I'm sure none of you will be surprised that I've been nominated by "progressives" as one of the 100 worst blogs in their mirror image of Mrs Dale's effort.
Since I know you all think I'm cunt, please feel free to wander over here and tell them all what a cunt I am.
You do have to nominate at least 3 blogs (and rank them.)
Have fun!
97 comments:
I see Mr Hoffman-Gill is a somewhat pompous irony and humour free zone.
Your obviously shit at being a cunt if you don't win that.
There's no way you will win this. You just aren't vile enough.
Now Gordon Brown, however...
Why doesn't he have his own blog?
On the contrary Longrider, you have no idea what irony or humour is.
Don't let your sycophancy and boyish enthusiasm for swearing cloud your judgement.
Nah, I think you're a pretty humourless twonk.
Still, I supposed being a failed actor will do that to you.
Well, I make a living from being funny thanks so just because you feel it, doesn't mean it's true clown.
And is failed actor the best you've got (and at utter odds with the truth)? Good job you don't have to make a living from your writing or from being funny, you'd be an awful failure.
Keep up your amateur work, leave the paid stuff to the rest of it to us professionals.
"Well, I make a living from being funny"
Ah! A poor failed actor then.
Again amateur, as hard as you may find it to grasp, for whatever pathetic reason, the reality is I make an excellent living from being an actor.
Your silly and desperate aspersions are at odds with the truth, which is fine but you do know you're looking awfully envious and clumsy?
Is this all you've got?
Well, I reckon Longrider is definitely right on the "pompous" bit. And to be fair, I'm not seeing any signs of irony or humour in your ripostes, so I guess us amateurs may just be right this one time.
Amateur Clown (if you want to actually learn how to be a proper clown, I do offer clowning workshops and would also recommend the occasional workshops offered by Complicite and Told By An Idiot...just a thought):
Pomposity is all in the eye of the beholder, thankfully the opinion of Longrider and yourself is of scant consequence but thanks for sharing it anyway.
I extend the same thought to your musings on the levels of irony and humour in my ripostes, I think you'll find that a lot of comedy is all about sides, just as you find your sycophants attacks highly accurate and amusing, the same cannot be said when the attacks are carried out on you. Not much of a surprise there.
I can see you're quite desperate to be right. Well rejoice! For in your own mind, you will always be so, as for the wider world, well, who cares about that? Leave that to me.
Yep, you've definitely got the pomposity thing sewn up.
You need to work on your condescension, though. You haven't quite got that nailed.
"I think you'll find that a lot of comedy is all about sides"
Really? And here's me thinking it's all about timing.
I don't particularly care which side someone is on, funny is funny.
On your performance to date, I'd have to say that you're incapable of being funny, so I hope there's a huge market for pompous windbags.
I wouldn't want you to starve.
As I've said, you are entitled to your opinion, just never confuse it with fact and also, don't overestimate its value to others not in awe of your...er...ability.
"Really? And here's me thinking it's all about timing."
And would you know? Ever performed for a paying audience? Ever written comedy? Ever been paid for your comedy work? You see amateur, until you can say yes to all those things, I as can, you're really out of your depth. Best just swear a bit and go back to what you know best.
And do stop making me repeat myself clown, your opinion of me being funny or not, is just that and one not reflected in the industry in which I work, in which (this is labouring the point but your hands over the ears vitriol is deserving of such a tone) I make a wonderful living.
I know this fact is hard for your bruised ego to grasp but do try and keep up boy, you're slipping so far behind with your feeble efforts that I've lapped you a few times too many.
I thought you were a wit?
All you can muster is playground efforts utterly at odds with reality.
How disappointing you are.
"All you can muster is playground efforts utterly at odds with reality."
Ipse dixit.
You confuse using latin with being right, again, it may win you arguments in the awful places you frequent but not with a decent human.
Must try harder clown.
Your bitterness is leaking out of you, poor sad sack.
Yep, that's the irony-free zone confirmed as well.
Plus, despite the claims of making a good living out of being funny, I'm not seeing any signs of it here, so I guess my "sycophantic" commenter was three out of three.
I've really given you plenty of opportunities to come up with a bon mot, but all you can manage is limp amateur trolling.
If you're really that good at being funny, why am I completely unamused by your efforts?
Surely it's not beyond the wit of a legend such as yourself to put me down and be funny at the same time? You know, like professional comedians do with hecklers?
No, sir, I'm afraid you really are just a pompous, uptight, humourless lefty.
Even Conor Pope is funnier than you.
You just keep saying those opinions of yours each time, hoping, foolishly, they'll become concrete facts.
Just to be clear, they're not, nor will they ever be.
"Plus, despite the claims of making a good living out of being funny, I'm not seeing any signs of it here"
This is an odd line, even for a clown like you, just because you don't find me funny doesn't mean that goes for everyone. Can you grasp that?
