Wednesday 31 December 2008

I'm looking forward to 2009

I reckon it's going to be a great year, what with the Gorgon and his merry band of jolly elves leading us forward. We are well-placed to face the recession, so the prospect of losing 1600 jobs per day shouldn't concern us at all. Or pay cuts.

Plus, despite the fact that we live on an island where it pisses down all year long, we're running out of water. The government is planning new ways of regulating this, of course, which means that there will be more quangoes and more quangocrats and more people sticking their fucking nose into how you live your life.

Despite all the government hullabaloo, there are now record numbers of fatal stabbings. So perhaps it will merely be a quick, painful death by blade, rather than a protracted, excruciating death by thirst.

The housing market is fucked in the extreme, so you can't sell up and bail out.

The government looks like it's launching a massive crackdown on blogging and there will be more salami-slicing of a thousand years of civil liberties. And because the cunts are going after the drinkers and the fatties now that they've fucked the smoker, you won't even be able to drink yourself blotto to forget.

Twenty-five years after it was predicted, I reckon 2009 will be the real 1984.

Happy New Year!

9 comments:

David Vance said...

But on the downside....?

Anonymous said...

Don’t forget that these islands are being sacrificially eroded by the sea, but, our masters, in Europe, have decreed that any recovery landfill waste must be punitively taxed. The options are to pay the Eurogeld or be washed away.

Hacked Off said...

Don't forget the continuing taxing to death of the motorist.

The Penguin

Catosays said...

Don't forget these Hoons in Westminster either.

North Northwester said...

On the bright side, 2009 is another year during which our witless and heartless leaders can be encouraged to feel the warmth and muscular power of our man-love exploring their nethermost entryways as we try to blog them to death...

JPT said...

A very interesting year coming up I think...

JD said...

Happy New Year to you, too.
Might be great.
JD.

banned said...

Met a chap today, in the process of moving to my fair city from Luton, god awful place that I knew some years ago.
He's well educated, aerospace professional engineeer, not a BNP neanderthal.
His urban myth is that Luton has seen 100+ families arsoned out of their homes in the predominantly Muslim areas of that town ( Bury Park, Marsh Farm ) and 10 or more Churches firebombed.
His final straw came when his teenage son and a friend, returning late at night from a party, were set upon by two carloads of Muslim youths and beaten into hospital.
The Police photographed 49 injuries on his son but his friend fared worse.
The unofficial Police view is that, on Fridays, the Muslim youths get fired up in the Mosques about the evil of the west and then go cruising looking for victims. They stick to fists and boots, not out of 'honour' but because when the Police stop them they can do nothing because there are no offensive weapons.

The local press keep schtum about this sectarian gangsterism in a town just thirty minutes from London.
Chap I was talking to was from Belfast btw so he knows a bit about sectarianism.

Labours Multi-Culti legacy.

Happy New Year.

SaltedSlug said...

This is me calling from the future.

It's really shit.

That is all.