Inspired by commenter curly15 in another thread, I thought I'd set out my plan for lancing the boil (it's in a pretty random order, I admit!):
1. Immediately dismantle every single state-controlled CCTV. Every single state database project will be cancelled and police will no longer receive funding from speeding offences. ANPR cameras will not be allowed to store history. Police will be made accountable to local residents. Complete purge of paperwork to the very barest minimum, focus will no longer be on "successful detections", rather on quality and quantity of investigations, possibly including "customer satisfaction". Abolish PCSOs. Crown prosecution service abolished and every member sacked. Decision to prosecute returned to the police. Every sitting magistrate, justice and law lord sacked and start again.
2. Withdraw state funding from every single charity and quango. Any organisation funded by the state to be under the control of a minister. No funding without control.
3. Suspend pending a review, or where possible, terminate immediately every single consultancy agreement between the state and consulting firms.
4. Repeal every single piece of legislation introduced by New Labour.
5. Cut current employment budgets for each department by 95%. Sack every single civil servant and make them re-apply for their job. All civil service benefits will immediately become subject to the same restrictions as the private sector and no more defined benefits pensions will be allowed. Same applies to MPs. All subsidies in Parliament to be removed. Lords will receive reasonable expenses and no salary. MP salaries will increase in line with inflation figures published by the government. John Lewis list to be replaced with ASDA list. Second homes only if outside Tube coverage or more than 60 minutes by public transport. Massive cut in the number of MPs / constituencies.
6. Raise the tax threshold to £12000 and introduce a flat tax of 25% thereafter -- no exemptions, exclusions or fucking about. Hopefully the rates could come down or the threshold go up as the cuts started to bite. VAT would be abolished. Tax review to identify all stealth taxes and abolish them all. National Insurance Ponzi scheme shitcanned and replaced with an actual insurance project, funded out of income tax if possible. Corporate taxes would be at a flat rate of 25% as well. To cope with the anticipated sacking of 95% of the civil service, companies would get an allowance for every new permanent employee who remains employed for longer than 12 months and was never formerly employed at that company. Abolish the minimum wage.
7. Tell the EU to fuck off. Free trade with all, no binding entanglements with anyone. All EU-based regulation chucked in the bin. Companies who still wish to trade with the EU are welcome to comply with EU regulations.
8. Sack every non-medical person in the NHS apart from the switchboard operators. Break up the NHS so that every hospital, dentist and GP practise is its own business. Restrict "free at point of delivery" to A&E and long-term illnesses only. Everyone can "go private". Voucher system for state contribution to the medical insurance of your choice which will be sufficient for basic health care at any insurance provider.
9. No state curriculum. Schools can do whatever they want. No state sponsorship of LEAs or schools individually: parents will get a voucher for each kid that they can use to put them in any school they like. Schools can choose how much extra they want to charge, if anything. Exams are a matter for the schools, but the International Baccalaureat and International GCSEs will be recognised. Universities are for people who want to learn more, so all admissions targets will be scrapped. Students will be given loans which will be interest free until they commence gainful employment at which time they will be repaid and attract interest on the outstanding balance at BOE rates with a target of being repaid over a period of time equal to the duration of the loan. Repayments will be deducted at the same time as tax, but will not exceed the amount of the citizen's income, unless specifically authorised by the person.
10. Smoking will be re-introduced into buildings with appropriate and adequate extraction devices. This will be aggressively policed to make sure that they are adequate. (Because I fucking hate smelling like an ashtray.) People who want to continue the smoking ban in their buildings may, of course, do so.
11. Watchdogs will get teeth and focus will be on detecting crimes rather than ticking boxes.
12. Climate change can get fucked. Feed-in cuntwaftery abolished. No preference for renewable energy, which must stand or fall on its own merits. Commissioning of nuclear power stations with immediate effect or buy in loads of these. We could probably get a bulk discount.
13. Complete dead stop on all current military capex projects. New military buying to focus on what is necessary to support soldiers in their current engagements followed by a review of the purpose of the military in a Libertarian society (defence, mainly) and a committed 4-year program to fund that structure. No preference for buying British, just buy what works best.
