Monday, 8 September 2008

Words fail me

Via Mrs Dale:

Town hall bureaucrats could soon dictate what homeowners grow in their gardens. The measure is one of 52 ways to cut household waste suggested in a report commissioned by the Department for the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs. Restrictions on fast-growing plants, trees and flowers could be brought in by "including gardens in building regulations" it said.

I've read that over and over again, and I can honestly say that it seems to imply that the government is going to try and tell me what I can and can't grow in my garden. Along with telling me I can't smoke in my own house or car, what I can and can't eat, read, watch or do in my spare time.

Is there no fucking area these cunts don't feel like they can stick their noses in?

Well, come on boys. Come have a go at telling me all these things to my face, if you think you're hard enough.


Old Holborn said...

Shut up.

Do as you are told.

You had your chance with "democracy". Now WE are the masters and you are the servants.

Get used to it. Exit visas are next

Your Faithfully
Bill Beaurocrat, Head of Garden Planning, Town Hall

Anonymous said...

I'm fucking off to the US but I'll be going down the dual nationality route, so let me know when the revolution happens - I'll be standing right next to you, ready to kick the cunts in the knackers. Hard.

Jesus...the thought that people fought and died so that 60 years later, my parents could be told what to grow in their back garden, and maybe have anti-terrorism legislation used against them if they overfill their bins?!?

And let's not forget the kids who live on either side of them, of course, and who might be bribed to spy on them.

Is there any word stronger than 'cunt'? If there is then these useless turd-collecting fucknozzles are that, too.

Panopticon Britain said...

Rob, do us a favour- pop into walmart and get us some guns. Big ones. We're going to fucking need them at this rate.

Anonymous said...

Our council offices have some lovely gardens around them. It would be a shame if fast-growing things like ground elder, dandelions, clover, nettle or dock took hold there.

I have seeds.

I wish I had dynamite.

Anonymous said...

Presumably as fertilisers are an accelerant to growth, these too would be now have to be taxed with a special rate 'save the planet tax'. Manure +5%, Growmore + 10%, and you'd be fucked if you got any Miracle Grow - they'd put a whopping +15% on that.

I'm with Rob Farrington, we need to develop a stronger expression than the word 'cunt'. I really ought to study Roger's Profanisaurus in more detail.

But for now.... the cunts...


Anonymous said...

I find that 'gleety cunt' is good for when plain old 'cunt' just isn't enough. 'Gleet' being a form of syphilitic discharge.

If that's still not enough - 'running sore on a leprous she-mule's cunt' tends to bring about what I believe our American cousins call 'closure'.

Anonymous said...

"Ed Balls" is a stronger expletive than "cunt".

Before you leave for the USA I suggest you brush up on your anatomical knowledge because, alas kicking "cunts in the knackers" seems a tad oxymoronic.

Personally I'd just burn the auto-felching turd jockeys at the stake.

But that is just me.

PS. I probably owe the Clown a H/T for the last post over at Counting Cats on "bin crime". I hope he doesn't come round my gaff though, not with that face on.

Old Holborn said...

"Stinking Felchdrizzle"

"Anal weep"

"Flapstench maggot"

"Glistening discharge"

"Fungal flangecrack"

I could do this all day. I just might.

MrAngryman said...

Anal warts on the arseholes of humanity?

Leprous sores on the weeping penis of mankind?

scabarous interfering fuckstains?


All of the above

I agree with the Guns approach, we need big ones. 50 cal mofo's

Longrider said...

Iain doesn't link to the story; merely cites the Evening Standard. I wonder what the provenance is? Anyone seen anything else on this one?

AntiCitizenOne said...

Necro-bestial Felchers?

killemallletgodsortemout said...

Shit-cunt, with both t's correctly pronounced is rather good, I find.

I'll have a gun, too, please. Mine had to go when they said I was far too dangerous to have one after Dunblane.

All politicians are, to some degree, shit-cunts.

Clunking Fist said...

Stinking Felchdrizzle

I must get over here more often.
That has my vote as expletive of the day.

Trixy said...

I have 23 poppy plants already transplanted into their own pots following my seed sprinkling in August. Will the town hall harpies be round digging them up, convinced I am a heroin dealer?