Or is that beyond you?
Do you get it yet?
Or are so puffed up with sycophancy that you believe your opinion holds greater sway than anyone else's?
Good grief, pull yourself together man, you're all at sea here.
And, to repeat again, as I make a living from being funny (seriously, do I have to link to my CV? Or bank statements?) that makes your opinion one not reflected in the industry in which I work.
Do you understand now?
Or do I have to keep making you look stupid as you bluster along?
Actually, I'm usually pretty easily pleased when it comes to finding things funny. Anything from a knob joke to surrealism will make me laugh.
The fact that you haven't even managed to raise a wry smile is definitely something that should worry someone who makes a living out of being funny.
On the other hand, there are plenty of professionally-written shows on TV that aren't funny either, so the fact that you might be writing one or more of them might explain how you're making a good living writing "comedy" while not being remotely funny, all at the same time.
On the other hand, some people are funny in that they actually make others laugh. I'm more looking for that kind of funny, as opposed to the "make-money-writing-shit-that-should-never-have-been-commissioned" kind of funny.
But your curious defensiveness about how much money you make out of writing comedy (as opposed to actually being funny) makes me wonder if you're not already at least subliminally aware of this.
As to being "puffed up with sycophancy", I think you're confusing me with Mrs Dale. If you look at the "High Praise Indeed" corner of my blog, you'll see that I don't have a lot of time for people blowing smoke up my arse. (And I do recommend you look it up. You'll see why.)
"Or do I have to keep making you look stupid as you bluster along?"
Your opinion as to how this discussion is progressing is no more of a fact than mine. I'm curious that such a basic matter has passed you by.
You keep claiming that you are funny because people pay you for it. I'm claiming that if you were funny, you'd make people laugh.
Since you haven't even raised a smile from me, the amount of money someone is allegedly paying you for your wit seems to be rather irrelevant to whether you're actually funny or not. It just means that you were rather smarter than they were when it came to negotiating the contract.
Does this help to clarify my position?
While waiting for your next blundering missive I thought of how I could put it clearly to you, so that you hopefully understand what I'm saying and this could come to an end.
So here we go, hope this helps you...
The fact you don't find me funny but that I make a living from being funny and making thousands of people laugh clearly upsets you but that doesn't stop it from being a fact.
This is further illustrated by the bizarre indulgence you give yourself, that if it doesn't make you laugh, then it can't really be funny.
I mean, aside from that being delusional, self-aggrandising and by awarding yourself perceptive powers of cultural zeitgeist that clearly are far beyond your limited capabilities; makes you look bordering on the mentally ill.
With all seriousness, you may consider yourself a marker of taste but sadly, you're not, all you have is your opinion, no more, no less.
Hence, you finding me not funny is, sad to say for your monstrous ego, not at all worrying.
To be clear, what you perceive as defensiveness is actually a reflection of you making things up so I have to re-stress my credentials and labour the point of my ability as a comedy writer and performer.
And to be clear on this, I measure funniness not on money but on the fact that I make a living making people laugh, with either my writing or my performing. That's making people laugh. Professionally.
The difference is between you and I, is that I am so good at it, I turned it into a job.
That must upset you but again, it doesn't stop it being reality.
When you've been in front of a sold out crowd of 500 people in a theatre and made them laugh you'll understand. But that won't happen will it?
So in summary then, until you learn that your opinion is just that and stop making yourself out to be some arbiter of comedy, then I'll keep making you look like an envious fool who can't hack the fact that his opinion is not matched by reality.
You are entitled to it clown but never believe it to be some sort of universal fact.
Oh and if you must put my name on your blog, do try and spell it correctly clown: Hoffmann, rather than Hoffman.
Kind Regards!
On the contrary Longrider, you have no idea what irony or humour is.
Really? If this is your considered opinion, then it's not one I should take seriously (and I don't).
You then spend a whole series of comments proving me correct and putting the pompous into pompous prig. I see from your profile that you are a luvvie, which explains it.
thankfully the opinion of Longrider and yourself is of scant consequence but thanks for sharing it anyway.
You do have an inflated opinion of your own importance, don't you? Your opinion is of no importance whatsoever - see the luvvie comment.
Pompous, self-important, unamusing and a massive twat to boot. Still, keep digging, that at least has some amusement value.
Hello Longrider.
And there is the nub of it, I can have my opinion of you as someone who said something petty based on scant evidence in order to score points with their blog pal. You will, of course, deny that.
Great. Tedium ensues.
There is nothing definitive there to argue about.
It is arguing over thin air.
Of course I have no idea whether you can grasp concepts of irony or humour, I don't know you and you don't know me, neither do I care to get to know you.
So our pointless opinions of each other can stand, we can challenge them but nothing changes the fact they are opinions.
Nothing more, nothing less.
But until you get that, you're going to struggle.
