Thursday, 9 October 2008

Dear Sir

My previous letter refers. I wandered past the police station again today. I was pleased to see that an official police vehicle was not parked on the double yellow lines on a blind bend at the station today.

Sadly, however, I did see a civilian car parked in this spot today. A surreptitious peek into the car gave no clue that it might be an unmarked police car, but either way, it's surely not good form is it?

Anyway, I was slightly cheered to see some actual police walking around town today, a group of them were walking back from McDonalds, presumably after lunch. I have to say, I find the black uniform and stab-proof vest with all the accountrements rather sinister. The black peaked cap reminds me vaguely of something else, I can't think what, but somehow I felt some patent leather jackboots would round the ensemble off rather appropriately.

I wasn't entirely impressed by their behaviour, though. They walked down the pavement in a solid phalanx, forcing other pedestrians onto the street. They didn't seem to care much that they were needlessly forcing women and the aged out in front of cars, which I thought was a bit churlish.

I passed them while they paused to try and disperse a group of young people. For some reason, the young people appeared not to respect the police at all, and I heard several pointed remarks that caused me to bite my lip. I would not have wanted them to see that I was smiling, because although they were completely outnumbered by the feral youth, they outnumbered me significantly, and I would have hated to wind up in a cell for "looking at them in a funny way."

However, they did catch up to me at the traffic light waiting to cross the road. I had my iPod headphones in my ears, but no music was playing. I could thus clearly hear the somewhat uncharitable observations they were making about my teeth behind my back.

All in all, I was very confused. Everyone wants to see real police patrolling the streets to make us feel safer. Yet this group of cowardly bullying cunts didn't make me feel safe at all.

Needless to say, when we got to the police station, they ignored the illegally parked car. I was very surprised by this.

Yours with even greater insincerity,
Obo

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

We have those police in stab vests too. They think they're safe, but if I was going to stab one, I'd stab the neck or the leg, which the vest doesn't cover. The vest makes it obvious where not to stab, as far as I can tell.

Someone's going to, one day, and they'll get no sympathy from me.

They act like chavs, so they should be treated the same way.

Guthrum said...

tossers

Anonymous said...

"They act like chavs, so they should be treated the same way."

And just like chavs, only brave whwen outnumbering their prey five to one, or picking on a weaker, submissive target.

Hence members of the public are harassed for minor offences, while gangs of youths are overlooked (too much paperwork and risk).

Anonymous said...

Its good to hear your stalking the local Police force,good work,keep it up. The illegally parked car may have belonged to a gay person or an illegal immigrant,so please dont be too surprised at this not recieving a ticket (tut).