Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Unbefuckinglievable hoonage

Yer 'aving a giraffe, mate:

It turns out that Jobcentre bosses in London have organised an Easter Egg hunt for the jobless. Among the gifts laid on courtesy of the Easter Bunny James Purnell will be an application form to become a security guard, a licence to work on building sites and vouchers to buy an interview suit.

Around 150 jobless will this Wednesday be asked to search for 35 chocolate eggs hidden around the Southwark offices of Jobcentre Plus contractor, Skills Training Centre UK.

I'd seen this somewhere else, but didn't realise that they weren't hunting for eggs, they were actually hunting for these fucking "gifts" (funded by the taxpayer, natch!)

How fucking insulting can you actually get towards someone who wants to get a job?


W. S. Badfellowe said...

Personally, whatever the consequences, I would join in the "hunt" like a wild animal, find all thirty-five "eggs" and then demonstrate to - and on/with/under - the "organiser" exactly how the monkey puts his nuts where the JSA sun rarely shines. Then I would follow the eggs with the office furniture.

To avoid prosecution I would have a friend film it on their mobile phone and call it "Happy Ramming".

What next? Messrs Unemployed (of all species and flavours from professional unemployed to kosher unemployable) to sign on in fancy dress in order to keep the JSA staff amused?

I'm sorry, Mr X, you're not getting paid this fortnight because you aren't wearing a tutu and you won't tap dance for us.

Late April Fool's joke, surely?


Oh no, surely not for real?

JuliaM said...

And this is almost as bad:

"From today, householders are invited to call a government hotline offering a coupon giving up to 15 per cent off the DIY chain's security products.

They will also be sent a pack containing top tips on how to keep out burglars, such as remembering to close doors and windows and leave on a light if going out for the evening"

Anonymous said...

How can they "raffle" a "licence" to work on a building site.

Wouldn't that normally be a sort of health-and-safety type thingie (Specifically, the only thing I can think of that would fit is a CSCS card), that you need to pass a test to get?

So jobless types who haven't passed the test can suddenly now be licenced because it seems like a good gimmick?

Surely not, a NuLab initiative that's not been thought through properly? Say it ain't so!

microdave said...

"and leave on a light if going out for the evening"

Think of the carbon footprint...

Fidel Cuntstruck said...

I think all those "Job Seekers" joining in this jolly jape need to be a bit careful - hunting Chocolate Eggs could be construed as "doing work" - they'll look a bit sick if some twat stops their JSA over it.