...makes you look bordering on the mentally ill.
Ah, yes, the standard trick used by the self-righteous. The "you are mentally ill" canard.
And there is the nub of it, I can have my opinion of you as someone who said something petty based on scant evidence in order to score points with their blog pal.
My comment was an observation of fact. Your attacks were observably pompous. However, again, based upon your subsequent comments, you appear far too self-absorbed to see that. Others will, of course.
Longrider:
Re: the use of the term mentally ill, (also, where do you get this righteous thing from? Seriously, using terms like that only worsen your prospects) I made it in relation of the amateur clown's po-faced assertion that he has some sort of definitive comedic taste that can used as a universal marker of whether someone is funny or not.
Hopefully even a sycophant like you can see this is overreach by the clown.
So clearly this is utter madness, I was being kind by using this term but I hold a torch of hope that this was the clown's famous use of irony or sarcasm or something else.
Because if it's not, it's an awfully embarrassing outburst.
Longrider:
Dear me, have you not been keeping up? What is it with folk round these parts, has all that heady libertarianism gone to your heads?
These facts you speak of are no such facts at all, they are your opinions of me, there is no definitive fact on the matter and your assertion that you have some sort of ownership of these facts only makes you look worse.
Now, pull yourself together and move on.
It's always a good idea when in a hole, to switch off the JCB. Every accusation of sycophancy, every self-righteous proclamation, every pompous, patronising claim to be a professional merely serves to make my point for me.
...also, where do you get this righteous thing from?
Your comments are self-righteous. So I got it from you.
Humour is a matter of taste, of course. However, for someone who persists in telling us that he is funny, you have yet to manage it. The clown was merely making an accurate observation on that score. The use of the term mentally ill, far from being "kind" is pretty desperate.
These facts you speak of are no such facts at all,
Your comments are an observable fact. Anyone who can read, may read them. They are also observably pompous.
You're struggling here, the analogies you use are laboured and exist only in your fevered imagination.
Which is fine, it is the bleed into reality that is the problem.
Here is an example:
"Your comments are self-righteous. So I got it from you."
This is fine, your opinion but you keep overreaching and taking it to be some form of fact.
Now onto the idea that I persist in telling people I am funny, even a sycophant like you (nice ducking on the clown's overreach by the way) can see that was purely in reaction to the attacks of the amateur.
And I refer you again to the fact that it is my job.
So again, you're wrong.
Now do stop this very moving show of defence for the clown, it's as pointless as it is vacuous.
And I refer you again to the fact that it is my job.
And? So? Why are we supposed to care? Again, such pomposity. Again, observable to all but yourself. Again, you make my point for me. Clearly not found that "off" switch yet, then?
Longrider:
Supposed to care?
No.
But I provide evidence, rather than hyperbole and opinion.
I know this must upset you.
All you need to do is accept your opinion is just an opinion and not some sort of eternal truth and I'll leave you to your play-pen.
"And to be clear on this, I measure funniness not on money but on the fact that I make a living making people laugh, with either my writing or my performing. That's making people laugh. Professionally."
You make them laugh professionally?
"The difference is between you and I, is that I am so good at it, I turned it into a job."
I already have a job. I write for my own pleasure, and if it brings pleasure to others, well, that's a bonus.
But I'm still struggling with the fact that you claim to have made people laugh. How?
Do you do an accurate pastiche of a self-righteous, smug twat, perhaps?
"But I provide evidence, rather than hyperbole and opinion."
Where?
I know this must upset you.
Why should it upset me? You can provide whatever evidence you please. I really don't care - you really aren't that important, even if you are a legend in your own mind. Being paid for something is not the same thing as being competent.
Again, yet again, you manage to make my point for me.
Still your trolling has provided some mild amusement on a Sunday afternoon so perhaps you are a little funny after all - even if it is for the wrong reason.
"Now do stop this very moving show of defence for the clown, it's as pointless as it is vacuous."
Where is he defending me (apart from in your mind)?
The fact that he has a similar opinion to me doesn't mean that he's defending me. I can hardly see how I'd need defending from your dead sheep "intellectual savaging" anyway.
"Oh and if you must put my name on your blog, do try and spell it correctly clown: Hoffmann, rather than Hoffman."
Is that better?
Hello clown!
I think you seem to have got it at last, with regards to the difference between your opinion and fact.
With regards to your question of how (and also your silly query about where is the evidence, I mean we've been over this endlessly), the answer is in numerous sold out UK tours of comedy shows, a comedy character of mine being on the BBC and numerous appearances in adverts being funny. Aside from the writing I've done and not appeared in.
And don't piss and moan child when your attacks mean the person you're attacking stands up to you. You whimper that I'm crowing but it is in response to your attacks.
With regards to your comrade, you ask where is he defending you. Seriously, if you can't see it or refuse to, whatever I point out you will merely deny.
