Local authorities could run out of salt to grit roads within three or four days as Britain faces a week of paralysis after the heaviest snow for at least 18 years, it has emerged.
So let me get this straight: you keep fucking around my rubbish collections, you spy on what I put in my bins, you want to invade my house to see who is living there, you want to hector and nanny me in every way, but you can't even keep enough salt around to keep us on the roads? I know a guy at a long-term weather facility, they've known this shit was coming for months.
Go long on piano wire and lamp-posts folks. We have a lot of work to do.