Since it's Sunday, I suppose it's only right that I should turn my thoughts towards ecclesiastical matters.
I see that Pope Adolf is going to grace us with his infallible presence. And I see that it's going to cost us £20 million for the privilege. Now, I am fully aware that he is theoretically the head of a country, and we have certain obligations to foreign dignitaries. You can't just grab a couple of packets of Tesco Value crisps and some indifferent cheddar.
But after hearing that the last G20 cost north of a billion US, I'm getting a bit fucking sick of these cunts swanning around on our dime. If we're all feeling the pain equally, Dave, perhaps you can cut down a little on the twiglets and Ferrero Rocher? I mean, dropping a mill in a week is pretty fucking generous, 20 mill sounds ... how can I put this? Like you're taking the fucking piss?
You're supposed to be a fucking Tory, Dave. That means more than wearing a fucking blue tie to the office. You're supposed to represent careful husbandry of taxpayer resources.
So stop fucking pissing our money away on shit like this. You're not Gordon Brown, you know.