And I love how you're both blustering on about how awful I am yet cannot help but have to keep engaging.
If it was as bad as all that you'd not bother would you?
You're see-through clown.
Longrider:
You are upset. Or does it annoy you that my opinion of your state doesn't match with what you feel the truth is?
Your upset is clear in your desperation, I mean, seriously, money doesn't mean you're good at it?
Right, so people paying me to be an actor must mean I'm not any good at it? Right? Right?
Awful.
And it's odd that on one hand you dismiss the need for evidence and then carry on attacking me in the deep figments of your mind with your own made-up evidence.
And by odd I mean stupid.
Nice to see you play the trolling card also. You must be used to calling people names and getting away with it? Not with me.
So are we done yet?
All you need to do the pair of you is accept that all you have is opinions and not some precious ownership of truth.
Can you manage it I wonder?
You are upset.
This is known as projection, I believe. It takes rather more than a self-righteous luvvie wittering on the interweb to upset me. You overrate your own importance. So, no, I'm not upset. There's nothing to get upset about.
Right, so people paying me to be an actor must mean I'm not any good at it? Right? Right?
This is what is known as a strawman. I didn't say that, did I? I presume you can read - I mean, you have to learn all those horribly tricky lines somehow. Still, I'll make it a little clearer for you so that you can follow such a subtle concept; just because you are paid to do something it is not a guarantee that your are good at it. "Professional" and "competence" are not the same thing.
...with your own made-up evidence.
I haven't made up any evidence, merely observed your comments. By any rational observation, they ooze pompous, smug, arrogant self-righteousness of a degree I've not encountered elsewhere. You are one of a kind.
Nice to see you play the trolling card also. You must be used to calling people names and getting away with it? Not with me.
Oooh! Scary...
You are trolling. Observable fact.
Longrider:
No, it's not a projection, you're upset.
As for my own importance, you're struggling to keep my influence over you under check.
"just because you are paid to do something it is not a guarantee that your are good at it."
Agreed but I am otherwise I wouldn't have been able to make a 13 year career out of it would I?
Surely, even someone as desperate to not be wrong as you can grasp that? You duck and dive and try and cling to your futile points, when are you just going to accept you're wrong? I am a professional actor, if I was at all bad at it I would've failed by now considering how long I've been at it.
Agreed?
The quicker you do it the sooner this will be over for you.
You confuse your observations with fact, they aren't they are opinion.
Your opinion of me matters little, your assumption that you hold the torch of truth does.
I've said this far too many times so all I can guess it you're too loath to concede even this truism and will battle on.
So be it.
"You are trolling. Observable fact."
I'm glad you put that in, just helps confirm that you're as desperate and deluded as I had feared.
As I said, you felt you could attack me without rebuke, you were wrong. Now take it like a man, your pathetic displays are only making it worse.
No, it's not a projection, you're upset.
Nope. Sorry. Not even close. Nor am I desperate. I've been idly amusing myself during a few moments when I had nothing better to do; that is the sum total of your value to me. Nor have I claimed to own the truth. All projections on your part.
As I said, you felt you could attack me without rebuke, you were wrong.
For someone who started all this with an unprovoked attack over at the sociologist blog, that's pretty rich. You rebuke me? Deary me. Get a perspective. You ain't qualified or sufficiently empowered to do any such thing. Rebuke, indeed. Now, that is funny.
You really are a pompous arsehole, aren't you? Are all actors such self-important jerks? Not that I expect you to agree, but anyone observing this conversation will be able to see it for what it is.
LR:
No, it's not a projection, you're upset.
You can keep saying nope but that doesn't change my opinion.
Do you see yet?
This really is ridiculous and pointless.
"For someone who started all this with an unprovoked attack over at the sociologist blog, that's pretty rich."
Woah there slick, you can't have your cake and eat it, on one hand we have the clown and others saying that the poll is a bit of fun, irony and sarcasm abound and yet on the other hand, my suggesting the clown for the poll is an attack?
An attack by the way that you feel you have to step in on, like some protective husband.
I'm sorry but that is nonsense. Which is it?
And here, for the record is the terrible attack...
"Fair enough though, just move them all up one and put at number 10 Obnoxio the Clown."
Ouch, that's gotta hurt! I mean, wow, these swear bloggers are such sensitive flowers who can throw around all their horseshit but can't take being nominated for a poll.
Weak.
(Strangely it did, with the clown wondering how he'd managed to piss on my chips)
So to repeat, you then had a pop at me after my "attack".
Hence, I pop back and you can't take it. You thought you could run your little mouth of here and get away with it.
Sorry wee man, no chance of that.
And like many dolts, you call upon an imagined audience who witness this tedium and naturally, agree with you. Quelle surprise!
Get a hold of yourself.
This really is ridiculous and pointless.
Yet here you are, still.
As are you. Your argument is weak.
