mortlake, lived in walking distance of Kew Gardens)
You should have my kind of meetings, where you get to see a load of bored looking techies not fully understanding that what I'm trying to tell them will keep them gainfully employed in the near future.
On the bright side, I'm sure those who ignored me will be able to apply their COBOL skills to serving McFlurries...
@ Bayard It's called 'Seagull management' The manager bursts into the room, flaps about, squawks and makes lots of noise, eats all the food, shits over eveything and then sods off!
"On the bright side, I'm sure those who ignored me will be able to apply their COBOL skills to serving McFlurries..."
Well, if they COULD start employing people who wouldn't just stare in a puzzled fashion at their till until a supervisor comes over to impart the arcane knowledge of which pictogram means 'Sausage McMuffin, no egg' I'd be happy...
19 comments:
A little mifed are we then?
I can sympathise. I've had meetings where the job is done after a half hour yet the waffle carries on for another hour or two. It gets to a point where you could stab someone who ends a long pause, which you think will be the end, with another question.
In other words, a typical meeting...
Hopefully no PowerPoint, at least?
60% useful stuff? - better than most customer meetings.
Poor Obnoxio.
Lucky you, they wouldn't let me anywhere near the fucking organics. Must've thought I'd feed them Baby Bio or open a window.
Presumably the "two hours of fucking time wasting cock-waving and waffle" came up under "any other business" and wasn't an item on the published agenda ... yes, I've been at meetings like that, whole meetings that could be summed up as "fucking time wasting cock-waving and waffle" but I was working in an environment where attendance at such meetings was mandatory - something to do with getting "Investors in People" status or something like that ...
I used to have to go to meetings like that in the Old Days. They stopped asking me when I said once (after being asked why I looked a bit distant) that the Voices had spoken to me, and told me to tear the arms off the next person who spoke and slap them about with the wet ends. Deep Joy.
What happened? Did someone from senior management walk in at the three-hour mark?
Remember the customer may be a cunt be he is still the customer or some other waffle about the customer always being right... fuck em!
You should have employed a headbutt before you left. Note for next time.
Christ almighty, I hope your companies customers don't find out who you are, can't be many IT people traveling Uup North, finding cyclists on the A1.
But I totally agree, on some projects I was involved in we would be meeting for 7 hours at the start of the project, with my boss talking about floor colours, let alone the fact we needed to decide what machines we needed to install costing £100Ks. I used to really have a go at the powers that be about the total waste of time with staff etc. Was made redundant in May 2009, maybe I would have kept my £50K job if I had toed the party line and just said that I thought red would be good for the floor, or cream, maybe brown! I live Uup North, near Leeds, having managed to transfer from the SHITE south (Worked in Mortlake, lived in walking distance of Kew Gardens)
Daedalus
You should have my kind of meetings, where you get to see a load of bored looking techies not fully understanding that what I'm trying to tell them will keep them gainfully employed in the near future.
On the bright side, I'm sure those who ignored me will be able to apply their COBOL skills to serving McFlurries...
you tell it how it is m8 lol !!
Now now Obo... Calm down. Just remeber the quote from an old TV advert for an old-fashioned "gentleman's outfitters" (Dunn & Co maybe?):
"Just remember lad, the customer is always right... Even when he's patently off his trolley.". :-)
Meetings are where minutes are kept and hours lost
@ Bayard
It's called 'Seagull management' The manager bursts into the room, flaps about, squawks and makes lots of noise, eats all the food, shits over eveything and then sods off!
"It gets to a point where you could stab someone who ends a long pause, which you think will be the end, with another question."
Best bit is the wrap-up of 'Does anybody have any questions?' where you get to dream up unpleasant tortures for the idiot who actually has some...
"On the bright side, I'm sure those who ignored me will be able to apply their COBOL skills to serving McFlurries..."
Well, if they COULD start employing people who wouldn't just stare in a puzzled fashion at their till until a supervisor comes over to impart the arcane knowledge of which pictogram means 'Sausage McMuffin, no egg' I'd be happy...
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