Thursday, 5 March 2009

Quote of the hemisecond

Bwaaahahahahahaha!!!

Fascinating stuff, although I believe young ladies in Yorkshire have taken this a step further by inserting vodka jelly into their front bottoms! Police and local health officials have expressed concerns at this minge drinking.


The entire thread is beyond my capacity to express.

Update: Via the Salted Slug, this:



Update 2: Aaah! Mercy!

But afterwards - I felt exceptionally clean. Not only that - but I guess I have the only arse in the UK with highlights.


Update 3: In a moment of supreme irony, I've just been to the loo, only to discover ...

9 comments:

Bristol Dave said...

When I went to Bangalore 2 years ago to train up the "IT professionals" (used in the loosest sense of the word) that were taking my job, they had "ass hoses" in the toilet, and they are just fucking disgusting.

They only need them because (and not to put it too crudely) when it comes to Indian shit, toilet paper just doesn't cut it. What this hose proceeds to do is spray your shit all over the toilet cubicle, so you just end up with a watery, shitty, mess, with "muddy" footprints leading out from the toilet cubicle. Often there would be an ass-hair or two stuck to the end of the ass hose.

It's fucking disgusting. There's no way that he can suggest we have lessons to learn from these third-world countries when it comes to sanitation.

The Penguin said...

Bring back the medicated shiny greaseproof paper IZAL, and rename it "John Wayne".

Takes no shit from anyone.

The Penguin.

Mark Wadsworth said...

Brilliant. I had to give up at this one because it's difficult laughing quietly in an open-plan office:

Bartel: In the interests of dragging this debate even further down the crapper... What do you do if you're having a barclay's? Hose the man-juice off the bathroom wall?

Mark Wadsworth said...

I struggled on manfully as far as this:

AlternativeTentacles: better greener option:
you may have heard of "the doctor fish" which eats dead skin off your feet immersed in a fish tank. if we can get genetically modify some koi (well tempered) with miniature laser beams strapped to their heads to blast the shit-bits off our butts while keeping them immersed a few minutes. hey presto...

Henry North London said...

Indian toilets are generally disgusting

Its best to carry handgel when in that country

I went to India for five weeks and had a gippy tummy for all that time

lost half a stone and looked good but the toilets were a real danger

Pervy Paul said...

About the Yorkshire lassies: can I join in and lick the ladies clean? There's some jelly taste that hasn't gone away and won't for... oh, about fifteen minutes or so.

JuliaM said...

"The entire thread is beyond my capacity to express."

Ah, but it's a CiF thread actually worth reading. For a change...

microdave said...

"Bring back the medicated shiny greaseproof paper IZAL."

My first employer used to provide this (it was a long time ago), and every sheet was printed with the words "******" property" "Now please wash your hands"

You bloody needed to wash afterwards, as all it did was spread the shit around. God knows why they wasted money on having it security marked - no bastard was going to nick it.....

Funniest thread I've read for days!

Anonymous said...

This is the stuff you need in the UK

"Badgers Arse"

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/timothy.clews/pics/badgersarse.gif