Having said that I'm off out now so if you feel the need to come back here and be wrong some more, I'll be waiting for you tomorrow.
xxxx
Nope. There's only so much self-important pomposity that I can swallow.
Time and again you've proved my point for me. Well done.
Oh before I go, I was well impressed with your rebuttals of my points in the comment I made at 18 Jul 2010 18:20:00.
Great come backs there, really, no really...seriously, just...well...you know.
i shall miss you terribly as you bottle it, just glad you've learnt your lesson about calling people.
I have learned nothing from you. You aren't qualified. Bye now, do take care.
"With regards to your comrade, you ask where is he defending you. Seriously, if you can't see it or refuse to, whatever I point out you will merely deny."
Comrade? Comrade?
Jesus.
Anyway, the reason you can't point it out is because there isn't any.
Your refusal to "engage" is merely because you know it's not true.
"And I love how you're both blustering on about how awful I am yet cannot help but have to keep engaging."
I'm sorry, but how does the fact that I think you're not funny constitute some sort of engagement about how entertaining you are? You say you're funny because people pay you. I say you're not funny because you don't make me laugh. You keep saying you're funny because people pay you, I keep saying that you're not funny because you don't make me laugh.
On what planet does this level of "engagement" validate how funny you are?
"And don't piss and moan child when your attacks mean the person you're attacking stands up to you."
Really? Stands up by demonstrating his flaccid "wit"? Yeah, I'm really intimidated.
"You whimper that I'm crowing but it is in response to your attacks."
What??????????????? Where did I say you were crowing? What the fuck are you on?
Morning all!
Wow Longrider, for someone not coming back for more you keep...well...coming back for more. Says a lot about how upset you are with me.
You have to make your mind up one way of the other, you're just looking addicted to this exchange and clearly hoping that having the last word will cover the fact I took you to pieces and you've stopped arguing your points.
Mr Clown:
Yes. Comrade. A fine little word.
I made it clear clown that any effort by me to highlight this tag-team artifice would merely lead to more vigorous rejections by you of this artifice.
Naturally we are in conflict, it has reached a stage that even when I present a truth (for example, that my attack on you consisted of merely voting for you in a poll), it cannot be agreed on by the pair of you because they would be seen as 'defeat'.
This also applies to the idea of you finding me funny, I mean seriously, it would take someone of greater moral fibre than you to concede that you found someone funny in the midst of having a pointless slagging match with them.
You also are not keeping up clown, when I referred to your attacks on me, they have not just been with regards to being funny, hence my amusement at your need to keep engaging with me here. As I said, if I am that awful, I'd not be worth your time but on the contrary, you and your comrade are obsessed with me.
I am glad to see you retreat from your self-appointed role of comedy arbiter, this tedium has never been about your opinion, which you are entitled to, it has been about your failure to grasp fact.
Your first attack on me was this...
"Nah, I think you're a pretty humourless twonk..."
This is your opinion, which is fine.
"Still, I supposed being a failed actor will do that to you.
This is a lie, or more accurately a wishful opinion not being correct in reality.
It's that simple.
So if you've rightly retreated to just opining about me, then I'll leave you to it. It is your confusion with opinion and fact that has led to my continued presence here.
"Yeah, I'm really intimidated."
I know you are because you're not merely walking away here, although you have gradually retreated to acceptable positions, realising your terrible overreach was fuelled by your anger at me.
I hope this will be done soon but I'll not stop coming back here until I am satisfied you and the other cretin have learnt your lesson.
We are getting close, he's run out of stuff to say and you're going back to a reasonable position.
"Yes. Comrade. A fine little word."
It may be fine for communitarians, but libertarians don't tend to think of themselves as comrades.
"I made it clear clown that any effort by me to highlight this tag-team artifice would merely lead to more vigorous rejections by you of this artifice."
Your bland assertion does not, however, convince me. Longrider is not a frequent commenter on this blog, nor am I on his. We have in the distant past agreed on some matters and disagreed on others. I have never knowingly met him. I therefore cannot conceive of any possible reason why he should be defending me.
I can, however, imagine a case whereby he feels that you are someone with whom he can disagree with, quite independently of me.
So either provide me with a reasonable case to justify this curious idea, or I think any right-minded and sensible person would agree that you will not do so because you cannot.
"Naturally we are in conflict, it has reached a stage that even when I present a truth (for example, that my attack on you consisted of merely voting for you in a poll)"
Well, to be honest, I couldn't tell from your vote for me whether it might be a joke or not. However, since I have subsequently discovered that you are completely humourless, I realise that it was in earnest.
As "attacks" go, it's hardly the stuff of legend, is it? Imagine, a dour, pompous, humourless lefty finds me unfunny. However will I cope?
In fact, it would have been far more insulting to have been ignored altogether, so if I was to feel anything for your "attack", it would probably be a vague sense of gratitude and also a sense of accomplishment for having pissed you off enough to vote for me.