14. All state pensions will be funded by tax feeds into the black hole, sadly. But by reducing the state budget for employees to nearly nothing, the black hole will not grow much. Any surplus in the budget will be used to buy insurance or shares to help reduce the size of the black hole.
15. All current benefit programs will be entirely abolished and replaced with a basic, un-means-tested citizen's income for subjects of Her Majesty, i.e. people born in the UK or people who have been naturalised. Paying tax for a minimum period of four years will be a pre-condition of naturalisation. Such people will be over the age of 16. There will be a further, small supplement on the birth of the first child. Subsequent children are your problem. No benefits for EU citizens or for asylum seekers. Asylum seekers would be housed in basic accommodation and provided with supermarket vouchers in line with the citizen's income for a period of three months and then chucked out onto the street.
16. Complete review of health and safety regulations with a view to making people regard common sense as more important than risk aversion.
17. Complete abolition of all regulation that could be used for rent seeking and all regulation that encourages moral hazard. Bank and other shares currently owned by the government will be sold on the open market. No bail-outs for anyone. Banks and other financial institutions will retain sufficient funds to meet depositor requirements, failure to comply with this (if a bank has a run and can't meet deposits) will result in criminal prosecutions with life sentences for the board of the banks. Regulators will be incentivised on successful prosecutions of crimes which could cause individuals loss of money. Regulators will be massively de-incentivised on frivolous prosecutions.
18. Massive prison capacity-building projects. Crimes against individuals will carry stiff minimum sentences so that even if bleeding-heart judges want to let cunts off with a slap on the wrist, they can't. All trials by jury. Juries can note a recommendation from a judge or coroner, but can't be directed.
19. All drugs legalised. Really nasty Class-A stuff will be available free on prescription and must be consumed under medical supervision. Other drugs will be made available through approved pharmacies and profits from these will be hypothecated to dealing with the consequences of drug abuse, programs to get people off drugs or reducing the tax burden on all. I don't expect many profits, though, because I don't want to make it so expensive that a black market develops.
20. All business regulations scrapped completely and redeveloped on the basis that individuals are engaging with other individuals. Employers and employees will negotiate contracts of employment that suit them both. The state will provide sample contracts that can form the basis of these contracts if people want them. Any regulation will be to allow detection of abuse, rather than to encourage a box-ticking mentality.
21. Land value tax will replace council tax. Councils will receive no government funding. Councils will be subject to a range of minimum standards and strict limits to what they can do. They will have no responsibility for schools, health care, social justice or anything other than sanitation and keeping the environment presentable (streets clean, street lights working, gum and dog shit off the streets, etc.) Competition in managing services versus taxes levied to be encouraged and results published.
22. Abolish any road charging schemes and all bus lanes will be strictly limited to "rush hours" only. Routes not demonstrably full of bus passengers will lose their bus lanes. All subsidies of privatised "public transport" will be removed. All regulation of fares will be removed. All contracts for ownership of routes will be terminated. All rail networks will be open to competitive tender for the management and maintenance thereof. Death of a passenger will attract an immediate prosecution for corporate manslaughter for the entire board of the responsible companies (train and network maintenance.) Same for bus companies. The only get out would be proof that the circumstances were outside their control (such as a plane landing on their train or bus.)
23. Completely open and transparent, audited statistics published monthly on inflation, unemployment, money printing, etc. Since I don't expect to be re-elected, I want you to know just how shit the situation is I inherited, what I've done to fix it and how things look when I leave.
24. All discriminatory legislation abolished. No preference for travellers, Muslims, Jedis, one-legged blind black lesbians. No mandatory paternity leave. Mandatory maternity leave reduced to three months. Public pools that have "Muslim-lady-only" sessions will be filled in and the managers shot.
Update: 25. Firearm ownership to become legal. Licensing required. Training required and an annual proficiency test. Restrictions based on mental health or criminal grounds.
Update: 26. Abolish the license fee. The BBC, Channel 4, etc., can all go fuck themselves. Cunts.
If people like what they see and vote for me again, I'd do my level best to reduce income tax further by reducing the amount spent on vouchers because I really do believe people can spend their own money more wisely, but I accept that this depends on nearly full employement and that people at the margins could lose out.