Monday 27 October 2008

Tomorrow, I'm going to see what my bank manager says

This sounds absolutely spiffy:

Dear Mr Undermanager,

In accordance with the highest principles of financial prudence in these difficult economic times, I have taken the difficult decisions necessary to ensure that the Clown household is not affected by the economic crisis imported from the USA, which definitely has nothing to do with my own profligacy, that I shall be borrowing to fund my continued spending. As you will be aware, I have reduced my credit-card bill from a full year's salary to just over eighteen months' salary, and so I am well-placed to borrow heavily and contribute to the economic recovery of the country. The fact that people are not spending money on circuses right now should not concern you in any way.

I assure you that my apparently extravagant plans to refit my entire house with designer furniture, repave my driveway and purchase a new fleet of vehicles is certain to improve the economy.

Because of the amount I intend to invest in the wisest possible sense, I will not be able to pay the loan off in my lifetime, but I am quite certain that my daughter and her as yet unborn children will not mind funding this on my behalf. I will not be mentioning it to her, lest it upset her. I'd be grateful if you would keep this confidential until she is 18.

I look forward to your cheque for the half-million pound loan at your earliest convenience.

Yours sincerely,


Yes, that's going to work.


Anonymous said...

I have something to lend to Gordon, what do you have?

Excellent post by the way!

Anonymous said...

Such a thrilling post I left a deposit!