So your "attack" has nothing to do with anything.
(cont below)
(cont)
"This also applies to the idea of you finding me funny, I mean seriously, it would take someone of greater moral fibre than you to concede that you found someone funny in the midst of having a pointless slagging match with them."
You're wrong. There is no reason why you should know this (unless you are really a closet avid fan) but I have a long history of praising people who I am in the middle of much more heated disagreements when they say something I believe is laudable, or being amused by something they say which is funny.
You can, for instance, ask Old Holborn, a man I've had several, much more aggressive, substantial and much longer-running disagreements with.
"You also are not keeping up clown, when I referred to your attacks on me, they have not just been with regards to being funny, hence my amusement at your need to keep engaging with me here."
Oh. Well, you know, with this blogging thing, it's considered good form to reply to your commenters.
"As I said, if I am that awful, I'd not be worth your time but on the contrary, you and your comrade are obsessed with me."
Obsessed? If I might borrow from something I once read somewhere else: "Oh dear, I think you're rather over-egging your part wee man, but by all means pump it up into something it's not so you have something to cling to in your wild fantasies but it is far more humdrum than that."
I can't quite remember where I read it or who wrote it, but he clearly had your measure.
"This is a lie, or more accurately a wishful opinion not being correct in reality."
Well, it may be all of those things, or it may have been a joke. But I suppose a humourless person such as yourself would never recognise it as such.
The actuality (or not) of my comment was never something I would be able to prove or disprove.
But your response was most enlightening. Rather than laughing it off, you continued to pompously declaim my wrongness. That tells me that you're not quite as comfortable with your living as you claim to be.
Having said all that, it's insufferably tedious to analyse and dissect a throwaway line which could have attracted a witty riposte from someone who really was funny.
"I know you are because you're not merely walking away here, although you have gradually retreated to acceptable positions, realising your terrible overreach was fuelled by your anger at me."
Anger???? You really have got entirely the wrong end of the stick here. As I said above, you have aroused no anger, only a mild sense of pleasure and accomplishment. If I wasn't such a cunt, I'd be thanking you, not trolling you.
"I hope this will be done soon but I'll not stop coming back here until I am satisfied you and the other cretin have learnt your lesson."
And what lesson would that be? I've already learned the lesson that you're not Oscar Wilde.
"We are getting close, he's run out of stuff to say and you're going back to a reasonable position."
So you claim. But your wishing it were so doesn't make it so.
I can keep this up forever, you know. I learned my art from the very best.
I'm not reading all of that drivel.
Especially as this is an argument about opinion, not fact.
Interesting phenomena though, the comments grows exponentially in length as this nonsense goes on.
That's remarkably discourteous, Daniel, since I had to read all of yours!
And I expended the effort to rebut all your comments, too. Does that mean you concede defeat?
No, you have't read mine, otherwise you'd realise your excessive argumentative verbosity is as pointless as it is awful.
Also, your life is no doubt in need of this debate as it is a breakaway from your humdrum existence and family life but some of us do have outlets for our creativity. A point by point rebuttal of your empty comments is an exercise in futility and waste.
An example would be arguing about the use of the word comrades.
With regards to conceding defeat?
Are you kidding me?
Well, if you're not going to comment on the substantive points I made, I (and any other reasonable observer) will be forced to conclude that you've realised you've lost and you're now trying to bluster your way out of it.
"Bluster". A lovely word. I should use it more. Possibly along with "chicken" and "cowardy custard".
Your points weren't substantive. They were head in the sand desperation from an amateur. If I rebutted them you'd merely come back with a longer list of tedium.
A waste of my time.
This is your little patch of the Interwebs, it makes you feel no doubt whole as a human, enabling you to take out some of your frustrations with your own life and existence and to fool yourself into ideas of creativity and self-worth. And, of course, power.
This may impress your family, friends and other weak-minded fools but not me I'm afraid.
And if calling someone chicken is the best you've got, you really aren't up to much are you?
I mean, get better clown or die trying.
"Your points weren't substantive. They were head in the sand desperation from an amateur. If I rebutted them you'd merely come back with a longer list of tedium."
Sure. So you're chickening out then? Nothing useful to say? Can't argue with that, can you?
"A waste of my time."
Bluster.
Puck. Puck. PuckUUUUUCK!
You're no Oberon, trust me.
"Chicken" it must be then. I take the time to rebut or comment on all your waffle and you simply claim it's "not substantive" and you're "not wasting any more of your time" on this.
So while you try to scuttle away with your dignity intact, I will be content to watch your cowardly retreat while uttering the cry of victors everywhere: "Puck. Puck. PuckUUUUUCK!"
I've already explained to you clown that calling someone chicken doesn't cut it, esp. when point by point rebuttals on issues of opinion are tedious, time consuming and with regards to your intransigence, utterly pointless.
