Saturday, 4 December 2010

Dear road users...

Today I have seen the following:

A cunt shoving across three lanes in a roundabout and then hooting at me because I wouldn't give way to him in the slipway merge. a) I was at the merge point first and b) your lane merges into mine, not the other way around.

A cunt who wouldn't get out of my fucking way and when he eventually deigned to do so, insisted on brake testing me while he dawdled his way into the fucking MIDDLE lane, not even the nearside lane.

An infinite number of cunts who overtook me at speed and then slowed down for no fucking reason whatsoever, but also wouldn't get out of my way.

A further infinite number of cunts who simply wouldn't get out of my fucking way for no good reason, even though the nearside lane WAS COMPLETELY FUCKING EMPTY!!

So, would you clueless fuckers mind going off to read the cunting highway code BECAUSE YOU ALL CLEARLY HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA OF HOW TO DRIVE!!

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

I meet some or all of these every day

Richard said...

This.

Good lane discipline from every driver would make new road building unnecessary, improve everyone's journey times, and save those of us who care about such things severe heart failure.

But most are cunts, agreed.

Mitch said...

So that was you then, love that pink micra Cc.

Anonymous said...

I hate the cunts who rush to pass then push to get in front then turn on the blinker to turn cross traffic, which requires them coming to a complete stop and making everyone else back up behind them - effing selfish cunts.

Mark Wadsworth said...

That's the funny thing, a lot of people get 'road rage' when they are in their cars.

While I observe time and again that traffic lights are hugely soul- and value-destroying, apart from that, usually a deep sensation of Zen like calm descends on me when behind the wheel of my own car listening to my own compilation CD.

I spend half my time slowing down to allow people to pull in from a side road, just for the sheer unmitigated joy of making the world an ever so slightly nicer place. If they don't give me a friendly wave then I swear at them, but that's about it.

sixtypoundsaweekcleaner said...

I don't drive, but I meet peeps like this almost every day in charge of their own feet. I tell ya, the pavement is not a safe place to be!

ian puddick said...

BIGGEST ABUSE OF POLICE POWER

www.policeexpenses.co.uk

Look at the above site before it is removed again

Sim-O said...

and then you get behind some cunt on a motorway slip road doing 35mph and then fucking braking cos there isn't a gap big enough.

I would love a fucking massive spatula on the front of my car, like something from Wacky Races, to just flip these fuckers, like a burger, out of the sodding way.

Just Woke Up said...

Hope you meet her on the road.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2nK_qmvJ7A&feature=related

Just Woke Up said...

I knew it was you...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-4FnZfrV8Q&feature=related


Welcome back you grumpy cunt. Its not the same without the daily dose of clown bile! :)

JuliaM said...

I often wonder just how many of the drivers on the road are actually licensed to be there...

Anonymous said...

The great thing about driving a V8 Landrover is a) you can REALLY piss off those AGW religionists, and b) the bull bars on the front make mincemeat of anyone who thinks braketesting me is a good idea

Oh, and c) it sounds really good!

Mr Wallis said...

Glad to see a nice rage filled post from you again Obnoxio!

The problem is that for some unfathomable reason driving tests don't include ANY motorway driving. Only those willing to pay extra for a "pass plus" will get any motorway experience.

When people sit in the middle or outside lanes on the motorway when the nearside lane is empty, from my experience the best thing to do is just sit behind them at a safe distance flashing repeatedly. Sometimes I even have to go as far as indicating or even demonstrating how to change lanes for them. Eventually it works.

If only the police didn't spend so much time trying to catch people doing 35mph in 30mph zones and instead did something useful like I have seen the French police doing: driving down the motorway and telling people to get the fuck out of the outside lane when the nearside lanes are empty.

Redmenace2000 said...

We have a new four lane highway. It is so obvious that lane discipline is as follows: Inside lane = Slow moving trucks. Second lane = Slow moving trucks belching black smoke. Third lane = Slow moving traffic using mobile phones. Outside lane = Toyota Land Cruisers with flashing lights. Qatar Welcomes Careful Drivers for WC 2022.

The Penguin said...

Yep, there do seem to be a lot of imbeciles behind the wheel. I have yet to see a BMW (Mini)Cooper that wasn't really badly driven. Then there's the coffin-dodgers meandering along at 23 miles per hour...

The Penguin

Anonymous said...

Most of these prats are too screwed up by their miserable stressed existences to be driving - the only way to survive on our roads is to check a vehicles contents and act accordingly. Unfortunately it doesn't cover every eventuality such as the lunatic I met recently at speed on my side of the road on a right hand bend. Even after I pulled off the road he missed me by inches. Thank god I won't be around when he really screws up, selfish Sxxxxxe.

Anonymous said...

Do you think lane discipline would improve if the highways authorities designated lanes 2 & 3 on the motorways, `Cunts Only` and painted and signed them as such? They could even be generous and introduce a 10 second rule, any more than that in lanes 2 or 3 and a gantry sign flashes the number plate and ".....Is aCunt". It's worth a try surely? No one wants to be a cunt, do they?