Wednesday, 27 May 2009

Nanny, nanny, nanny ...

For the fucking sake of fucking fuck, here we fucking go again:

Listening to football while driving increases the risk of crashing, experts warn.

Fans who tuned into matches while in a driving simulator accelerated, overtook, tailgated and changed lanes at key points in the game.

Professor Michael J Pont, of the University of Leicester, said: 'It is widely accepted the distraction of talking on a mobile phone may lead to accidents, but other activities may have a similar impact.

'Football fans should ask someone else to drive during important games.'

So, expect car radios to become illegal in years to come. Because you can't trust a driver to do anything without legal guidance.


Tip of the clown wig to Donal.


Tim W said...

In fact, allowing people to drive is pretty dangerous. Trams all round, then? Or if you're want to live on the edge, maybe a state-run taxi?

JuliaM said...

Just football? What about rugby?

In fact, why sport at all? What about talk shows? Newsflashes? Your favourite song?

"'Football fans should ask someone else to drive during important games.'"

Yeah, I can see that working: 'Could you take the wheel for an hour or so, I'm not responsible for my actions when West Ham's playing away. Thanks awfully..'

Seriously, don't they have anything more important to be researching at the University of Leicester?

Anonymous said...

I'm waiting for the headline that says "Women to be banned from talking to each other while driving"

Should be good for a laugh.

Chalcedon said...

We have also had talking to your wife/husband or passenger is a distraction that can cause a crash, smoking can be a distraction, mobile phone even hands free is a dangerous distraction. I nearly crashed my car once near RAF Wittering as a bloody Harrier flew so low I could count the rivets and it was incredibly noisy. Are we going to man warplanes landing?

I am sick of this bollox.

Chalcedon said...

That would be BAN not man FFS!

JuliaM said...

You were obviously distracted by something, Chalcedon. Good match...? ;)

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

As long as driving whilst furiously pulling the head off your boaby is still legal I'm happy...

Angry Exile said...

Women joggers, very dangerous. Come summer time they'll be rollerblading down the sea front in bikinis. Sorry ladies, it's got to be burqas all round in the name of faux road safety. Either that or maybe the police could maybe force you to spend almost all your time looking at the instruments by fining you $150 or more for going 2kph over the limit...

... oh hang on.

Chalcedon said...



Good one. Crappy keyboard aim and too rapid a use of the enter key. Or distracted by the UFO that shot over my house just then.

David Gillies said...

Listening to more than two badgering pronouncements a week by self-appointed moralistic fucktrumpets can cause a potentially fatal increase in blood pressure, safety campaigners warn. Dr Hector Prodnose, of Kwiksave University (formerly Cricklewood Polytechnic) said, "studies show that the constant barrage of impertinent cockwaffle from neo-Puritan arseholes with nothing better to do can lead to a range of symptoms, including uncontrollable urges to kill, shrieking attacks of the most appalling profanity and even death by apoplexy." He added, "it is widely accepted that the only way to curb this menace is to corral every safety campaigner in the land in a disused open-cast mine and have the RAF napalm it for three days flat."

David Davis said...

I blame the Wireless Tele Vision, myself.

Foot Ball would be a much less dangerous activity if

(a) You could only see it by going to the Foot Ball Ground - as was intended:

(b) Foot Ball players were paid £5 a week - and that was if they were good,

(c) The GramscoFabiaNazis had not built Foot Ball up into their primary means of delivering "panem et circenses" to the male part of the plebaeians, as the way to take their attention off

(i) What they were now _not learning_ in "schools", and

(ii) What was being done in the shadows of FabiaNazi politics, by the Enemy Class.

Mitch said...

Ok then all football matches played in secret and the result posted to all supporters.

This cuts accidents and saves the post office too.

Fuck this government shit is easy.....gimee the money?

John said...

David Gillies,
Thank you - that is the funniest thing I've read for a while, actually made me laugh. Agree with every word too.

Rob said...

What about playing football while driving? Not a word, I see.

Roger Thornhill said...

How bout a single adult driving kids to school? Ever wondered why driving is so bad at that time?

Or even a lone adult driving an under 3. Period?

Alec Issigonis, designer of the original Mini, IIRC did not include provision for a radio because of his feelings regarding the impact to road safety. He used to quote the law in Japan forbidding talking to a driver.

This is not new.