Surely even you can grasp that?
The only intransigence on display is your cowardly refusal to even offer a defence.
Still, at least you know when you're beaten.
Puck ... puck ... puckUUUUCK!!!
You like to roar don't you? It must make you feel all manly. But as your mum used to say, stop showing off in front of your imaginary friends.
And as the spittle gathers around the corners of your mouth you look less like a lion and more like an decrepit old crone slowly dying in a car home.
I've already outlined my position numerous times, repetition is clearly your thing, your blog is a prime example of that but not mine.
Go on, roar again tied old man, feel the life return back to your withered limbs.
You should be paying me for this service.
What imaginary friends? There's only you and me here.
You still haven't quite got the condescension down pat. Perhaps because you're a bit of a coward...
Puck ... puck ... puckUUUUUCK!!!
Your imaginary friends.
ROAR!
For you old man.
And this is especially for you so we've all your learning difficulties bases covered and those of your readership.
Actually, this might be more up your street with regards to your age, what a beautiful song.
Misdirection and straw men.
Puck ... puck ... puckUUUUCK!!!
The old lion dies, clawing his way up a hill. Poor you.
And here you again again, yelping away, out of your wee mind.
ROAR!
Speaking of really awful Oberons, I've found someone for you to emulate, they do less bawling then you and wear shades. You should give this a go, King of the Fairies and also do it in German please.
Cheers!
Another Oberon for you to emulate, you are unconvincing at the mo but this young lady could guide you.
Good luck with that!
I found your puck.
No need to thank me.
x
You remind me of Tony Blair: misdirection, misdirection, misdirection.
Plus, he turned out to be a complete coward as well!
Puck ... puck ... puckUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!
You remind me of this.
Oh and here's your puck.
And for someone hiding behind an identity throwing swear words round the Internet, i think coward is more fitting for you I think.
I mean, you daren't even put your real name and identity to your screeds. Big chicken. Little coward man.
ROAR LION ROAR!
Hey, I saw this and thought of you!
Who I am is irrelevant, as is who you are.
You were presented with a coherent set of statements leading to a logical conclusion and, instead of commenting on them or refuting them (because you cannot), you instead choose to bluster and misdirect and offer up all sorts of irrelevant links in the vain hope of distracting me from the demonstrable fact that your own arguments are weak and that you completely lack any innate talent for being funny.
Oh, and puck ... puck ... puckUUUUUCK!!!
"Who I am is irrelevant"
Heh, the classic hiding spot of the Internet coward. Come on, put your real name to it, I DARE YOU!
Yeah dare you, just like calling someone chicken!
YEAH!
This childish stuff is brilliant fun!
Here's your puck old man. ENJOY!
Come on I dared you.
Come on chicken!
Chicken boy!
Show yourself! Reveal yourself coward!
Have the guts to put your face and name to your words.
The dare is on...
My name is Pete Harrison.
Now what?
Puck ... puck ... puckUUUUUCK!!!
YAY! Pete Harrison. Hello Pete Harrison. (by the way, disclosing your name is a long way off from transparent blogging but it is a start)
Well Pete, hiding behind a fake identity online no doubt enables you a great deal of freedom but it comes with responsibility, no?
Otherwise you're just another hack running his mouth off whilst hiding behind anonymity, I mean, any fool can do that can't they?
I'm sure Pete Harrison understands that tedious web based arguments about, well, nothing are a waste of any grown-ups time?
Agreed?
Nearly forgot:
Here's your puck old man. ENJOY!
More misdirection. More straw men. More links. More avoidance of the actual argument.
Not much I add to this discussion, apart from: puck ... puck ... puckUUUCK!!
Yellow-bellied, lily-livered cowardy custard chicken!
Pete Harrison is Obnoxio the Clown!
Trouble is Pete Harrison is a coward who likes running his mouth off like a little boy.
Poor sod.
Here's your puck old man. ENJOY!
Poor clown.
Ouch, that's gotta hurt. Get well soon!
Pete Harrison is Obnoxio the Clown!
Come on then, coward. You challenged me to get my name and now you're not satisfied, thus proving my assertion that it was irrelevant.
It's just more misdirection from a coward who can't hold his own in a reasoned argument.
Why on earth do I have to indulge in "transparent blogging" because you want me to anyway? You blog under your own name because you're desperate for your name to be seen. I labour under no such needs.
You really are a chickenshit little fraidy-cat, aren't you?
Puck ... puck ... puckUUUUCK!!!
Of course I'm not satisfied, you're a big chicken hiding behind a fake identity in order for you to run your mouth off, like the coward you are.
You've had plenty of chance to put an end to this but you're a puerile individual, to be expected I suppose.
I tell you what, drop me an email with whatever your problem with me is, I mean really, as you don't even know me but still, if it means that much to you, drop us a line, my email is accessible via my blogger profile.
Take it personal rather than performative on this here blog.
If you really feel that strongly about it that is.
And here's your puck old man. ENJOY!
I don't have a problem with you.
If you'd actually taken the time to read my comment, you'd have seen that I'm just trolling you for the hell of it.
But since you're clearly dumb as well as chickenshit, I guess I'd better spell it out again.
"I don't have a problem with you."
Well, well, well. Pete Harrison of Obnoxio the Clown fame doesn't have a problem with me?
Thus, all of your blather has been pointless, yes?
"I'm just trolling you for the hell of it.
Right. Sure.
Well that really is just wonderful isn't it?
At least your pointlessness is up here in black and white.
"At least your pointlessness is up here in black and white."
I'm confused. As far as I'm concerned, my entire blog is an exercise in pointlessness and futility. I write for myself. I don't think that it's ever going to change the world or some other thing.
The very best thing that I can ever hope to achieve is to change someone's mind about some trivial thing.
It's no different from anybody else's blog in that regard.
So yes, there are about 3500 pointless posts and many more pointless comments here, some made by me, some made by others.
It's all pointless.
What's YOUR point?
I think Pete you confuse idiocy with someone who finds your attitude and approach utterly alien to them and fundamentally at odds with their own values.
That is not a matter of intelligence, it is a personal matter and as pointless to argue about as opinions.
We are very different people with very different outlooks. That's my point.
You have my word I'm done here, never to return, I'll leave the last word to you.
Good Lord! I disappear for a day, and Mr pretentious-humourless-double-barrelled twit is still here trolling.
Still, he's keeping you amused, I see. All the while making the original point over and over and over and over. The evidence of his pompousness is positively overflowing, so bountiful is the gift that keeps giving.
BTW, what was that lesson supposed to be? Nope, must have missed that one.
And who is Mr pretentious-humourless-double-barrelled twit anyway? He's such a fine ack-toor that I'd never heard of the bugger. Yup that good. I had to look him up on t'interweb. Seems he's had a few bit parts that no one notices anyway and some advert stuff. So no wonder I've not heard of him, he's been wanking himself into a lather over nothing much, it seems. I time shift to avoid pompous ham ack-toor fuckwits trying to sell me stuff I don't want, so I've managed to avoid his efforts on the idiot box. Ain't modern technology wonderful?
Still, that's my last word on the matter. It's run its course this one and Mr pretentious-humourless-double-barrelled twit just isn't funny enough to be bothered with any more. Not that he was funny in the first place. Which was where we came in, wasn't it?
Bah, I hate it when I come late to a party and all the other guests have eaten the best food...
"And who is Mr pretentious-humourless-double-barrelled twit anyway?"
You pretty much got it in a nutshell.. ;)
The only sensible thing said by Hoffmann-Gill in the entire thread:
"I'm done here"
Yes, stick a fork in you, you really are!
Sorry about that, better luck next time, eh?
I did like this:
We are very different people with very different outlooks. That's my point.
Given that Mr Hoffmann-Gill has displayed pompousness, arrogance, conceit, condescension, egotism, self-righteousness, self-aggrandisement, bombast, boastfulness and on the subject of amateurs, ignorance, I would hope no reasonable person shares his "values".
I read that the pop-star Adam Ant has recently been sectioned again, and I listened to all his old hit songs and I realised they all had one thing in common: they were all about how great he (or his band) were. Think about it: "Kings of the Wild Frontier" is all about how great Adam & The Ants are. "Ant Music" = as per above. "Stand & Deliver" - "I'm the dandy highwayman", etc. All about him, him, him. "Prince Charming" "Goody Two Shoes", it goes on and on - all about HIM. Never once a song celebrating how great someone else is (a lover, for example). All "me, me, me". Is it any wonder that poor Mr Goddard can't hack it in 2010, demoted to the B-list? I feel for him, don't get me wrong, but this seems to be a mental disease which can affect people who experience a bit of fame and fortune. What I'm trying to say is, Dustin Hoffmann here seems to be similarly afflicted by the same condition, from what I've read on here.
I watched his Volvo ad, and he's certainly a good actor, there's no denying that. I'm sure he's funny as a stand-up comedian too, but he needs to just calm down and stop mouthing off as if the whole world revolves around him. There's nothing more annoying. Great actor or refuse collector, Hoffmann, who the fuck cares, you're just another person like any of us at the end of the day, so please drop these embarrasing illusions of grandeur.
And, Obo, I hope you made up that name "Pete Harrison", I mean why the hell should you be forced to reveal your real name on here? I don't need to know it and if you don't want to say it, that's fine with me. Please tell me you made it up.
Thank God it's not as hot tonight as it was yesterday, or I might really have blown my top.
"Please tell me you made it up."
OK, I made it up. :o)
Post a Comment